That DH needs to lower his gift expectations?

Here is a hint: you can’t fill the gaping hole in his soul with material goods. He is already trying on his own and can’t do it.

Oh crikey! Your husband sounds very hard work!
From your little children, I would maybe get some finger paints and a blank canvas (from Hobbycraft or similar) and make their handprints into a picture. It's a unique gift and worth more than money. If he complains that this is not enough, let him know that he will realise one day, when his tiny children are grown and their hands are much bigger, that this captured a precious moment in time and should be one of his best presents ever!
If that seems not enough, then how about getting your children's fingerprints captured in special clay and have imprint jewellery made - cufflinks, dog tag, key ring etc. Same principle but a bit more of a gift if he's that way inclined.

Or how about an old record he used to love but get it on vinyl.

Or a voucher for a family photoshoot. A few ideas but hopefully with his family more at the centre.

Good luck !

It's my birthday today, I've had a card off DH. We are at a stage in our life that we can buy what we want when we want, so I can't see the point of buying something just for the sake of it. If there was something that i wanted I would have bought it myself let DH know.

He sounds very childish.

I do think he's in the wrong. He moaned she hadn't made an effort when she clearly had. He is well off, can buy whatever he likes, and gets to spend long periods away while OP does all the domestic and childcare work, yet he gets in a huff about not being given enough material things or having enough effort made? That's the behaviour of a massive dick.

How about experiences that you can do as a family? A family portrait? Things that are nice for the whole family and not just him (he seems to see to his own needs just fine). Mug or travel mug with artwork for Daddy by your children? You can also get things like towels (for gym) overprinted with family photos or artwork. Wean him off into homemade/locally sourced rather than designer brand as being more special/unique.

Wouldn't it be a good wheeze to have a great family outing each year for his birthday?

He’s being ridiculous. That said, maybe an experience gift would be better so you don’t clutter your house (and this earth) with junk he doesn’t need?

He sounds like a spoilt 12 year old boy who wants ALL the tech and ALL the designer gear, in the body of a selfish tosspot manchild.
Highly unattractive.

It sounds like you're incompatible, probably in other ways too
I don't think he's wrong or you're wrong, you just have different priorities

I cannot imagine a grown man caring about what he gets for his birthday... I mean, I'm only 25 and I don't give a shit if I get gifts or not! It's the thought that counts more than anything.

For kids presents for their Dad, you bring them into some shop - a bookstore/sweet shop - something cheap and cheerful and ask them to pick a present for their dad. Bought with the budget of a 4 yo and something they picked out all by themself.

Get some lovely food and drinks in, snuggle up on the sofa with him and watch BUY NOW on Netflix together.

Give him a gift card and tell him to buy his own bloody presents. Sounds like a spoiled child!

I agree, let the kids choose something from a cheap shop/school fair.

From you :- a spa day/break for two (or a break somewhere you’d like to go if u don’t fancy a spa) with you arranging baby sitting. Pick luxury spa or luxury hotel.

If he moans that it’s for you tell him you’d have been happy with a basic place, but you know he likes the best. 😉

He needs to grow up. My birthday is in Dec if I want something that badly I buy it. Instead of feeling disappointed why doesn’t he plan his own birthday instead of putting pressure on you every year.

I think you need a conversation together about what a 'good' birthday and what a 'good' Christmas look like for both of you bearing in mind:

-it should be equal budgets for both of you
-it should be equal effort from the organiser
-you basically both already have everything that you need
-both need to be reponsible for getting each other something 'from the kids'

I'm in a similar situation with DH in that for clothes, books etc we are at a time of life where we like very specific things and if we want them we can just buy them. I am not going to buy him shirts as honestly he has masses of shirts and if I did, they would somehow be ever so slightly the wrong shirt.

We gave up and focus on time spent together instead. This year neither of us could think of physical gifts for birthdays so we went to the theatre instead.

Get him this...
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Nothing-person-who-has-everything/dp/B00N87ATOE/ref=asc_df_B00N87ATOE?mcid=20f73bdc00de36169bba24fcb64059b3&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=697230626092&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2577269141854211925&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007326&hvtargid=pla-451054559034&psc=1&gad_source=1

I think it is! She used up a favour from MIL to get overnight babysitting and spent the night in the hotel.

I would suggest you plan a weekend in paris for you both. Leave nothing for Christmas. And tell him it is from bith the children.

This. How unattractive that a grown man acts like a 12 year old.

I'd ask if he's 12, but actually I wouldn't accept that sort of CF entitlement from a 12 year old, let alone a grown man.

I take my kids to go to Tiger and let them choose something funny for DH.

Your DH is being a bit spoilt and silly though.

I'd give my teenage son short shrift if he spoke to me like that about a birthday, let alone my husband. He is a dick and needs to grow the fuck up tbh.

I agree something "from the kids" is probably quite a nice thing to do but needn't be more than a bar of favourite choc or whatever. How much "stuff" does he need? If the reason you are upsizing is to house his designer wardrobe id think about an instant way to lose 13 stone instead.

A voucher for his birthday and a block of coal for Christmas - that's what ungrateful kids would get here. Has he always been this much hard work?

If he's sad about the kids not giving him a gift then it's a home made macaroni picture of dad with extra glitter, and some painted pasta shell cufflinks to wear with his new shirts op!

Buy him a ticket to dumpsville.

Are you married to Dudley Dursley?