AIBU for not wanting to pay rent?

Dog kennels were £40 per day a few years ago. You're being taken for a ride. You sister is short of money at the moment with her 40 year old apprentice husband and her working part time which is not your problem.

pay The rent as usual and get out asap. You are being abused here let’s be fair. The babysitting, Ubers and now house sitting that you were volunteered for. Say thanks for everything , but you want your own space and then get out of there - this is not going to end well if you stay

They are all taking the piss with the ‘favours’ in this arrangement. If you factor in the babysitting and dog walking etc you are paying way over the market rate for staying with your sister. Expecting you to dog sit for months for free is saving the PIL thousands. Get something set up so you can move into a rental as soon as this arrangement ends, not back to your sister. How can you be a graduate earning £35k and value your time so little? It’s one thing to help your sister who it does sound like initially did you a favour to get yourself established but you are not a skivvy to be loaned out!

I’d snap up the one bed flat at £700 per month including bills - don’t take the house share, just enjoy independent living for a change. Pay the deposit and set a move in date and only then tell your sister you’re sorted and will be leaving.

And for pity’s sake, do not carry on with the baby sitting, dog walking and the rest - those days are over, don’t let them guilt trip you into carrying on. Make sure BIL’s parents pay you for those vet bills as well as understand you’re doing no more housesitting!

What on earth are you on about, have you been drinking? There’s no suggestion from the OP that the vets bill was an anticipated one. Why doesn’t your dog have insurance? Do you expect your vets to offer you free or discounted care just because? Do you have the same attitude when you go to see a doctor about your own health? If you can’t afford to have pets, don’t have them.

yes to moving out. I’d also tell sister and BIL that helping out HIS parents is actually costing you money. His parents should be paying you to house sit. We pay our house sitters £500/week (plus look after 2 dogs and a cat).
and they are letting someone else stay in your room whilst you aren’t there! Maybe they should be contributing to bills whilst staying, as you will be paying for someone to stay.

I’d just move out, £150 a week is a fair amount for someone’s spare bedroom. I do think its unfair expecting the full amount when you’re not eating there etc. Tell her you’re giving notice that once you’ve house sat you’ll be getting your own place and won’t be providing free childcare and dog walking. She is taking the P expecting £600 a month for a spare room when you’re also helping them out. 35k isn’t a huge salary at all, though maybe is to your sister. Don’t let her talk you out of leaving, say the house sitting made you realise you want your own space. I assumed you were saving to buy, but if renting you just need enough for one month rent in advance and deposit of around the same.

of course they don’t want you to move out: they’re taking advantage of you.

I don't think they are doing her a favour anymore though, I think they like the extra 'income' even though they probably aren't actually making any money, and the live in help.

Run. Don't hang around to do them more favours in the new year. Secure that £300 per week room.

You could even do paid dog walking gigs to supplement your income rather than paying out for the pleasure.

Stop being Cinderella asap.

Firstly, you sound lovely. Secondly, you need to get yourself out of this dog sitting thing ASAP. So message your sister to say yep, you should’ve realised they’d want continued rent, you can’t afford to do both due to the travel costs, and you’ll be messaging your BIL parent’s asap to say they need to find a dog sitter. A week should be fine, and is totally their problem.

That will probably result in BIL getting a panicked message from his parent’s, but again, not your problem.

After that, I think you need to realise that your sister is MASSIVELY using you! Free childcare while you’re not even living there and doing her in-laws a huge favour?! Time for this to stop OP. I think you should look to move out ASAP. Don’t be persuaded to stay, it doesn’t work for you to be working and baby sitting etc etc. Good luck!

I think you are being taken advantage of a bit. £100 pw is fine but all the other stuff you do/pay for over and above is a bit of a rip off. Walking 2 dogs for an hour a day would cost your sis £100 a week if she had to pay someone else to do it, and the ubers and babysitting will add up. Not sure they've let you stay out of the kindness of their hearts tbh, and the in laws will be saving a nice chunk not having to pay a house sitter.
I 'd be making plans to move out ASAP.

She’s being completely unreasonable.
if you do end up paying the £150 until you find somewhere, I’d suggest no childcare, don’t eat their food. Keep it civil and then get out quick, for sake of your future relationship!

I think your decision to move out sounds sensible OP but can you afford somewhere for £500 per week?? Either way you very calmly need to tell your sister you’re moving out date and start saying no to all the extras or at least agree to what you want to do and no more.

And be careful you’re not expected to carry on the babysitting/dog walking/taxi services when you move out! Practice saying no now.

Moving out sounds sensible OP.

You've got to the point where everyone else is making decisions for you. They are convincing you to stay. They are arranging for you to dog sit. Etc.

Move out and be totally independent - the freedom to make your own decisions is invaluable.

I’d say it will be fair to all to pay the rent, split or claim expenses and charge for baby/petsitting.

Exactly! Even if she stopped paying into her pension she still wouldn't be able to rent a £500 a week flat on what's left after deductions and student debt.

Pay the rent but stop paying for the other things. Getting the vet money back needent be difficult, just had them the invoices.

You are a grown up so practice being one and move out no one can talk you into anything unless you let them

So they now want £150 per week for their free babysitter? I would move out pronto OP as this may turn sour quite shortly. It’s clear they are relying on your money and if I was in this situation I’d feel like they were taking me for a mug. Take back control.

But their not keeping the room open a friend is going to stay over in it?

£600 plus some Ubers and food will still be a lot cheaper than £1.2-2k a month on rent plus all food and personal expenses. Like I said, if renting privately will prevent her from being able to save up a deposit for her own home it would be wiser to just stay at her sister's for a year. She's on £35k a year, pays 10% into her pension and has student debt. I don't know where she lives, but in the UK that would leave her with less than £2k a month to live on.

I think she said FYI which means For Your Information.