To wonder if my 6 year old thinks in a strange way

Yes I understand where you are coming from op.

I remember as a child being totally transported by the wonder of it all.

But back then I think it was a bit easier not to see through it. The whole Christmas season was shorter, so people didn’t dwell on it as much, have Santa things in the shops from October etc. It was just suddenly nearly Christmas, the box of decorations came out seemingly from nowhere, and you were still wrapping your mind round the fact that there was an actual tree in your house, when your parents asked you to write a list, put out cookies and milk for him and you were - as you say - listening for the bells.

I still remember vividly sitting beneath our quite large Christmas tree dressed in my best dress for a Carol service, waiting for my favourite cousin to arrive also dressed up, faces flushed with excitement. The lights were dimmed, so just a lamp and the tree lights. I was looking up through the branches at the twinkly lights which glinted on the gold bows on the gifts wrapped below and listening to the sound of a tinkly Carol from one of our musical Christmas ornaments and thinking this was so wondrous I might burst with happiness. Was Father Christmas REALLY going to bring presents? I could just about still remember from last year - because a year is actually a long time for children if Christmas hasn’t started in October! I must have been about 5 or 6 and I will take that feeling to my grave as one of the most wonderful moments.

I was so keen to preserve that sense of wonder for our dc that I have been known to prance round our garden with bells ( a good trick to try to befuddle her!) on Christmas Eve!

But I’ve never understood Elf on the Shelf. It’s pretty bloody obvious it’s s plastic doll and I’m pretty sure it would have got me thinking a bit cynically as a child. I think it has all got so commercialised there are too many chances to hit a wrong note and give it all away. It was quickly upon you then over and done with when I was small. Total magic and the joy of childhood.

All 6 year olds think a little funny sounds like you have got a very logical one she is going to do great in life

My son aged 2/3 declared he didn’t believe in the Easter bunny or why would they sell Easter eggs in Tesco. He’s always been logical and fiercely intelligent. Struggles with friendships more from secondary school onwards so perhaps somewhere on the ASD spectrum.

Your daughter sounds great to me!

@sashh yes! "The magic is in working out the puzzle!" What a succinct way to put it.

There's a line in the musical Hamilton that says "Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room?" That's DD! 😂and I think many other teenagers, tbh. She definitely loves sarcasm, and isn't afraid to use it on the thickos she's forced to live with. She is also deeply kind, trying to find a way to keep the magic for her younger siblings who do enjoy it without lying (she has made them all a gingerbread house advent calendar with personalised gifts inside)... a wonderful girl, I'm so proud of her.

I think our kids are cleverer than we think and just don't tell us they do t believe to save our feelings.

I mean it's just not that believable is it ? Santa elves etc When you really look at the facts.

That sounds like me, and I have no diagnosis but a lot of autistic traits.

I remember having a discussion Xmas morning with my brother. Neither of us believed but decided to 'play along' because our parents would be disappointed.

My cousin, aged 6 when with her mum and dog to the vet. The vet, trying to indulge a small child gave her toy dog a vaccine and tried to explain it didn't hurt. 6 year old: "it doesn't hurt because it is a toy dog".

Some of us are just like this OP, we see the world in a different way.

Don't worry about the magic, for some of us the magic is working out the puzzle.

Oh and Christmas was still entirely magical! 🎄❄️😃😃

Yes me too. At least, I worked it out as soon as I thought about it. I remember being amused (if slightly patronised) when my similarly nonsense-averse parents clearly left large hints so we would know who really loved us enough to give us all those presents. I thought "do they think I haven't worked it out?"

I don't remember ever believing in Santa, I knew it was my mum and dad, it was still very very fun, exciting and magical to pretend.

Interesting the thread about autism. My child who is most like this is being assessed. He likes to know how everything works and will come up with explanations of his own if the ones he finds don't make sense. But I thought this way too as a child and I'm not autistic.

Sad? She is smart!
And she is 6. Not 4.

