Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at my neighbour?

279 replies

PeachHog · 26/11/2024 11:48

Moved into a lovely semi detached, private rented, 18 months ago. Have 2 kids 7 and 10, it's fair to say that we've not been the quietest family. Like many we argue most days, kids play loudly, and we probably haven't been as aware of noise as we should have been. There's a single mother next door with a teenage daughter. DH put a dartboard up on adjoing wall a few weeks ago, however he didnt realise it would be heard by next door until we could hear her turn the music up whenever he was throwing darts.

However, this is what annoyed me - instead of coming to talk to us, she's went directly to the landlord to complain about the unreasonable level of noise and the dartboard! Landlord's now annoyed we didn't agree this with him first (we should have) and now im terrified we're at risk of losing our home. Aibu to think that even though we were in the wrong, she should have come to us first instead of going directly to the landlord? I had no idea she even knew him.

OP posts:
RoseJoker · 27/11/2024 10:19

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ElaborateCushion · 27/11/2024 10:16

katseyes7 · 27/11/2024 09:26

If it was that relentless, they’d be chucked back over popped 🤣
Technically, if l don't return them, it's theft. If l return them damaged, it's criminal damage.
But otherwise it's up to me when l give them back. I had another one over the fence last night. Pitch dark and raining, and they're still hoofing footballs about.

I'd be throwing them back over, hard, towards the house, their plants, their washing, them. If you hit or damage something - tough.

Or I'd be tempted to return them to them, in their wheelie bin on bin day for safekeeping - wouldn't want them blowing away, would we?!

I hope you manage to either move, or the boys grow out of football soon. That would do my head in.

Our next door neighbour (not attached either) has 3 kids. Other than a little bit of squealing when they're having a water fight in the garden in the summer, you wouldn't know they were there. They're such lovely, polite, kids.

vibratosprigato · 27/11/2024 10:02

I would always approach the neighbour first and would be really irritated if a neighbour went straight to the landlord. That said, have you made any effort to form a relationship with your neighbours such that they'd feel comfortable approaching you?

We've got new neighbours moving in next week and we'll be taking them a card/box of chocolates with our mobile number in case they need to ask anything/get in touch. I feel like it's important to get relationships off to the best start!

SundayDread · 27/11/2024 10:01

A woman on her own doesn’t want to confront a household with a man who argues loudly. I wonder why.

NavyOrca · 27/11/2024 09:36

notacooldad · 27/11/2024 08:31

Shit neighbours are shit people. House next door to me is going up for sale soon and honestly I am dreading it. Absolute dregs of society out there sometimes.

What a view on life!
I'd say it was pretty accurate.
We don't all live in lovely areas with respectful neighbours.
Many people have become selfish and self centred and dont give a shit for anyone else.
Of course there's lovely people about but there's also totally horrible ones as well.

Absolutely agree.

A couple of houses ago, we had truly terrible neighbours. After 5 years there, my mental health was in the bin. I can’t stress enough what an impact it had on me.

We’re in a lovely road now, and I dread the day any of our immediate neighbours decide to sell up!

katseyes7 · 27/11/2024 09:26

If it was that relentless, they’d be chucked back over popped 🤣
Technically, if l don't return them, it's theft. If l return them damaged, it's criminal damage.
But otherwise it's up to me when l give them back. I had another one over the fence last night. Pitch dark and raining, and they're still hoofing footballs about.

WhimsicalGubbins76 · 27/11/2024 09:15

Skyrainlight · 27/11/2024 09:05

Those balls would be going to the charity shop, no way I'd keep giving them back.

If it was that relentless, they’d be chucked back over popped 🤣

Skyrainlight · 27/11/2024 09:05

katseyes7 · 26/11/2024 13:43

I live next door to a couple with three boys.
I've been here ten years, the youngest wasn't born when l moved here, the others were small. Nice couple, we've never had a problem until recently.
Fast forward ten years, the past two years have been a nightmare, especially in the school holidays. Constant screaming, thudding footballs, for literally hours on end (and l'm not even attached to them).
I've come home more than once from work to find in excess of five footballs in my garden. I can't put washing out, or sit out there because of the noise, or the fear of being hit by a football.
I used to throw them back, but it got ridiculous. I'd throw five balls back, then they'd be back twice within an hour wanting one ball thrown back again. They used to ask if they could come and get them, but then just started coming into my garden when they felt like it.

