Teenager wants to change their name

My brother's step children all changed their names from the "unique" Mumsnet type names to very traditional ones on starting secondary school. No regrets or difficulties-although it did upset their mother a bit.

Tell them it's fine to be known as Tank by friends, family, teachers etc but the legal name change has to wait until they're an adult. We all make decisions at 16 that we later realise were quite silly.

Have to say I would support this - you would seem to be fighting a losing battle and my own experience of supporting my kids as gender fluid teenagers is to keep your powder dry for the big disputes - as is useful with any offspring. Don't think that this name change need will go away and it is at least a name that the family already use, in your shoes I would be inclined to let the change go through.

Love this 😂

My d s would have loved a friend called Train or Plane at that age!

I have heard of a female called, "Nacho".

I work with a trans person and while her name on Linkedin is female, for some reason she left her male name on the CV. So looks like you can go by one name, but have a different one on a CV.

My 3 year old asked me why I didn't call him Book or House... it was an interesting conversation.. for a 3 year old.

Ugh, I changed my name to a ”cool” name when I was a teen, with full support of my mum.

I really wish she’d have acted like the adult and advised me against it, as it caused me so much trouble.

When I (inevitably) became embarrassed about it as an adult and had it changed back, I continued to have to reference it as an “also known as” name with dates, and keep a paper copy of the evidence. It was ridiculous.

You have to be the adult here.

Why wouldn't they be able to "work out the admin". We printed off deed poll forms. Had them signed by 2 witnesses. Took them into the bank/Dr's surgery. Had to upload them when applying for DBS. Sent them to DVLA when applying for provisional licence.

None of which is remotely complicated. 8ish

I would wait until 18 so that the admin it involves falls to them. I say this as a mum who had to change her child's name by deedpoll it's a pain in the arse initially.

Oh just ignore it! When I was 15 I wanted to change my middle name to Beyoncé 😂 I was serious! There’s two years not to worry about it.

Had a dog called Tank, was the biggest fattest puppy in the litter and climbed-over pushed away the others to get to mum or eat.

So bulldozer of a puppy is my image of Tank.

No, I'd probably think it was a pink-haired woke being.

if theyre changing their name it would match their deed poll as it shows what you're changing from, i applied to uni with a levels that didn't match my name, just had to send in deed poll showing the name change, wasn't an issue.

But OPs child wants to change it officially. They will have a deed poll document. That's all we have ever shown as proof.

There are all sorts of let's say unusual names out there. They've had the name for three years so are pretty fixed on it. I'd consider suggesting making bus/skateboard/pogo stick/other means of transport their middle name. That'll future proof them a bit. If they get fed up of the idea in adulthood they can ignore their middle name altogether, or if they want to maintain the name they'll use their middle name, like lots of people do.
That is a compromise where you've listened to your child and met them halfway.

Exactly this 😂 they will either grow out of it or not be able to work out the admin/logistics!

I feel for you though OP sounds like a silly phase.

Probably right to leave it until 18 but I think people should really be 21+ to change names. If you give any advice remind them that all future jobs asking for exam certificates or requiring DBS checks will see the name change and require proof of the legal change but that there's no such formalities required for them to simply ask to go by a certain nickname at uni/work

You have proof of marriage certificate.
Just changing names on A levels or GCSEs on a whim with no proof means they aren't your certificate.

No more hassle than changing surname on marriage

I work in education and it is such a pain to prove qualifications with name changes. If GCSE certs don't match passport or deed poll they won't be accepted into college or uni.

Support her in changing her names to Teresa Anne Nicole Katherine.

I have changed my name four times, it makes little difference to these things.

'Chisel' - what a tool!

She is the exact opposite of the kind of image that a tank brings to mind.
It is obvious there are some underlying issues here that are driving this decision.
Quite frankly, I think she is doing it to aggravate you.
What does the father say?

I’m guessing the child in question has other issues and the name isn’t their only concern?

It sounds as if there’s a fair bit of confusion going on here. I’d try and remain supportive of the broad context of finding oneself and creating one’ own identity whilst still retaining their core self. Do they understand that changing your name doesn’t change your self?