Would you have had another child?

I’m happy with what I’ve got, and thankful that they are healthy and that I’m relatively unscathed after some complicated deliveries.

So an element of not chancing our luck, and an element of life already being complicated enough.

Honestly, I’m selfish, I enjoy having some time to myself and I am very worried about the risk to my physical and mental health.

I wanted 3 for a few years, but am so happy we stuck with two. I feel I can give them enough. I love having two. My Dh also really didn’t want another, so I’m glad we didn’t.

Have 2, and no change in circumstances whatsoever could have made me want more. Maybe a lobotomy.

I would have liked at least one more - ideally lots more! - but I had my first at 31 and wasn't into the whole 'ooh look at me, I've got 3 under 3' crap so kind of ran out of time and energy. And money.

The good thing is that we've been able to afford lots of opportunities for the DC that we couldn't have done with more children, on our wages. We've been able to create a home that's happy and reasonably stress free because of the financial security of fewer children than i would have liked.

Possibly if I could have private healthcare all the way through so I could actually be treated like a human being rather than utterly dehumanising and traumatic pregnancy and birth I went through on the NHS.

I would have had 3 if I'd had a lot more money and not have to work and if I'd started earlier!

@Silenus

Its pretty mind-blowing isn’t it? That identical genes and environment produce such radically different outcomes. A testament to the power of the human soul. My sister and I are completely and utterly different from one another.

I have one but would have loved another. We have just given up on that dream as I have to go back on meds for a chronic health condition which I've not been able to take while TTC/pregnant and then TTC again. We have been trying for over 18 months for DC2 but it just hasn't happened - I am early 40s now so we were lucky to have one I think. If I had met DH earlier then we both would have liked 4 but that's just how it turned out!

I would have liked 3 children but it took 6 years to conceive my first, I had 2 miscarriages and have had 2 C- Sections and both of my boys have additional needs, added to the fact I'm now 42 and my boys are 7 and 10 I think I'd be crazy to try for that 3rd, I'm happy where I am.

Maybe if the first had been conceived when we first started trying I might have had one more. I also have an adult stepdaughter and a grandchild so my family is full and busy enough

If I had lots more money and bigger house, I wouldn't have wanted another though I wouldn't have been distraught if it happened.

I agree, actually. Also happy with my one, but you’re right, would be very interesting to see how different or similar a second child with the same parents turned out. I have four siblings, and we’re very different in some ways.

Hmm it's interesting. I think if we'd had more money when ours were pre-school it's very likely we'd have had a third to have had a shot at raising both sexes. But now I have the hindsight of having teens I think that would have been misguided, my reasons for not having a 3rd now are less about finances and more about time, I really value hands on parenting, spending 1:1 time with them individually all of which would be much harder with 3, plus I just don't care about raising both sexes anymore because I value my kids for their personalities not their sex (or colour of their clothes, as I did a bit back then 😂).

Who knows when mine are adults I might have changed my mind again, but you just have to remember you make the right decision at the time and that's what matters, even if things change.

George Clooney playing baby daddy and an army of nannies. Even then I’m not convinced it’s for me… I have one.

In an ideal world I would probably have wanted two. In the event I didn’t conceive my DD until I was nearly 39 and then within three years of her birth my marriage had disintegrated so it wasn’t on the cards.

To be honest I am now quite glad I didn’t have another: Supporting my DD as a single mum with no support was tough but manageable with one but would have been a nightmare with more. I was able to get my life back reasonably quickly without impacting my career and my DD and I are very close and I am able to afford things for her which would be off limits if I had two or three. So I am very happy with how things turned out and have never felt the lack of more children.

I suppose the only thing I would have liked is the difference you get between two children with the exact same gene pool. I have always found it fascinating that children with the same parents and the same upbringing can turn out to be so different and from the intellectual curiosity standpoint I would have liked to have seen how that worked out.

But obviously this isn’t a good reason to bring another child into the world and I am very happy with one.

Honestly? I'd be so, so happy to have a houseful of babies and children. Being a mum is my favourite thing in the world.

But that wasn't realistic - we both need to work full time just to afford the 3 we have, we'd need a bigger house, reconsider the car, etc - and it isn't a happy marriage. I didn't want to have children with different dads (no offence meant to anyone that does, there's nothing wrong with it, I just wanted my children to all be full siblings... and for me not to have to deal with an ex as well as a current partner).

So for me to have had more children I'd have needed a lot more money and a magic wand to fix a broken relationship.

No. I don't have the headspace for more, and my perineum lacks the elasticity required.

Happy with my 2. 3 would be too much and 4 you couldn't pay me to have that large amount.

I stuck at 2 because they both slept OK and I didn’t want to push my luck. It’d be nice now to have had 3, but for that to happen the first two years would have to be a lot easier.

At the time, I would have considered it - but we took the decision that it was too much of a risk. I had a miscarriage between the two we have; DC1 was born at just over 37 weeks, (I spent 10 days in hospital after my waters broke at just over 36 weeks), and DC2 came at 36 weeks, after my waters broke - so a combination of both of those made us decide not to.

Looking back, I'm glad we didn't, as the cost (and potential upheaval - i.e. longer off work/less pay, bigger car, maybe needing to move, etc) would have been a definite burden back then.

Hard work pushing that one out!

We have 5 and if we had a bigger house, more money etc we'd have liked more. However, after 3 c-sections and being in our 40s, we're done but absolutely delighted with our brood.

Yes we planned to have 3. But. DD1 turned out to be autistic so we didn't.

Yes. I have 3, but I would have liked 4. I lost my job after number 3 and had to retrain and start in a new industry, so a 4th pregnancy and maternity leave wasn't possible. By the time it was possible I was mid 40s so too old.

I have two and struggled to conceive, 3 years for the first and 4 years for the second. If I found it easy then I would definitely have had a 3rd and possibly a 4th!

Saying that I did become pregnant very unexpectedly when my youngest was 4 months old but it ended up being ectopic so I very nearly had my third.

I couldn't put us through actually trying for a third though so my dh had a vasectomy.

I have 2 and would have loved at least one more but didn’t turn out that way…I blame Covid.