I finally put my foot down, I said l'd throw back any balls that came over on a Sunday. Dad was in agreement, he said that they should appreciate that if a ball came over, they were 'gone' until l threw them back.
Three weeks running l took a bag with 5-6 footballs back to the parents. Fine, the first two weeks. Then they stopped answering the door.
From what l've counted, they have eighteen footballs. Half of them are still in inaccessible places in my garden (behind bushes, behind sheds) where l can't reach them. They stopped speaking to me, so l can't ask them to come and get them.
Yet when the kids went back to school in September, the mother posted 'I think l've gone deaf' on Facebook, so they're well aware of the noise.
We have a big green across the road from our houses. It's visible from our front windows, but they won't go over there.
I'm actually making plans (I'm in a rented place, they're owners) to move because of it. I don't think some people have any concept of how noisy they are, or how it impacts on other people.
They've been good neighbours over the years, l can't say otherwise. It's a shame.

Those balls would be going to the charity shop, no way I'd keep giving them back.

MagicSteaks · 27/11/2024 09:02

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Skyrainlight · 27/11/2024 08:55

"Aibu to think that even though we were in the wrong, she should have come to us first instead of going directly to the landlord? I had no idea she even knew him."

So if you had know she knew your landlord you would have got your family to behave better? Maybe you will learn from this and have some consideration for other people in future. If I was your neighbour I'd want you out.

Samesame47 · 27/11/2024 08:46

No you sound like neighbours from hell, you argue most days (not normal), your kids who are old enough to know better are loud and then you thoughtlessly stick a dartboard up on an adjoining wall. I’d be going to the landlord too and hoping he did get rid of you. If you share a wall then you should live respectfully of your neighbours

RoseJoker · 27/11/2024 08:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Onthesideofthespiders · 27/11/2024 08:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I’m sure the OP considers herself a totally normal family and good neighbour. She had to be told that it isn’t normal to shout at your spouse every day, or have your kids shouting or chuck darts at your neighbours wall…

Lots of people think they are great. They’re actually a bit shit.

Womblewife · 27/11/2024 08:37

Your neighbour doesn’t know you. She doesn’t know if you are aggressive, nasty or unreasonable - so she was sensible and went to the landlord.

you need to control the noise and manage your family life - a dart board is not helping to be nice to your neighbours !

RoseJoker · 27/11/2024 08:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

notacooldad · 27/11/2024 08:31

Shit neighbours are shit people. House next door to me is going up for sale soon and honestly I am dreading it. Absolute dregs of society out there sometimes.

What a view on life!
I'd say it was pretty accurate.
We don't all live in lovely areas with respectful neighbours.
Many people have become selfish and self centred and dont give a shit for anyone else.
Of course there's lovely people about but there's also totally horrible ones as well.

RoseJoker · 27/11/2024 08:08

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Lulu1919 · 27/11/2024 06:50

If next door have been there a while they may have had many neighbours in your home so I'd go to landlord too ...also I'd be wary of getting abuse etc if I did it direct.
Just apologise and try to be quieter..
Dart board ...on another wall or a door ....if you are good ..otherwise isn't there a chance of holes from missies darts ??

OverthinkingOlive · 27/11/2024 06:33

Shit neighbours are shit people. House next door to me is going up for sale soon and honestly I am dreading it. Absolute dregs of society out there sometimes.

RoseJoker · 27/11/2024 06:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

notacooldad · 26/11/2024 22:03

*Number 1, go and apologise to the neighbour.?
Number 2, get rid of the dartboard..
Number 3, get rid of the husband.
Peace is restored for all.
You forgot 4, teach the kids to play quietly in the home and also have consideration while playing outdoors for other people.

Tropicana46 · 26/11/2024 19:33

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 26/11/2024 19:28

Number 1, go and apologise to the neighbour.

Number 2, get rid of the dartboard..

Number 3, get rid of the husband.

Peace is restored for all.

Sounds like a plan.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 26/11/2024 19:28

Number 1, go and apologise to the neighbour.

Number 2, get rid of the dartboard..

Number 3, get rid of the husband.

Peace is restored for all.

Its2024happynewyear · 26/11/2024 19:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

That's the one - it's been a long day - 😂

RoseJoker · 26/11/2024 19:17

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.