Teenager wants to change their name

Sixteen-year-olds can do both in Scotland! Not saying it's a good idea, but they can do it.

:-). You are calling your son or daughter 'they' already.

People can call themselves what they like. I wanted to change my name as a child and a teenager, it's normal to feel like that.

I'd like to change mine now and disappear where no-one could find me! Some hopes of that but an old lady can dream!

I know someone who wanted to do this, he used the name as a nickname but eventually as an adult he made it official. That seemed a reasonable compromise but I can see the issue with things like GCSE certificates.

It was an example ffs.

Just that it's not that bad. As opposed to something like Hat which would be silly.

I think you're over thinking this. I generally assume a person with a strange name (if I ever find a name stranger) had it chosen by their parents so why would I hold it against them? And many places redact names etc during the hiring process to avoid unconscious bias (generally racial/cultural but I guess in 2024 and beyond, for "strange" names). It's not that serious, except assuming your feeling insulted they no longer want to use the name you chose for them, but don't dress it up as concerns about them getting a job. Your feelings are a valid discussion to have with them, the job thing is a nonsense

SUV?

DD legally changed her surname to mine on her 16th birthday by Deed Poll, so it can be done. All her GCSE's were taken in her new name and she is changing it on all medical records, passport etc as it is now her legal name.

Obviously you don't need to tell your DC this or pay for it.... the circumstances are slightly different if they want to be called "tractor" .

I am wondering what your reaction was when you son or daughter came up one day and asked you to call him or her "tractor" or "truck".
Did you simply say "no, I am not calling you that because that is utterly stupid" ?
Maybe that would have sufficed.

Relevance?

DD knows someone called Blaze.
Blaze was Felicity when they were at primary school. They’re still the same person and I think Blaze is a better name personally. I can’t imagine it will effect their job prospects in the great scheme of things

”When you are 18 you can organise yourself to change you name. Start saving now for any associated costs - because you will also need to organise and fund changing your name on your passport, driving licence etc.”

Dear me, so much pearl clutching on this thread. At 16 he can change his name regardless of mum’s opinion. What is the reason he wants to change, OP?

It’s a name, it’s hardly a life altering decision. If he wants he can always change it back.

Also I think your concerns are misplaced. We live in a global society these days where people have all kinds of names; furthermore, there is a trend these days for parents choosing unique/ original names for their children. It’s really not a big deal, and won’t affect interview prospects.

You can change your name without parental consent at 16.

Uber?

Lorry?

Forklift?

To add to my PP, many workplaces now do blind recruitment anyway to prevent accusations of age/ gender/ race/ social class discrimination.

There are many, many people with names which are not aging well. I used to process applicants after they had the job and all the Mollie Maes, Jaydens, Haydens, Braydens, Jaxons, Renesmees and Neveahs are now entering the workforce and will soon be followed by the Archies and Freyas. It's no different to all the Traceys, Marks, Keiths, Pamelas, Clives and Sheilas, they have no trouble being taken seriously but you immediately know what age they are before being introduced.

Is your surname Van, and your child wants to change their name to Karen?

There are so many wild and wonderful names these days that I don’t think it would hold them back professionally.
I know of a medical professional named after a chocolate bar and someone in the police force with a name that is a monarch title.

Lorry?

Diesel's just another surname-as-a-firstname thing. Like Jackson, Tyler, Walker etc.

Apologies @heldinadream this was a reply to you.

Assert your authority. Use their actual name. You’re the parent, you have that special position so take it. Let their friends call them whatever they want.

I'd be wary of having a different name on any official documents. My eldest has changed their name twice since 14. They are now at Uni and all their acceptance documents etc are in their preferred name.

Legally (like on their driving licence and electoral role etc) they are still their birth name.
I recently tried to apply for single person discount on council tax as they are still full time student although over 18. However I couldn't prove they were a student as all student docs are in their preferred name. It's a bit of a mine field. Will be same issue for things like GCSE certificates. if they decide to change their name again in the future - it will be very difficult to prove those GCSE's are theirs.

IMO Schools are to flippant with allowing pupils to change names on things like GCSE certificates without considering the implications later on.

@MagpiePi

I am assuming that because school and doctors are involved and that you are calling them they/them in your posts, then this also has something to do with magical gender woo, and so of course HAS to be taken seriously. 🙄

I just read it to mean school and doctors are using the name; as has OP been for 3 years.