Request from DH

I have never sent my husband a nude. Your husband sounds awful. Sorry, I hope things get better. x

Urgh tell him not to come home! He sounds really immature.
This isn't what all couples do, DH travels for work and I've never even thought of sending him nudes, and thankfully he's never sent me one either!

I hear what you're saying and I'm not suggesting she does something she actively doesn't want to do.
But sometimes you have to actively keep your sex life going as without that, you're just friends and coparents.

But the statements here actually conflict - the OP has said she actively doesn;t want to do what her DH is asking and yet you are saying she needs to compromise and ‘actively keeps your sex life going’!! Ie, she should be doing what she clearly doesn’t want to do. Sex and intimacy is important in relationships, but sometimes it is not the most important thing when you are juggling multiple jobs and small children.

Also, everyone these days seems to conflate sex with emotional intimacy, which is a completely separate thing and is actually what deep, secure relationships are about. I’m not hearing that OP is getting any emotional intimacy here, so perhaps DH needs to stop pressurising (coercing) OP into something she is not happy to do and work actively to keep his marriage going by investing in their emotional rapport?

Why do they need a reminder?
What happened to memory and imagination for heaven' sake?

He sounds infantile.

Yes, and will blame you for not sending pics!

I am obviously in a minority here as when my hubby worked away from home we did send each other nude pics. We felt it added some fun to a boring situation of him not being at home. But it was totally consensual! If you don't want to that perfectly OK. But I do wish people wouldn't say its weird, some of us find it fun!

@THisbackwithavengeance
Agree
Very true
Like it or not
( many women don't like sexless marriages either )
I've sent nudes - no faces
It really is such a little thing - but no one shout feel pressured
I'd rather dh looked at me than some random on Instagram

We have done this and it isn't unusual in our friend group, no faces ever though. However, you don't want to do it so that is the end of it. You should never be pressured and you have already said you aren't in a good place anyway so he should know better than to ask.

Plus putting their wives happiness and equality in the marriage at the absolute bottom of their list of priorities.

The OP says they're struggling to have quality time together but he's managed to find time to go away with a friend while the OP is at home with their children.

The other obvious question would be what's the split between them for childcare, cleaning, laundry, cooking and general running around and household management?

In a lot of cases women would have more time and inclination for sex if they weren't constantly drowning in the lion's share of everything that needs to be done at home while their husbands relax after a hard day at work.

Ugh

No chance. What a creep

@Garlicpest I hear what you're saying and I'm not suggesting she does something she actively doesn't want to do.

But sometimes you have to actively keep your sex life going as without that, you're just friends and coparents.

It's too easy to let it slide in the humdrum of housework, parenting and job.

But each to their own and if you'd rather get divorced or risk your DH finding someone else who IS interested in him then so be it.

We see this scenario all the time on MN where a couple haven't had sex or intimacy for months and then the DW is stunned and shocked cos the DH then gets it elsewhere.

Oh, well done, @THisbackwithavengeance. You got in really quick with "Women cause divorces by not providing sex services to their husbands".

Further examination would show that men cause divorces by treating their wives like unsatisfactory sex slaves, instead of being the kind of husband women love to shag often and eagerly. But don't put yourself out.

LTB because a man requested a naughty pic of his DW?

Ok then.

And I disagree with the general consensus.. I think a lot of couples exchange sexy photos regularly and willingly. You don't have to send a full frontal with your name and address on.

The issue here is that you don't want to and CBA. And that's your prerogative of course. But marriage takes work and effort sometimes and finding ways to keep the fires burning. Do not underestimate the importance of sex to men.

You only have to look at all the divorce and affair posts on here from women who did exactly that.

That's why you only do it with someone you completely trust.

No one should ever request or expect you to send nudes, including your partner, if you don't want to.
I have sent them to my DH in the past because I wanted to and I trust him completely.
Him requesting you to is creepy AF.

Ugh.

Real men don't ask for this. Especially from their partners who are home caring for their children. What an immature arsehole.

What exactly are his good qualities?

This would give me the ick. Eurgh what a grim fuck he actually is. How dare he sulk because you dont want to send him nude pics of yourself!

Hes a creep OP if your not gonna bin him off then you need to really tell him off. Hes actually disgusting

It's the inherent misogyny though isn't it. All the risk is with the woman if pictures get out - sextortion etc. It's just so thick to do it. We're trying to educate teens about the dangers of this, yet adults doing it. Beggars belief that anyone thinks this us ok. Naive or totally unaware of the dangers. Let alone his view towards women.

My DH is in SA this week working. Shit job, 12-14 hour days, court appearances and then home on a 12hr flight on Sat night. He also asks for pictures. Of the dogs… they make him laugh. The kids also send pics of the dogs and jokey memes. No nudes. Not ever.

I have never had a request for a nude pic from my husband (or anyone else for that matter) despite being away fairly frequently

Does he want you to send the photos so he can get excited at knowing he's made you uncomfortable?
Does he do that in other ways?

Totally Valid:
The evenings he has been away has been full of sorting the house, tidying up, finishing some work and enjoying an early night yo myself.

He on the other hand sounds like an arse. Why would you send nude pics? You’re not a misguided 19 year old.

It is not something I would be interested in doing. If he could not remember what my naked body looks like, then I am not going to send a photo for him.

I think there are deeper issues here and better to uncover the issues together rather than send a nude.

Never do this! Controlling and putting you in such a vulnerable position. What if yiu separate and he uses it against you? What if he loses his phone? Also, slightly more worryingly, is what on earth he thinks of women!