My Mum was horrible to me growing up, a bad Mum. There were a lot of problems in the family home, emotional and mental abuse and an alcoholic Dad. I was a child that reacted to this but all the family issues were placed squarely on my shoulders. She neglected me badly enough for it to be led to bullying and it was just horrible.
She lies to herself about how horrible it was and how horrible she was to me and believes her own lies.
We recently had a conversation about care homes, (we pretend that I didn’t have the childhood I did) and I said I had no intentions to look after anyone in their old age (I’m much harder to bully these days) she looked genuinely surprised and said ‘I thought you would look after me’ instead of her going into a home, I said it’s not something I want to go through.
So, considering we brush past the past AIBU, should I be helping my Mum when she gets old and provide the care for her she never gave me so she doesn’t go into a home?
Just to add - I’m currently working on going lower & lower contact with her but when you’ve grown up and this has been your normal and all of a sudden realise as an adult how fucked up that was it’s incredibly hard to just go NC when it’s never been an issue before and many other family members would be greatly affected.