AIBU for not wanting to pay rent?

Or earlier. Do not dog sit for free. If the BIL have money for a holiday they have money for kennels. Not your problem.

This. They will want to scrape every penny from you if you let them.

Sounds like you’re paying more than your fair share for just a room and your sister is probably actually making a profit from you living there, in terms of you pay them more than the extra it’s costing for heating, electricity, even loo roll! You’re also providing some childcare and contributing towards their date nights. It’s no wonder they’re not keen for you to leave - if you do they’ll have less income and less help with everything! Yanbu to not want to pay when you’re not there. Just get out as soon as you can and don’t let them persuade you to stay!

Of course they don't want you to leave OP - you're their golden goose. Unfortunately in the entire families greediness to exploit you, they have turned the temperature up on their boiling frog rather too quickly, and suddenly you're aware that this just isn't fair.

Question is what are you going to do about it. Sounds like stating your boundaries is tough for you, so start small with the dog sitting. I would be saying you won't do it unless they at least cover your rent, but if you can't do that then at least tell them you need the money ip front for the vets payment before you take the dog in.

They're taking the Mickey. Go for the one bed flat and set it up for as soon as the dog sitting ends in January.

Surely they can phone the vet and pay over the phone directly?

Everytime I view somewhere they reassure me there’s no pressure to leave!

That doesn’t mean you have to stay though! Just find somewhere and leave, this isn’t working out.

tricky because she was anticipating the money. I'd give her £100 and go for my evening meal. You should have told BIL to pay his own vets bill by BACS and they should be paying you out of pocket expenses (petrol,)
You need to learn to manage situations better and discuss ''What ifs' before they arise.

As an aside. You are being taken for a ride re dog sitting.

I think you need to move out - get your own place, be a grown-up.

It’s not the same thing because of the nature of the arrangement . I’ve been a lodger and of course I continued paying while on holiday however this is her close family who have a seemingly informal arrangement with her (hence she is also doing ad hoc childcare and paying for Ubers etc) and who wouldn’t otherwise be renting the room out.

They can’t suddenly go all formal when it suits them . If this was a private lodgers agreement no way would she have been doing all the extras like childcare and paying for their Ubers AND be paying above the going rate for a local flatshare.

Furthermore she is leaving their home to go and do the BILs parent a favour which will save them £££ - an arrangement which he set up.

Sure, she should’ve said no but there’s a power dynamic here. It sounds as if she’s new to the area/country, new to her job, new to the world of work and she’s 26 - her sister and BIL are over a decade older than her and it’s their house. Can be tricky to say no.

You’re far too intertwined with them all - I would certainly look to rent something else. Your costs have gone up anyway and no way would I pay the vets bills. The more you do the more it’s taken for granted - your initial £100 a week would barely cover costs but with all the extras your sister has come to rely on your income.

Right - they won’t pay her back. It’s pre planned visits there’s no reason for them not to pay in advance or send the money to OP the day before each appointments. They will make it very difficult to get this money back and why should Op be out of pocket for any length of time?.

A pp said you just need to present them with invoices and you’ll easily get your money back -sorry it’s not that simple if someone doesn’t want to pay! Lol

Even as a freelancer I’ve had companies take months to pay invoices and it involved me chasing them up multiple times.

Yes, I would just pay them the 150 but no more Ubers, takeaways or babysitting. Don’t pay the vets bills - ask the vet for online payment details and pass those on.

Can you spend this evening finding a new place?

She’s not on holiday - she’s been loaned out by her BIL to his parents as long as she also keeps up the babysitting/dog walking duties for him!
Contact the CF PIL and tell them they need to reimburse you immediately for any dog expenses.
Whoever you are supposed to be dog sitting for in January tell them you won’t be doing it. Good luck to them finding another free pet sitter.
Get yourself a room or flat sorted for 1/1/2025 and make a New Year resolution that you are nobody’s servant.
Every time they try to guilt you remember they want to charge you above market rates (double market rates if it’s normally £300/m for a room) whilst absolutely taking the piss with the favours they expect.

Whilst £400/month inc bills for a spare room isn't bad, it isn't good when you consider all the extras you're providing them for free or paying for yourself. Dogsitting, babysitting, vets bills, takeaways and taxis. I don't think you can complain that you're paying for your own food whilst staying at PIL house though, that's just normal adulting, but certainly the rest of it would not come with a normal lodging agreement so I think a) they've taken advantage of you/the situation and b) your mum is OTT to suggest paying a 'retainer' as if this is some sort of a formal arrangement. The extra stuff they've benefitted from for free suggest it isn't.

That said, given you agreed on 12 months upfront you might just need to see this through, especially if the plan is to move out in January anyway.

I would be less than inclined to offer any favours in the future though and might find my calendar suddenly very busy the next time I'm asked to provide my dogsitting services.

This is all about jealousy about your salary. Your sister is seething you earn so much more than them. You should move out ASAP. Otherwise a long term feud could erupt

Don’t pay the vet bill. Get them to pay the vet online. That’s what I do when cat goes to vet whilst at cat sitters.

If you do the math you may already be paying £300 per week given the other things you pay for and if you add up all the free labour it's going to push that amount higher. It's time to move out because the situation isn't working for you anymore. Do it secretly so you can avoid the emotional blackmail.

This, but I would be tempted to put this through the BIL, given that he’s the one who arranged it for you. Might give him pause for thought over the rent he is charging you too.

Well in that case the PIL are massive CFs! I think you need to get out of there ASAP if there’s to be any chance of salvaging a future relationship with your sister.

If you went on holiday you'd still be liable
For rent and bills. This is the same thing.

Pay the £150 per week but tell your sister you won't be doing dog walking or babysitting any more without payment - and move out.

Go back to BILs DPs and say that as you are still being charged rent, you need them to pay £100 per week for dog sitting, which is still incredibly reasonable.

OP can you Move your stuff out your sisters flat if you decide to housesit? If so do not pay them any money as you have fully moved out . Use that time to find a one bed flat to move into once your BiL parents return .

The going rate in your area for a flatshare is £300pcm and they want you to pay £600 from next year? Not to mention all the other freebies you give them. They’re taking the piss and mistreating you as family! I can’t believe anyone is justifying this.

Or alternatively tell BIL and his parents you can’t afford to do the house sitting anymore and stay at your sisters/BIL, continue paying them but look for somewhere to move into asap. Learn to use the word no, but I appreciate it’s hard considering it’s your much older big sister.

She’s clearly taking advantage though and it’s sad your mum doesn’t have your back either. Not all family can be trusted to act in your best interests.

Your friends are right, they’re all taking the piss. I’d advise a one bed flat instead of a flatshare too. It’s worth the extra money in this case.

After your update (I did wonder if it was £500 pm, not week 😁) definitely move out - I think you'll save more by NOT living at your sister's.

They've been taking advantage.