To refuse to host BIL, his family and untrained dog!

I really don't think you bear any responsibility.

It's on them to ask the question "can we bring our dog"?

And even then; if people don’t want it to come, it doesn’t come.

If one wants to visit people with a dog, the dog needs to be unimpeachable- beautifully behaved, well trained and quiet.

It would be a hard no from me as well OP.

Your BIL is seriously unreasonable for expecting you to let the dog into your home or onto your property where you have your own children and small pets.

Untrained, small animal killing dog stays home with someone or goes into kennels or doesn't come at all. It isn't rocket science.

YANBU AT ALL

Time to start complaining about out of control immigrant dogs being brought into this country!

These isn't. chance in hell I would ever agree to this.

Damn cheek of them after 17 years of you hosting too.

I would literally be prepared to even fall out over this and wouldn't give a fuck what DH thought either.

With people like your bil though, I wouldn't rule out them turning up anyway, so discuss this upfront with your dh @twogreentrees . I would be very clear that if they were to take one step into the house you would be gone - and bloody well mean it. This is one of those situations where you don't budge a millimetre!

People like your bil and sil really do make me feel rageful.

Maybe DD (dear dog) will do you all a favour if he comes chez vous Xmas day - escapes and makes a run for it back to Romania or wherever he came from!

@twogreentrees No way would I have this aggressive untrained dogin my house.
It’s a good way of making money ? Selling “Rescue “dogs from Eastern Europe to gullible people.
They bring in disease and parasites too.
plenty of U.K. dogs for rescue.

I'd actually be surprised if a dog like that would be OK with a 3 hour car drive. Could be totally overwhelmed before it even comes into your home.

Your BIL and SIL sound like bloody idiots. It's totally thoughtless to rehome a dog you can't cope with, they really should've done their homework before getting this one.

It's not one day as they want to stop over night, which makes it even worse imo.

You should've asked them to leave.

I assume the 1% who voted you are being unreasonable mean yabu for asking.
Outrageous request hugely entitled.
You have to inconvenience 3 animals and risk the lives of several others to accommodate their cfery, bad choices, and incredible stupidity.
It's entirely on them.

DH just needs to stand firm then. They have plenty time to organise their own Christmas at home this year. DH needs to make it very clear they are welcome without the dog, but you all understand if they’d prefer to stay home. (Tell PIL same, don’t let them guilt trip you)
Don't offer any more suggestions of how they might solve the problem. Just a simple “let us know by “X” date if you’ll be coming”

They have one dog, you have many pets - and it’s for one day. Unless they’re afraid their dog will trash the house if left home alone, they should leave him there for Christmas Day. It’s unreasonable for them to expect you to lock up all your animals and hope nothing goes wrong. BIL sounds horrible.

I'm so outraged on your behalf but more so on behalf of your own pets!!

We are currently dog-less, but our previous dogs have been sensible, gentle and well-behaved and could be trusted 110% with other animals, however tiny. However we wouldn't have dreamed of enforcing their presence in someone else's home.

I'm so glad you're not budging on this one, despite their manipulative emotional blackmail.

@twogreentrees Posted: "SIL is wet and just says she's sure it will be fine and he'll settle and all the animals will be fine."

I hope you make it known that the dog will NOT be coming into your house. No how and no way. I am betting they will just bring the dog and figure you'll capitulate. If you do, you and the rest of YOUR family (including pets) will be on tenterhooks, waiting for something to happen (and we ALL here in MN know something will happen). No one will enjoy themselves, except for your BIL and SIL, because it's quite clear they are clueless, along with both being dumber than a box of rocks.

YOU did not change any plans. They did, by adopting a dog, so they need to adjust their plans.

If they show up with the dog, tell them they can go right home, but make it quite clear beforehand that this will be what happens if they try it.

Out of the question for the dog to come. They need to have Christmas in their own home if they can't board the dog out or leave him for a few hours.

And easily countered in this case by 'No, I'm not, but what will ruin our children's Christmas is seeing our beloved animals torn to shreds by your untrained mutt'.

This is the hill I would be willing to die on.

The absolute cheek of your BIL to ASSUME that his pet is welcome in someone else’s home is so entitled it defies belief. And then saying you have ruined Christmas - clearly your family’s Christmas is fair game to be ruined but not his!

No, if your BIL wants his dog he is more than welcome to host Christmas. This level of selfishness would have me digging in my heels to the end of the millennium (and I am genuinely quite a mild mannered person but this would induce pure rage!).

You are, in no way, shape or form, the "baddie" here. In fact, you seem to be the only sane, stable, intelligent one in the mix.

The dog may be "fine' with people, until it isn't. Your pets should not be traumatized to suit two very selfish, idiotic people.

Solutions for THEM have been offered and rejected because they want YOU to capitulate. Do not, because it will not end well. "Their dog doesn't stay in kennels"? Well, neither does yours, nor your kittens, nor the ducks.

They chose the dog, they chose the consequences of that choice.

Not your circus, not your clown car.

“You’re ruining my children’s Christmas!” is actually one of the classic hallmarks of a Cheeky Fucker.

Unfortunately SIL in particular has spent many an hour regaling us with stories of how out of control their dog is around other animals and how many small animals he has caught and killed.

I must be quite intolerant as if she said this once to me I wouldn’t hold back. We have dogs, our dogs are trained but even then I wouldn’t expect them to go along to someone’s house. Seriously some people need to have a long hard look at themselves. I also wouldn’t have this unruly canine near children if it’s killing animals.

Read the title. Read two paragraphs.

Abso-fucking-lutely not. Not even up for discussion.

If anyone, anyone at all who is is even peripherally involved with this absolute shitshow of a feral predator is so utterly fuckwitted as to require an explanation, then "Christmas will be ruined if that creature kills all our pets and trashes our house, so fuck all the way off with that nonsense" covers it.

P.S. I am not anti-dog. Mine sleeps in my bed. But some dogs are arseholes.

Edited: I was being unkind to your DH and he doesn't really deserve it, that much. But, he still just needs to be firm and tell them "No".

If the BIL/SIL think THEIR dog is a part of their family, why he doesn't KNOW that his animals are also? He wants to displace, upset, and possibly hurt his family's pets and ducks, just so he doesn't have to stand up and for you all?

The SIL/BIL can get someone to take their uncontrolled "family member" out to potty, and they can drive home that night. They can buy their "family member" a crate for a present if it doesn't already have one.

P.S. Your SIL/BIL are twat waffles for even arguing and nagging about it.

No way would a dog that could attack and kill our family pets because allowed anywhere near my house. Your absolutely right. They decided to adopt the dog so need to deal with the reality that nobody will want it in there home.