Teenager wants to change their name

I still have a tattoo I got as a teenager I thought the design was a great idea at the time..yeah it was a bad idea..

Legally, in UK they can change their name by deed poll without your consent

OP, prevaricate like crazy about changing the name before GCSE. Eventually in life you don’t have to show your GCSE certificates often, but Tank will probably change their mind by the time they are 20 so keep GCSE stuff in their current name.

Have you shown her the episode of Friends where Phoebe changes her name to Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock?

Also have you raised with her the concern that he friends might give her the nickname "Septic"?

I actually really like "Tank" as a name.

If it was "Latrine" or "Hedgerow" I would have reservations, but Tank is good.

Hi Op, I’m sure you’ve Googled and probably so has your child. They can legally change their name for 16, I was a family law paralegal and Deed Polls were part of my job. I did have a girl visit me on her 16th birthday to change her name from something to her grandma’s name instead which I thought was very sweet. I also had an older guy who was dating someone very well to do and wanted to make his name sound posher before he met her parents!
I’m sorry that this is the other way and falls into the category of nice name to silly name (which I have heard of but not done one myself yet!). If they are willing to compromise and wait until 18 then hopefully they grow out of it in that time. I’m afraid this is just one of those things that will probably be done eventually with your support or not.

Nickname, ‘known as’ for now. Adult at 18, can do it if they pay for it.

At 16 I'm afraid it's their choice, not yours. They can change it without consent.

Ultimately it's their life. They can always change it back later if they want.

And I've interviewed people with all sorts of weird names. It's increasingly common in younger generations.

We had a teacher called Mr Way. He was always known as "Milky": I don't think he changed his name to "Milky", though

You are meeting them half way by using it within the family. They can change it officially when they are 18 if they still wish to.

Does the child have an obsession with these objects? That could be an explanation.

My daughter hated her middle name as a teenage, I was upset because it’s my middle name and the name of both her grandmothers and my grandmother. It’s not old fashioned ok not a first name, I would have used it if it was, but a middle name is fine. But she was adamant she wanted to get rid.

I suggested she wait until she was 21, prepared to except at 18 she would probably do it, but trying to push for longer.

18 came and went then 21, she still doesn’t like the name, but had said she understands the family history and has decided to live with it.

OP is the name really Tank? Isn't anyone else confused that the first post guessed it right?

This. This is perfect.

This, you need to be the adult here and try and limit the ridiculousness that children try and bestow upon themselves.

Nothing wrong with being known by a different name than their legal name, but you wouldn't want them to do something that they will really regret in the future.

I'm sorry but the name Tank is ridiculous and all those posters who are saying its fine, are being ludicrous, it isn't fine, and everyone who meets your DD when she is older will think she is ridiculous. She's just trying to be a cool "look how unique I am" teenager, which is fine when it doesn't have lifelong implications. Good luck OP, hang tight with the definitely not before you are 18.

Personally I would have nipped this in the bud 3 years ago and refused to call them by that name, and have told them to stop being a moron, and for what it's worth, our DS2's legal name is Isaac but he is known by Zac. I am happy to call him that because at least it is an actual normal name.

A longer and more responsible Google, and reference to a fairly recent MN thread that went into this in a lot of detail, would reveal that the circumstance where you can get an exam certificate reissued with a new name are vanishingly small. The issue of a Gender Reassignment Certificate being the only one where it applies.

Another Tank Girl fan here, originally drawn by Jamie Hewlett who went on to do Gorillaz.
Can't you just deluge them with merch this Christmas. There's an amazing reprint door poster out there and the book and watch the film. Add in a few second hand vinyl with limited edition prints of the Senseless Things with the same artwork.
Totally embrace and say you got distracted it was more fun than chasing forms.

The gender issue aside - it not about that you love her name.

We spent months trying to find a name which worked for us, we had a huge list and culled and added for weeks before even coming up with a short list.

We still love the name on DD's birth certificate. She doesn't. She chose a name I don't really like a lot but strangely enough, it suits her. I had to put my feelings aside as I don't own DD or her name.

Compared to others on MN I don't believe that being gender fluid or trans is the work of the devil so I would support my child. DD did question herself around the age of 14 but it was linked to other things she had to deal with and it felt questioning her gender (she knows very well that biologically she is female) felt she was in control about her body.

Could she reject being sterotype female with her body shape and then a very feminine name on top?

A sibling has just changed their name and gender in middle age.
Except without an attention to detail effort they left out a key point and now have
Formally known as xx formally known as xxy now known as YY. All this form filling and money has not given the 'stunning and brave' response from the admin people they were looking for.

Hmm. Having seen you have said that they have been using this name for the last 3 years I think I would actually consider letting them do this if it is really important to them. I can understand that you are more concerned by the name chosen than the change itself. But 3 years is a long time to have changed their mind if they were going to.
HOWEVER a quick Google has shown that you can apply for exam certificates to be re issued in your new name retrospectively if you have evidence of a legal name change.
So I'd maybe double check that with someone other than Google, but if that is relatively straightforward then you could reassure them that they could amend it later.
Also no one actually reads your exam certificates do they? Eg you don't attach copied to a CV, just the results?

Come on, you know you are now going to have to share the name with us... 😉

Very wise words.

Yes, most of us did something a bit mad at 16. Parents are there to try to prevent as much of it as possible - or at least the damaging stuff.

Unless the name was, say Cockwomble, it wouldn't stop me interviewing them. Actually, I might interview a Cockwomble just for the lulz.

Yes, same here. And my DS2 is 16.

DS1’s friends, partner, partner’s parents all call him by his nickname, as did high school teachers and uni tutors. Think ‘Mike’ instead of ‘Michael’. His passport, bank account, degree cert all say ‘Michael’.

In your DC’s case, I’d say it’s fine for your mates to use a different name and to put that name on the back of sports hoodies etc. But you can’t change it legally until you’re 18. And if you want to do it then, you have pay the fee and sort it out.

If they have the attitude that it’s going to be someone else’s problem and not theirs, they will soon realise it is indeed their problem. Maybe somebody would employ someone called Wardrobe or Radiator but I doubt it.

Let them do it at 18 as you’ll have no choice, but I’d have no more conversations about it personally.