Caused a scene in a cafe today. Now wondering if we were unreasonable

• do if you worked with an English colleague abroad

I don’t think that is the case.

If, using your example, a bilingual English couple invited a non English speaking French child round then yes it would be rude of them to speak in English when they could speak French.

How do you know they are using their language to be mean about you? Do you speak fluent Polish? Or are they simply communicating with each other in their native language? As you would surely don't you worked with an English colleague abroad.

It's not that, it's when they insult non Welsh speakers thinking they aren't understood that grates on others.

Do you really think it’s strange ?

In north wales people are bilingual.

In most of Spain only Spanish is spoken.

But Welsh was their first language. If you and your husband moved to France, both speaking French as a second language but still spoke in English to each other, would you be ‘rude’? There something about speaking Welsh that seems to really grate a few English people. Like there is this underlying anger that the language will not piss off for their convenience and it’s somehow silly that Wales won’t just fold and just see themselves as an extension for England.

The Polish I work with do this all day long, I agree with you it’s pathetic.

Not even all of north Wales, if you're from the counties of Conwy, Denbighshire, Flintshire, Wrexham, you can get the cold shoulder in certain establishments.

I have a really strong feeling this thread may end up getting zapped.

Nos da.

Can you tell us what the waitress said 🤔

But what was it that she was saying about you?

Historical context. It's within the living memory of many Welsh people that we drowned their villages to create reservoirs for Liverpool and Birmingham; that people's grandparents were beaten for speaking Welsh at school. This is fairly recent history. It's not that long ago in the scheme of things. And it doesn't help when the English keep churning out this old cliché that the Welsh all "switch to speaking Welsh" when English people arrive. It's so bloody arrogant to assume that.

I just knew it would be Gwynedd or Anglesey. We're in Conwy too. I've been hearing these complaints for decades. They're just ignorant. We always say a few words in Welsh to head them off sigh ..

Had this in France. Shop assistant made a derogatory comment to a French customer whilst glancing in my direction. (Been talking to dh in English so knew I was English)

I could at the time speak French well enough to understand what she said.

She immediately knew by the look on my face I understood exactly what she had said and never had such amazing customer service.

No of course it doesn't mean OP has to speak Welsh I just find it odd that she chose not to, as do other posters. If OP had been visiting our part of Wales, it would seem much less odd.

This thread has attracted the Welsh bashers too, which is sad.

I went to university in Bangor but dropped out after a year as the locals (inc the uni staff) were so vicious. It made for a horrible environment.

Yes, I would definitely have confronted her. I would also have given an exceptionally bad review of the cafe online.

I grew up in a small village in a rural location in England (North Lincolnshire.) While I was still at primary school a new family moved in to the village. The parents were Welsh though none of their three children sounded or spoke Welsh.

Both parents were completely fluent in English but in certain social situations would still speak Welsh to each other, which frankly seemed rude.

I was once invited to their eldest daughter's birthday party. During the party the parents conversed in Welsh much of the time. At 10, I was probably the oldest child there and I felt a bit uncomfortable that the parents were basically speaking in a "secret" language.

And yes, I can imagine the comments, "Oh how dare they speak their own language in their own home!" But they had a house full of invited guests who didn't speak a word of Welsh, they both spoke English fluently, so to carry on a conversation in Welsh did seem rude.

Am English and ended up living in North Wales for a while with a Welsh man. Many people were absolutely fine with me but others could be incredibly rude in shops and so forth. Unfortunately it seems to be par for the course.

That does not ring true, if you are fluent in Welsh and go to a cafe in a predominantly Welsh speaking area you would naturally initiate any conversations in Welsh. I worked in a village in which was overwhelmingly first language Welsh and all the Welsh speakers who came into the shop for the first time initially spoke Welsh to me without exception.

@putitdown356 the children did tell mummy I'd said something "very naughty"!

similar happene to me in wales-was in a shop talking to my step daughhter 0im originally from london so quite cockney-2 women near me starte to talk in welsh-my sd turne roun an said something like dont be so rude in welsh

she pulle me away an said they were slagging me off saying bloody english everywhhere-an you imagine if i sai that about them

You're entitled to your own feelings, but this thread is not about your feelings and you seem set on denying the OP's experience.

Moreover, when people are bilingual they quite often, for example, use the language that they find the most convenient, depending on the subject. For example they might not know the terminology for discussing computers in one language but might know it in another. I have a friend who is bilingual and speaks her father's language when she's with her parents, even when alone with and talking to her mother (whose first language is different). People use language as they choose.

@Letmegohome would love to have seen it!