Aibu to impose these restrictions on kids phone

It makes sense. I allow my daughter to have it in the morning when getting ready as sometimes she gets ready with her friends. It's very cute.

The thing is screen time can creep up so easily and 2.5 hours sounds a lot but if she's picking it up and putting it down it won't feel like 2.5 hours sounds I'd see how that one goes and adjust as necessary. I'd also allow situations where it can be extended. When we first had the phone, her friend was going through some serious stuff and I didn't mind relaxing the limits to ensure if she was needed, she was there.

As well as sometimes getting ready together, they also play Xbox together or just sit and chat in the evening. This over the day could easily take 2 hours and not leave room for much else, such as homework apps or talking to me when I'm not there but it's safer than them being out in the dark. My point is that you should try it, adjust where required and not be black and white.

Similar restrictions here for our 12 yo although WhatsApp or Roblox and screen time ends earlier. I'm always astonished that kids are allowed phones with Internet access overnight.

Very similar to my rules. However, I have boys and they are not interested in TikTok or Snapchat. But they game on a ps5 or on a game pc, which also takes up extra screen time. But at least they do this with classmates so there’s some real social contact there.

Your rules are very similar to ours with our eldest.

No, I'm the same with my 13 year old. Family link on phone, so can't download anything unsuitable, 2.5 hours a day (3 at weekends) and phone locks at 9pm or when time is up.

I had the same rules for DD at that age and was also told I’m unreasonably strict and no one else’s parents do this. I guess you must be No One Else’s parent! Nice to meet you.

Your restrictions are similar to my 11yr old, however she has a bit less at 2hrs a day (an hour on phone and an hour on tablet, I use family link) and they lock at 7pm. They are allowed about an hour of crappy YouTube on the lounge (so I can see what they're watching) per day which usually runs over if I'm caught up in chores 🙄

Daughter does occasionally complain but I'm holding fast (& occasionally threaten to throw a brick at the TV 😆) - as other pps have said, it's a lot of time to waste!! I do say to her too that I'm not having her look back on her tween years as being just permanently esconced in front of a screen and she'll thank me for it 🤷🏼‍♀️
Stand firm!

They won’t be chatting much. IME the vast majority of time spent on phones for teens is scrolling mindlessly amd being influenced down an algorithm rabbit hole. All negative which ever way you look at it.

Your restrictions sound like you are a great parent. Moderation is the key and absolutely overseeing everything.

As much as they protest now, when they grow up they will NEVER look back and say I wish you’d let me scroll on tiktok for hours every day.

Mine are both older now and are thankful they had moderate restrictions. They tell me they would never have self regulated because it was too addictive. Just the other day they were saying they are glad they don’t have a massive digital footprint pouting and posting stupid video’s and photos for employers to view.

Mine also were guided away from doing the unpleasant ‘rating of friends’ on WhatsApp status in the younger years. That digital
footprint is there forever, protect your children. Know everything they are doing online.

Your limits are very similar to the ones I’ve set. I feel I’m overly lenient, as others say it’s a huge amount of time on the phone. But it seems the only way they communicate and he feels very excluded if he can’t join in with his friends’ chatting

You’re a lot more lenient than I am with my 12 year old. You’re allowing 20 hours a week down the drain on a phone!! There is so much more to life than that :(

IME, you will battle until she is nearly 16. We resorted to a lock box for phone, ipad and laptop. It was hard parenting

Then one school holiday when she was 15, she self regulated well so I eased off and it went well. She just grew up.

I think that you are very lenient. 2.5 hours per day is too much in my opinion. 17.5 hours of her life wasted each week dicking around on a phone. You can probably double that if you include messaging. Madness.

I don’t think that you are ridiculously lenient (those parents have no internet restrictions and their kids have their phone overnight ) but it’s understandable where you’re coming from. Have you given dd an age where she can have social media ? It’s a massive time waster but if she wants it she will get it sooner rather than later and you don’t want her doing things like buying a second phone or getting a friend to give her a unused phone from their house to get around your rules. Most SM apps are for age 13+ - WhatsApp is supposed to be for older kids.

Does she get homework set on apps ? My kids sometimes had homework that were apps so they would have been bitter about homework taking up
screentime and would have rushed homework as a result.

Does your DD’s friends send her TikToks? If she’s allowed other SM like Snapchat then it’s not possible to monitor that because of disappearing messages. TikToks are often posted on Instagram so banning TT but allowing Insta is pretty futile.

Does she get up in the morning without drama? if not then you know that the restrictions are fine. Personally I had Friday and Saturday restrictions later but they didn’t have early morning sports clubs etc