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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sister being a bitch because I have the flu

95 replies

RedPineapplePanda · 26/11/2024 13:05

I normally pick my nephews up from school a couple of times a week. Until recently I had a car and would get them then take them back home (too far for me to walk and crossing a busy duel carriageway)

Had to scrap my car and have occasionally walked to the school to get them - it's about a two mile round trip.

I came down the the flu (actual flu, not a cold - popped on a flu/Covid test) on Sat and have been feeling absolutely awful since. I've barely been out of bed!

She's was awful to me yesterday because I couldn't get them and has been nasty today too. Basically she thinks I'm putting on being ill or being soft/dramatic because she's had a cold and has still been going to work. I also have a chronic illness that makes me feel unwell so the flu on top has just made everything ten times worse.

Our mom is giving me a lift to the school tonight but aibu to tell sister to pack the attitude in?

OP posts:
PinkArt · 26/11/2024 14:50

MumonabikeE5 · 26/11/2024 13:11

well your sister is bang out of order to expecting you to collect kids when you are so ill.

(but 1 mile each way is a tiny walk.
you are supposed to aim for 10000 steps a day and 2 miles is about 4000. Less than half of a basic amount for health. )

You are 'supposed' to walk 10,000 thanks to a marketing campaign by a Japanese pedometer company. Just like you are 'supposed' to spend a month's wages on an engagement ring, that is 'supposed' to be a diamond, because of a De Beers campaign.
Walking is good for you but the mythical 10k figure was pulled out of a marketers ass!

thecatdidit · 26/11/2024 14:49

I've had flu once in my life and I couldn't even lift my head off the pillow, DH had to carry me to the toilet. You've probably got a very bad cold.
However, you really should be resting and not spreading your germs to your sister:s DC.
Your sister is dreadful expecting you to look after them,. I'd put my foot down.
Does she do massive favours for you in a reciprocal fashion?
Get well soon 💐

CandyLeBonBon · 26/11/2024 14:48

HoppityBun · 26/11/2024 13:56

When I’ve had flu I’ve been too ill to frig around on social media

I've had flu so bad I could hardly walk. I could lay in bed and write texts etc though. In between bouts of sleeping and sweating

Delatron · 26/11/2024 14:47

Good OP. Be very firm with her. She needs to pay for childcare like every other working person does.

It’s not your problem!

Original poster
RedPineapplePanda · 26/11/2024 14:42

Eraserbread · 26/11/2024 14:27

Okay, so you've done it this time, but I really do think you need to put some boundaries in place with your sister. She's obviously taking you for granted, despite all you do for her. What happens next time you're sick or have an appointment? She really needs to get some childcare sorted. She might appreciate what you've been doing more when she has to pay someone else to do it!

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Yep.

We're going to have a chat tonight because I'm totally fucking sick of her attitude.

OP posts:
RosieLeaf · 26/11/2024 14:42

RedPineapplePanda · 26/11/2024 14:40

Yes, they aren't together anymore.

The after school club finishes at 4pm so isn't much help!

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Then she needs to find and pay for an alternative provision, like a childminder, again - like everyone else does! Most working couples are not around for 4pm collections either.

Original poster
RedPineapplePanda · 26/11/2024 14:41

Picklewicklepickle · 26/11/2024 14:35

She needs to pay for after school club.

It only runs until 4pm.

OP posts:
Original poster
RedPineapplePanda · 26/11/2024 14:40

thepariscrimefiles · 26/11/2024 13:46

Is your sister separated from her children's father? Is that why he is refusing to help?

Does the children's school have an after-school club that they could go to? I understand that your sister's position is difficult, but you are doing her a massive favour collecting her children, so she is completely out of order with her behaviour towards you.

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Yes, they aren't together anymore.

The after school club finishes at 4pm so isn't much help!

OP posts:
Eraserbread · 26/11/2024 14:40

TeaAndTattoos · 26/11/2024 14:38

Did you miss the part where she said she has a chronic illness and has to cross a dual carriage way a 2 mile walk might be easy for you but you don’t know how difficult that is for op. Good on you for completely missing the point.

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It's Mumsnet. People always have to virtue signal about how healthy and active they are, even when there is absolutely no reason for it!

TeaAndTattoos · 26/11/2024 14:38

MumonabikeE5 · 26/11/2024 13:11

well your sister is bang out of order to expecting you to collect kids when you are so ill.

(but 1 mile each way is a tiny walk.
you are supposed to aim for 10000 steps a day and 2 miles is about 4000. Less than half of a basic amount for health. )

Did you miss the part where she said she has a chronic illness and has to cross a dual carriage way a 2 mile walk might be easy for you but you don’t know how difficult that is for op. Good on you for completely missing the point.

cantthinkofausername26 · 26/11/2024 14:37

MumonabikeE5 · 26/11/2024 13:11

well your sister is bang out of order to expecting you to collect kids when you are so ill.

