To tell him he left the light on again

The thing to consider is what do you want to gain by telling him. This has been going on a while so telling him, particularly at night isn't going to make him remember, it's just going to make him feel bad.

@knickerlessnicholby
For some one who posted that this was a " trivial " issue you seem heavily invested in the thread. Including it obviously important enough for you to insult me.

I cannot believed you apologised to him, wtf? He should have apologised to you. Sad to see men getting the upper hand all the time.

Policing light bulbs is a feminist issue!

Get a smart bulb and put it on a timer. Or it can be turned off on an app. Problem solved.

because of what it says about the person who behaves like that as much as the waste

It says to me that you are bonkers!

If I genuinely knew he was awake, yes. But not if he was sleeping or wasn't sure he was awake.

So irritating that you'd bring it up at 3am though?

What? @pain1nthearse You are NOT being unreasonable and I cannot believed you apologised to him, wtf? He should have apologised to you. Sad to see men getting the upper hand all the time. What you did wrong was by not nipping it in the bud earlier and waking him a long time ago. What he is doing is selfish to the neighbours, costs money, bad for environmental reasons etc, and you caved?!? Wtf, no!

That was quite a nasty argument you had, what with your DH stomping off downstairs. Is your marriage happy in other ways?
I get really irritated by lights being left on too, also by loo seats left up, and I sometimes think DH would not keep doing it if he wasn't also irritated with me...

I think it’s a generational thing as much as anything. Back in the day of 100 watt bulbs it was relatively expensive to leave lights on. Nowadays with an LED light you’re really not saving very much by turning it off every 2 minutes. At 7 to 10 watts, which is what these things usually are, even left on for 10 hours a night it’d take almost 2 weeks to use one kWh of electricity - which is 25p. So maybe you’d save £10 a year compared to leaving it on…but maybe the constant switching on an off would shorten the life of the bulb, so who knows! Back in the day you’d be talking the equivalent of 25p a night, or almost £100 a year, so it was rather more wasteful…hence some of our parents obsession with turning lights off.

It would irritate me because of what it says about the person who behaves like that as much as the waste : it says that person doesn't give a damn.
When you live with somebody actions and behaviours that seem small and inconsequential to an outsider all add to feelings of incompatibility. And this would be one of the actions that would be part of a pattern of incompatibility for me.
I talking here from.a purely personal point of view. I'm not saying OP or anyone should feel the same.

Oh, don't be daft. It's a lightbulb that costs pennies a month to run - it's nothing remotely worth fighting over.

People on MN seem to take life far too seriously sometimes.

But it doesn't inconvenience anyone if he's left the light on?

An energy saving light bulb costs 2p per full day. Get a hold of yourself.

What!? 🤣

Just turn it off yourself.

Haven't read the whole thread but just saying did you know you can buy motion activated lightbulbs? They're really handy in hallways and landings where you're often passing through with your arms full but would be just the job for your husbands study.

I don't see why OP and her DH need to squabble over it either. I find it difficult to believe a grown adult can't switch a light off when he leaves a room. This shouldn't be an issue but he is making it one by his childish behaviour.

Op that’s not how mn works. You’re supposed to stroppily argue the toss, threaten to flounce, come back and argue more then ask mnhq to delete the thread!

you’ll get nowhere bring reasonable like that!

Install a smart light and set it turn off at bed time/when he tends to be done using his office?

I find they learn pretty quickly when you wake them up to go & turn it off themselves

I don't understand the number of pp who don't see leaving the light on when it's not needed as just totally wasteful.

It IS totally wasteful. But it's totally wasteful of just about nothing, especially with contemporary bulbks. At least find something significant to squabble over!

Honestly, causing tension and arguments about leaving lights on is a little petty. And having someone 'tell you off' for doing it must be pretty annoying and probably makes him feel like a child.

My DH is forgetful and leaves lights on too. He doesn't do it on purpose and just forgets. I did used to mention it to him when I discovered he had done it yet again, but always picked my moments and wasn't funny about it or stroppy about it with him. He still did it! Now I just make it my task to go round the house at bedtime and make sure all lights are off. Yes I do feel like his mum sometimes!! 😂But if he does still leave one on now I just let it go. Its really not a big enough deal to me to bother me that much.

If your DH comes to bed after you, and that is when he is leaving it on, could you write a note somewhere where he will see him to remind him to turn it off? If it were me and my DH I would have made it a jokey note and it would become a bit of a joke between us so not to make too big a thing of it and he would take it as such.

He wouldn't leave his car lights on every night.
Why? Because that would drain the battery and inconvenience him.

He doesn't switch off the light because he only cares about himself.

Very inconsiderate.

Problem solved
ad for disturbing neighbours I think going from darkness to a light switched on is more disturbing than a constant light

nobody takes well to being patronised and told off in the middle of the night 1/2 asleep
tbh think his reaction was pretty mild