How interested were your in laws in your pregnancy?

Your update about your husband is concerning.
I think you need to make a plan about how you see your family life and future and discuss it with your husband.
Tell him how you feel ignored and excluded by his family.
Personally, I would pull back and avoid spending time with them unless they make an effort to acknowledge and respect you. They don't need to ask about the pregnancy but they do need to show decency and some warmth.

Interested but they don't communicate unless we reach out to them. They are very polite when we do though and loved seeing scan pictures.

Very similar story here.
Neither side is interested.

Mil actually was really off with me during my first pregnancy, gave me silent treatment. All because we chose to get married at a registry office and couldn't afford to have a celebration/more than 2 witnesses so rather than exclude people/create drama (my parents are divorced and at the time my dad wouldnt do anything without his girlfriend) my inlaws are also very obvious about not wanting to meet or interact with my family so we didnt have a lot of options really. Its been 12 years, and they haven't met my family apart from my mum who lives with us so i can provide care for her.

we decided to keep it simple and just do it us. It was also 3 days before I gave birth we just wanted it done. I was 22. I was very vunerable with her and told her I was terrified. She knew I had no family interested yet she still chose to ignore me because we didn't dance around her wishes.

Mil does however love newborns so has always rushed over the day they are born. Then loses interested. So no inlaws were never really interested in pregnancy or really me. Like a pp said they get offended if I don't attend Christmas but when I am there no one talks to me 🤷🏼‍♀️ I am the only daughter in law and its very clear to me now they just aren't warm social people they like to keep themselves to themselves and see any outsiders as threats.

I have three boys I plan to be a lovely warm inviting mil who knows boundaries and won't overstep! But won't sulk when my children and their potential partners just want to live their lives !

DP's mum was mildly excited when we went round and told her. Don't think FIL lifted his head from his newspaper 😂 ours was the 6th grandchild though so think the shine had worn off by then. I never got asked how I was etc but that's just how they are. They like DD now she's here 🙂

Mil and Fil are split and both in new relationships. Mil absolutely lovely and very involved, always messages to see how I am..recently took us on holiday as our last one before baby comes,.we invited her to our 4D scan and she was there etc she is amazing I am so lucky!

Fil don't like me and never really has so he's not happy about the pregnancy as he feels it 'ties the knot' with me and DP a little more. Don't particularly like him either so oh well we don't see him anyway.

My own parents - not one bit interested!

extremely but not overbearing
but our circumstances are unique
im 43 and never seen a period due to severe PCOS

my ex was adopted as a toddler as MIL nearly died from a etopic pregnancy years before

they were early 40s when he came along

from day 1 of meeting PIL i was accepted and treated as a daughter

both of us were each other firsts and meet at 17 and 18 so due to that and the fact i was told as a teen i was infertile we never used contraception

son 1 was tried for and i caught naturally after 4 years together(i used to take monthly cheap PG tests)no idea how i caught but i found out at 3 weeks

becasue of all the circumstances everyone was over the moon as my parents were just as involved but my parents are years younger than my in-laws

hyperemesis gravidarum kicked in early(rush of hormones i never had)
every appointment and scan both sets of parents were happy to be involved and my FIL even took me to them as hospital is over a hour away as we are rural wales

i even got admitted a few times due to dehydration
they also came to look after me as i was bedridden
i was 4 days slow labour but they were there in the waiting room or car park

cue year later son 2 took 4 years of clomid tablets, because of lack of periods we had a different way of taking them
hospital wouldnt do IVF becasue i had son 1 naturally

i was constantly up the hospital
scan to see if ovaries were working or releasing eggs(never) given tablets then 2 weeks later scan to see if tablets worked or eggs(never a change) then a week after that a PG test
if negative start again

this went of for 4 years and FIl took me to every appointment and waited in the car to take us back

1 month went through all the usually monthly arrangements same results
took test and it was faint(3 for a pound Poundland dip tests work fine)
cue panic so got a Clearblue and 2 weeks pg

straight up the hospital and i was PG

same situation ever scan and appointment FIl took us to and both involved
didn't get HG with this one

son 2 was a very difficult birth(11lb110oz 29 inches)
PIL was in the waiting room or car in the car park the whole time
even took my ex and mother home as son was born early hours

never interfered as a PIL or as grandparents in the 22 years me and my ex were together

Not much and didn't really expect them to be.
I had wonderful in laws and I miss them

People on mumsnet trip over themselves to tell expectant mothers that their pregnancies / babies are the most tedious, routine, uninspiring things to have ever occurred and that nobody else could be remotely interested.

In real life however I think most in laws probably are excited and certainly care enough to offer congratulations and ask after the health of the mother. I’m sorry yours aren’t even showing polite, perfunctory interest.

I have a similar experience with my in-laws. I laugh when I recall MIL saying she would be at our place once a week to help care for DC. Never happened! She’s barely been over. DC doesn’t know her. Lucky we have my mum who makes a fuss.