(but 1 mile each way is a tiny walk.
you are supposed to aim for 10000 steps a day and 2 miles is about 4000. Less than half of a basic amount for health. )

You're missing the point entirely

godmum56 · 26/11/2024 14:37

MumonabikeE5 · 26/11/2024 13:11

well your sister is bang out of order to expecting you to collect kids when you are so ill.

(but 1 mile each way is a tiny walk.
you are supposed to aim for 10000 steps a day and 2 miles is about 4000. Less than half of a basic amount for health. )

have you ever had flu?

Picklewicklepickle · 26/11/2024 14:35

She needs to pay for after school club.

lawlessland · 26/11/2024 14:33

Your sister is absolutely taking the piss.

If she had a paid childminder she wouldn't get away with this shitty behaviour.

My initial reaction is to tell her to shove it. Being kind, I might give her 2 weeks notice to arrange childcare. Tell her it will permanently damage your relationship to keep this arrangement.

TheEllisGreyMethod · 26/11/2024 14:32

Unfortunately for your sister this Is the reality of relying on family for informal and unpaid childcare. If she wants reliable childcare she needs to organise and pay for it.
You have done her a huge favour and she’s taken the piss, I think the arrangement has come to an end

jannier · 26/11/2024 14:31

MumonabikeE5 · 26/11/2024 13:46

I didn’t suggest she walks now. My comment Was in response to her saying that since she had scrapped her car the 2mile round trip was too far to walk on a normal day.

obviously her sister is -as I said - bang out of order

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She also says she has another chronic illness

jannier · 26/11/2024 14:30

Tell her to start paying someone for professional childcare.

RosieLeaf · 26/11/2024 14:27

Your DS needs to leave work to get her own DC. I’d stop this all immediately, tbh. They are her issue to sort. She’s an ungrateful cow. It’s not your fault their dad isn’t involved.

She needs to pay for childcare like everyone else. Doesn’t matter she’s a single parent.

Eraserbread · 26/11/2024 14:27

RedPineapplePanda · 26/11/2024 14:25

It's a pre surgery assessment and she's been waiting months for it.

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Okay, so you've done it this time, but I really do think you need to put some boundaries in place with your sister. She's obviously taking you for granted, despite all you do for her. What happens next time you're sick or have an appointment? She really needs to get some childcare sorted. She might appreciate what you've been doing more when she has to pay someone else to do it!

Original poster
RedPineapplePanda · 26/11/2024 14:25

SeaToSki · 26/11/2024 14:21

Why cant your Mum cancel her appointment and look after her GC. Not ideal, but better than them coming to yours.

If the dc come to yours, they may well catch the flu from you and then your DSis will really be up a gum tree trying to work when her dc are home sick from school

It's a pre surgery assessment and she's been waiting months for it.

OP posts:
SeaToSki · 26/11/2024 14:21

Why cant your Mum cancel her appointment and look after her GC. Not ideal, but better than them coming to yours.

If the dc come to yours, they may well catch the flu from you and then your DSis will really be up a gum tree trying to work when her dc are home sick from school

Silvers11 · 26/11/2024 14:16

RedPineapplePanda · 26/11/2024 13:30

Unfortunately short of leaving them at school until sis finishes at 6pm I don't have a choice because Mom has a hospital appointment at 4:30, sister can't leave work early, and their dad has absolutely refused to help.

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Yes but you shouldn't be doing it. It's not your problem. It's your sister's! You are letting her (and your Mum) walk all over you!!!

Eraserbread · 26/11/2024 14:12

HoppityBun · 26/11/2024 13:56

When I’ve had flu I’ve been too ill to frig around on social media

I had flu that developed into pleurisy and pneumonia. Almost died, blue-lighted to hospital where I spend a month, and I could still use my phone and social media. I was actually shocked I was so ill! I mean, I couldn't make it up the stairs, or walk more than a few steps without almost passing out, but yep social media not an problem!

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 26/11/2024 14:11

MumonabikeE5
when she is well a 2 mile round trip doesn’t require a car.

She says "I also have a chronic illness that makes me feel unwell". Maybe a two-mile walk is always a bit much for her, or will be until she stops having a chronic illness, regardless of her currently having 'flu as well.

Irridescantshimmmer · 26/11/2024 14:09

Even when you have made a full recovery from flu, you can refuse to collect your sister kids from school becaus of her attitude to you whilst you were ill was astonishingly abrupt, callous and cruel. You did not ask for flu, it just happened so if you decide not to colect them again and your sister will have to collect her own kids from school.

Don't stand for any nonsense, she's taking advantage of you.

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