Would you have had another child?

Same here. I'm lucky to survive a second one. The second pregnancy felt like that I had stolen 9 months from my first child as I wasn't able to function for the duration of my pregnancy physically first and then mentally.

We have two DC. We are both the middle of three and we agreed we would never put another child in that position so it was stop at 2 or have 4 which we simply couldn’t afford. Instead I went to uni and had a great career..

I daydream sometimes about how many kids I'd have with no contraception. Probably about 10. Weird thought and I've no idea why it appeals, it's just a fantasy of a giant mansion and armies of staff.

I have 2, and we've stopped there because DH (who is an excellent hands on dad who does half the child care) doesn't think he'd cope well with more. Had I been a SAHP, I think we'd have had three or four.

Yes.

If I had met my partner earlier, then yes, but I was engaged for four years to a man who announced, just before our wedding that he had changed his mind and didn't want children ever.

I knew I would become angry and resentful so I walked away which was tough, and started again.

I have 3, and happy with that, but i’d have had shorter age gaps is circumstances permitted. I have 14yrs between eldest and youngest, and have been doing the school run for 26yrs and I am so over it

No. We debated long and hard about having a third but I’m pleased we didn’t. Not just for financial reasons but also because I just don’t think I’d be cut out for it - I can’t bear mess and noise!

we stayed at a friends’ house recently, they had four children, and even though they live picture-perfect lives with money, a big house and domestic help, I couldn’t help but notice that it was still pretty chaotic and that our friends were still super calm and tolerant as parents - something I think we’d struggle with!

No. Did it once, never again. Loathed the whole pregnancy experience more than I like children.

Two is perfect. Wouldn’t have had more whatever the circumstances. Even the super wealthy families mostly still have two or three. The most insanely wealthy international family we know have 3.

Started late and struggled to conceive. Had two close together and it was very hard work. But if we had been younger I would have loved another two.

Exactly the same here. We have 3 and I think would have tried for a 4th if finances and housing were different.

Had a boy followed by a girl in my twenties. I wouldn't have another if someone paid me!
It has been hard working full time, being there for both of them, having time to do things with them, keep the house ticking over etc.
My eldest is 18 now and obviously doesn't 'need' me in the same way that a child does but they still need a lot of support whilst they learn to be an adult.
I think people would potentially have more children if we parented like people did in the past, when 14 year olds were considered independent and old enough to work full time. I think we support our children until much later in life than we ever have and it doesn't leave much energy for large families!

Had one, money not a problem would probably do the same again. I don’t have the bandwidth for more.

Nothing would make me want to have more.

We have 3 and debated a 4th. We came to the correct decision not to put my body through a 4th pregnancy. I am on a weight loss journey and trying to carve out some time for myself. The complications in my pregnancies have increased in severity. In my first 2 pregnancies I had a stillbirth risk, with dd2 there was also a stillbirth risk and a threat to my life. I've learned I would have been pushing my luck. It came down to me wanting to be present for those that I already have and to be in the best shape. If I didn't have complications and not had 3 sections I would have considered it. We have girl, boy, girl. Neither of us have gender preferences and we wanted a 3rd just because, both of us enjoy parenting and our dd2 is joyful.

I have one. I would have one more if my partner was more supportive and helpful (and much less selfish).
Possibly if my parents were more interested.

As it stands, even if I won the lottery I wouldn't have another with the life I have.

We stopped at 2, simply because of the cost. Every time we had a child, it took until they started school to financially recover (due to childcare costs of us both working fulltime). We live comfortably now with our 2. If they need new clothes, money for school trips or days out, we don't have to think twice. I'm one of 4 and my parents lived in absolute poverty. I never wanted my kids to experience that. If money was no object, sure. I'd probably have had 3 or 4!

Why do you want to know and what are you going to do with the information that people provide for you? What is your AIBU?

I have 3 and 1dsc
Wouldn't change it

I have two, and had to wait until my career / finances were at a point where we could manage.
I wanted more, maybe 3 or 4 in total.
But two periods of mat leave close together took a financial toll, and we bought a house etc. We just couldn’t afford it. I couldn’t fathom how we would make it work, financially. How we would afford another period of mat leave. How we would pay for a bigger car, more crippling nursery costs etc etc.
I was desperate for a third, but by the time we felt financially able to try again I was just over 40 and it never happened.
The really frustrating thing is we were just a very few years away from being really high earners, but by that time, I couldn’t get pregnant. I still yearn for another.

I have 3 and would’ve loved a 4th but I was 37 by then and had terrible SPD which got worse with each pregnancy so didn’t think I could physically go through it again. Also it would’ve been a pain to fit 4 in a car.

@PerditaLaChien there's a sweet spot I think, we had children mid 20s but going for a 3rd felt like a risk when we weren't more financially established, as it happened we went on to do well and now we are financially comfortable we wouldn't want to go back to baby rearing, but then I suppose if we'd have had 3 chances are we wouldn't have established our careers as we have. Sorry that was a lot of "haves".

We have a lot of money but like a lot of people, we left it later than we should have. I was already mid thirties after DC2, and having had a few miscarriages and a complex pregnancy, we were high risk for still birth & other issues. It wasn't worth it.

We need to normalise having our families at a better point in our fertility - mid/late twenties is a healthier time to produce children than mid/late thirties.

I have noticed that with a lot of my friends who have 3 kids, the first two are normally the same gender, none of them ever admit to it, but I'd love to see stats, families that have 2 kids always seem to have one of each sex!

I have two and would have loved at least 2 more. However then exh left and had several more kids with his new partner. I didn't meet anyone else and now too old. something i will always feel sad about