This sounds like my daughter. She cracked Santa early too. I always remember when she was about three walking through the woods and I said ‘I wonder if we’ll see a fairy’ and she just turned and looked at me with disgust and said ‘fairies aren’t real mummy, if they were, scientists would have caught them’. She is now very into real facts and still enjoys hearing a story and gets totally absorbed. She’s just rational through and through. We try and find the awe and wonder from real life things.

My DD admitted that she stopped believing at about 6, she said she always knew it was me and her Dad. Although she also never liked Santa, she didn't like the idea of him coming into the house at night, she hates anybody coming to the house, even family.

She's very logical and switched on. She's 13 now and interestingly were waiting for an Autism assessment for her.

My eldest never believed. She just pulled a face and said it wasn't possible and that was it. And this was from a very early age. It's not that unusual. As she got a bit older I've got her to understand that the pretending is the fun part. So I pretend it's real and she plays along and enjoys it because she's knows I know it's not true. She's also ND (and in her twenties now and I'm still pretending 🤣)

She sounds super smart! Good for her.

Some children find the idea of Santa, the tooth fairy and being left home alone a bit troubling and need proof that they aren’t reality. Her imaginary games probably don’t worry her at all which is why she is happy to suspend her disbelief for them.

Everyone is talking about the santa stuff, but the comment about Kevin in home alone is almost the 'saddest' or most unusual.
Its a shame not to lose yourself in a film or book say.
She didn't distinguish between kevin the character and Macauley Culkin the actor. You meant Kevin was all alone which he was.

She is how she is. I'm sure she's a wonderful child as they all are, in all their unique ways! It can be a jolt when you realise your child is quite different to you in some way.

So .....she is smart, savvy and switched on and yet you'd rather she was more like you were as a child?

🙄

Use YOUR imagination and make this time of year magical without the lies

Start yearly Christmas rituals which are joyful and sparkling and which dovetail with your child's intelligence

Be thankful that you have an AMAZING AWESOME child

Stop whinging

Not sad.

My ds thinks exactly the same way.

He did believe in Santa or rather never said he didn't but he took things at face value.

However one year I did the icing sugar footprints and although he was excited Santa had filled his sticking he asked me why there were flour footprints in the hallway 🤦‍♀️😂

He is autistic. We didn't know at the time though.

She's a critical thinker. That's a good thing.

Don't assume there has been no magic in her childhood. She's only challenged a few things. I'm sure there are other magical things she has accepted without question, particularly when she was younger.

5/6 is old to believe in Santa and Elf on the shelf.

As soon as mine started school they knew Santa was not real.

Sad for who?

This. I was like that and I think I'm quite normal now just not easily taken in.

I figured out it was my parents very early.

My eldest 'believed' in Santa and the Tooth fairy by sheer force of will until he was 12. My youngest is much more cynical, and had his doubts from about 3 (but still asked that the tooth fairy and stockings were kept out of his room, as he didn't like the idea of someone coming in while he was asleep!)

In fact I got in trouble (well, a concerned parent and teacher asked that I tell my kids to keep quiet about it!) at school because my kids said something about the elf on the shelf being parents - when all I'd said was that there was no way a naughty elf would be tolerated in my house - I'd immediately chuck it out rather than encourage it.

In summary - I like how logical she is. Bodes well for her (and tricky for you if you want to keep any magic or secrets!)

Children can be very intelligent and academic and also have a childish imagination. I agree with OP that it's a bit sad that her child doesn't believe in the magic of Christmas.

I’m autistic as well and I don’t lie either, so I can relate! I was only diagnosed last year at the age of 64.

My diagnosis has actually helped me so much because I’ve been exploited by wicked people several times in my life and I had thought I must have been very stupid to take them at face value and not to know they were being deceptive. Now I understand it’s not lack of intelligence that led me to believe them.

Just struggling now with trusting anyone at all. Pendulum swing I suppose 🤷🏼‍♀️