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AIBU?

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Request from DH

83 replies

Ducksinarow876 · 26/11/2024 20:24

Dh and I are not in great place. Long story but the stresses of 2 full time jobs, 2 young children means we don't get a lot of time together and we definitely take things for granted etc. There's some other stuff as well but that's the overall reason

Dh is currently away at the moment with a friend. He moans I don't put enough effort into the relationship. He has a much higher sex drive than I do and this has always been an issue.

We had a quick call as he is away and has just complained I obviously don't midd hin as I've not sent him anything, meaning I've ot sent him any nudes pictures of me. It's a regular request when he is away (or even just at work) he thinks that sending stuff will help improve things

I'm just not interested. The evenings he has been away has been full of sorting the house, tidying up, finishing some work and enjoying an early night yo myself.

He seems to think this is a usual request all couples do. I've said they might but it's not what I routinely think about and now he's sulking.

OP posts:
Bridgetomalley · 26/11/2024 20:35

You have no idea what he will do with nude pictures if you sent them. Who he might show them too, share them with, or what website he might upload them on to. You would be giving him power over you.
I dont think sending nudes would improve things between you. But having an open conversation about the issues in your marriage hopefully might.

Hoppinggreen · 26/11/2024 20:34

DH spent years travelling extensively, including once when he was away for a month.
not once did I ever send nudes nor did he ask.

Gingerlingerlonger · 26/11/2024 20:34

DO NOT SEND NUDES.

First and uppermost because it's your body and you don't want to.

Even if you leave out the possibility of him showing them around for some reason, phones get lost and stolen all the time and cloud storage can be hacked.

Don't do it.

I don't say this often but LTB.

NewName24 · 26/11/2024 20:31

Agree with all the other replies.

He seems to think this is a usual request all couples do

Well, he is wrong.

Do NOT send him nude or suggestive pictures.
He is clearly not an empathetic and loving partner. Who knows what he would do with them, even if it were something you di feel comfortable doing - which I suggest would put you in a very small minority of people.

Onlyvisiting · 26/11/2024 20:31

Absolutely do not be pressured into sending pictures.
Concentrating on your relationship, making time for date nights, sex, whatever when he is home- all fine.
Sending naked pictures for him to get off to when you clearly have no desire to do so, hard no.
Tell him its really not something you are comfortable with, doesn't mean you don't miss him. (Well, you might not, but nudes are not the way to prove your affections imo 😅)

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/11/2024 20:28

Sending nudes to a man who doesn't understand boundaries? What could possibly go wrong?

Hard no.

DebtinVegas · 26/11/2024 20:27

Sorry op but he sounds horrible. It’s not a usual thing to request as far as I know. Certainly not when the other person is clearly not into it.

Brefugee · 26/11/2024 20:27

never send nudes.
Who knows who might see them or what the future might bring.

The early years are brutal, both working, housework to do and small kids to entertain/keep alive. But if you want to keep your marriage alive, maybe you both need to talk and set realistic expectations of each other.

But don't send nudes. Any bloke who asked for nude photos of me would get Very Short Shrift