Have you been open with them? Got to know them. Told them anything about your pregnancy?

In-laws were uninterested in my pregnancy many years ago.
Couldn't really be bothered with the children when young,
And still aren't interested in them as adults to the point they get the two of them mixed up with the wrong names which is utterly disgusting
My best advice is stop making an effort and lower your expectations of them then you won't be disappointed

My in laws were totally disinterested, especially MiL. Not a word, not even congratulations.
Very little interest after DC were born and then later a definite preference with obvious favouritism by MiL to one over the other.
Fortunately DH sees it too, so we keep our distance as much as possible.
My own parents were wonderful but no longer with us, so the DC just have a very cold Grandmother and a not very interested Grandfather.

They were pretty disinterested when we told them I was pregnant. And both times responded with comments along the lines of "that's nice... so and so from the golf club died the other week"

They generally weren't very interested in other people.

Once the babies were born, they came over to see the new baby. DC1 was 3 weeks old, DC2 was 4 months old.

Not in the slightest bit interested. Mind, I wasn't interested in them - I can't even remember if they bought either of the babies a present.

Not sure my parents were interested either.

Mine went out and bought a gift with baby 1 name spelt incorrectly.

It could go two ways. Their lack of interest could extend to the baby when it's born, which would be awful.

Alternatively, they may be all over the baby, but still exclude you, which will be just as awful.

Your husband is going to have to be more assertive and protective of you and the baby, otherwise you will lose all respect for him.

When my then husband and I told his parents that I was pregnant with DD1, his mother's first words were, "I don't know how you think you're going to manage, you haven't got any savings." When I miscarried my next pregnancy, she said, "It's your own fault, you didn't rest enough." By the third baby she said, "You've already got two, it's not interesting any more." I thought I'd try to get them on board by inviting them to be godparents (they were religious, and XH and I were churchgoers at the time), but they refused and wouldn't even come to her baptism. I don't think they saw the two youngest children often enough to know what they looked like. I couldn't have asked them to babysit or to have any of the children to stay with them.

They didn't have other grandchildren competing for their attention and they weren't deliberately unkind, they were just cold and detached. I do often wonder if I could have tried harder to keep them involved. My own parents were delighted to have grandchildren.

When XFiL died I took the younger children, now almost adults, to his funeral. After that DS and DD3 chose to stay in touch with XMiL by writing to her and she always wrote back.

Not very.
But they did have grandchildren arriving at fairly regular intervals at the time, so mine was just another pregnancy.

They took a big interest in the actual babies, though.

Sorry about your experience OP, my experience (of feeling disliked and excluded) by my PIL intensified over a few years, and was made apparent both at our wedding and with pregnancy announcements.

First pregnancy - (we had ceased contact after their behaviour at our wedding, but emailed them a few months later with our pregnancy news, thinking they would be at least interested in their first grandchild). A cold email response was received, wishing us luck.

Second pregnancy - by then we had regained contact and were on awkward but agreeable terms, so there was more interest and apparent joy.

Third pregnancy - We have now ceased contact again (and for good) after a fall out last year, so naturally they are probably unaware and disinterested.

The 'golden child' BIL and wife had their first child back in the summer, who we assume will be lavished with all the love and attention that our three DC have never really had from them.

My ILs are the same as yours, OP. The snide comments are like death by 1000 paper cuts. And they act like events cannot happen without me. Perfect example: they had a meal 2 hours away from our home. I couldn’t get out of a work thing, and they acted like the evening would be totally ruined if so weren’t there. They insisted so come after dinner (DH and DC had gone on their own). I drive all that way, only to arrive as everyone was getting ready to leave. It was a power move on MIL’s part. DH is too shit scared to stand up to her, and because he grew up with MIL, he doesn’t see it as odd or abnormal.

My MIL isn't interested in this pregnancy, however she was so over invested in the last one that I had to tell her to back off, so that's likely my fault.

She however is very interested in her GC, she calls daily to speak to him and much to my annoyance always buys him treats and goodies, my son adores her so I'd never exclude her despite how frustrating she is.

How does your DH react to their rudeness? Does he support you? They sound absolutely horrible.

MIL is absolutely lovely. We're not too close but she always asks my husband how I am whenever they talk on the phone. She's staying with us right now to look after oir toddler as I'm due my planned cesarean this week, and she's been pretty helpful if we ask her to do anything to take the load off me for a bit.

Other in-law relatives? Couldn't give a toss... SIL announced on Facebook she was very excited that she was going to be an auntie again, with no mention of me or my husband. Hasn't said a word to either of us since except to moan to my husband about stuff going on in her life. It's on form for her as she was exactly the same with my last pregnancy. She has met our toddler twice - took loads of pictures, put them online without our consent, soaked up all the comments from her friends about how cute he was, and barely talked to us after.

MIL makes up for it all by being nice, but yeah, the rest of them are quite disinterested.

My IL are very interested, my own parents not so much!