I had a miscarriage last Wednesday and have been off work since. I tried to return to work today but saw that rather than my absence being stored separately as ‘pregnancy related sickness’, it’s been stored as normal sickness under menstrual disorders’. This means it will be on future references so will disadvantage me. I asked her about it and she said that she doesn’t think employers ask about sickness for references so it doesn’t matter. She then told me she was too busy to talk to me.
This follows her not being in contact with me while I’ve been off so not giving me any reassurance about returning to work and how things will be. When I felt unwell from ivf and requested to wfh, she said I couldn’t wfh just because I felt a bit ill (it wasn’t a bit ill, I felt really dizzy but could work if I didn’t have a commute).
Also, in my mid year review, she (having never discussed it with me) told me off because me and some coworkers were late for a train for a work trip and I ran on ahead and got on before them. She said that was sneaky of me but I thought we were all adults and responsible for ourselves? We all got on the train fine. In any case, you don’t bring up new information in mid year reviews.
She also puts me down when we’re alone and tells me my work isn’t good enough but will say my work is fine in front of other people. I think she gets off on saying what she likes when we’re alone.
I feel deeply unsupported and dismissed over my miscarriage. I can’t complain to HR because she is a senior HR worker and her best friend is head of HR. Another woman made a complaint about my boss being racist to her and she got her fired. I know it’s bad to quit but I can’t deal with her and nothing will change.