Scrimp and save to pay mortgage off or live now?

@Easypeelersareterrible , I would go with 2 as well.

what struck me is that you think you should be offering a more exciting life for your kids but it sounds like they are quite happy with the one they have. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.They can do all that visiting new places when they older and paying for it if they want to. So perhaps you can find a way to do 1
and 2 and once they have left 3

We are late 50s and doing 2.

DCs are now adults. 2 are married. One still lives with us.

I thought we would downsize when youngest went off to uni. Instead we extended! Then came covid, weddings. At some point we may be blessed with DGCs.

3 was our lottery dream.

Now I'm a little bit older it has less appeal. We have a sizeable allotment which keeps us busy. If at any point it becomes too much then we can give it up and walk away.

The idea of rural isolation would frighten me. My DGPs did it and it was lovely until it suddenly wasn't.

Re.the chicken comment, the OP was obviously joking about making it last 5 meals!!

We did number 1 and the relief has been immense. We did get a couple of big holidays in before we knuckled down to it. It's been a huge weight lifted. We're now free to save for DSs future and our own.

It sounds like you'll still have a good quality of life while you focus on the mortgage.

I just think you never know what's around the corner-illness, death, redundancy. If you're in a position to get your mortgage paid early I think you should go for it.

2 sounds the most sensible- 1 sounds like you’re being too tight and I think you’d regret 3.

Im also not sure why you’re so desperate to pay off the mortgage when you’re so close to being able to access your pension. If anything I’d be ploughing the money into pension for the tax relief and then using the tax free lump sum to clear a big portion of the mortgage. I certainly wouldn’t be overpaying when you’re only a few years from being able to access tax efficient money via the pension. Overpaying now seems to be a really inefficient use of the money.

2 or 3 depending on the kids. There could be a trade off with a cheaper city and good place to be.

1. There is no way on this gods green earth can you make a chicken last 5 days (how big is this chicken? Teens as well) IMPOSSIBLE
2. Pay the mortgage off now as the teens will grow up and need cash for uni, first house, marriage and their own kids.

Why would it be living unhappily?
Op says not living frugally
Most stuff people buy is a waste of money, kids move onto the next thing quickly
Be balanced, pay off mortgage, one nice holiday,less tat.

We paid ours off at 48, best feeling ever!
All our money is our own,option 1 gives you financial freedom, ability to look for what you really want in life

Don't do option 3, disastrous for DC at this time

We didn't start to overpay our mortgage until last year. Our children are now 21 and 18. One graduated from uni, one just started uni. We definitely lived for the now. My lovely friend suddenly died of sepsis aged 39 she was the same age as Dh and a year younger than me. It really brings it home that tomorrow is not guaranteed. We also both lost our Mums too so you never know when the last Christmas you spend with someone might actually be their very last Christmas.

We knew the children might not want to continue doing holidays with us or weekends out and about so we prioritised having fun with them a lot of it on their terms and enjoyed ourselves but also through their joy too.

I vote option 2 for not but consider option 3 but take into account the whole ferrying them around aspect.

2 then 3 when the kids go to university.

I now know people who haven't lived to retire - in a couple of cases they put back their retirement by a 2-3 years, died soon after retiring or got terminally ill within 2 years of retiring.

The happiest ones sought a balance between working, paying of their mortgage and seeing their children - if they had them when they were healthy. (Oddly they all made time for grandchildren if they had them.)

Well commuting is in itself a downside for most people.

If this was countryside with an excellent bus service back to the city and all their friends, and all the things they might want to do of an evening, when they've been mountain biking all day, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad for the DC.

My experience of rural living teens is that either their parents spend a huge amount of time ferrying them about, or they miss out on things their friend are doing. If they'd always lived there and were used to it it would be one thing, but completely different to move to this.

2 with a plan for 3 once last child goes to University

OP didn’t mention they would have to move school, I guess I imagined the countryside to be a commute 🤷‍♀️

Two, because one sounds miserable and three is a terrible idea with teenagers.

You may not have your health in a few years time to be able to travel. Imagine scrimping and saving to pay off your mortgage and then in five years time - God forbid - you have an accident or are diagnosed with a condition that makes adventurous travel almost impossible. Go and trek the Andes and scuba dive in French Polynesia or backpack around Australia or do music and food tour of the Deep South now. Tomorrow might never come.

So, option two now and then downsize when they're adults allowing you to go part time or work in less stressful jobs as you get older.

Live now.

My parents sacrificed their married lives together (Dad worked abroad) for money in retirement. My Mum died 6 months before her retiral date.

Oh yeah, he believes he’s done it for the best as he never wants to be in a position were he’s no money and homeless ever again so I think there is some trauma there as he has previously been homeless

@TheHeadOfTheHouse gosh that’s so sad to read! Is he aware of the fact he has sacrificed parenthood for work? He sounds like a workaholic!

If your kids like cheap GB mountain biking holidays take a 50:50 approach.

review the amount you are currently putting into option 1 and take a third to a half away. Keep this in a separate account for fun adventures.

this way you are paying down the mortgage still, but have created a larger fun money pot monthly/annually to allow you to do more travel or experiences with your children.

mine are younger than yours and I had a costly divorce so currently I am in idea 1 of yours. If I lose my job I want as little mortgage as possible.but as the kids get older and can appreciate a holiday that isn’t just beach/pool I will be changing that to give more flexibility to mortgage overpayments so I can have fun with the kids whilst they are small.

My dh is very set on being financially secure.

our mortgage was paid off in 2 years of having it (we owed 340k) as he worked and worked and worked.

hes now convinced we need to more financially secure than what we are (180k in savings).

the result?

• he’s barely done anything with the kids (12 and 7)
• he’s taken the kids to the park or some with us 5 times in 12 years
• been to the cinema 3 times with us
• had one holiday in 12 years
• no social life and no friends
• unable to communicate at the very rare times he’s attended a family occasion due to being so closed off from the outside world and people in general.
• never leaves the house as he’s worried about losing money if clients call.
• the kids don’t know him as a dad that attends activities or plays with them.

yes the mortgage may be paid off but it’s been at a massive sacrifice.

financial security is important, but so is everything else in life so I would pick option 2

We are doing 2 but still making a small overpayment on the mortgage. We made great inroads into the mortgage during Covid but are now more focussed on enjoying our last few years with the kids at home and still wanting to go on holiday with us. I’d love to move but will wait until the kids have moved on now.

I vote 2, we cleared our mortgage before we had DC (not forward planning just late with becoming parents) and it was freeing but it would be really hard to do with DC whilst also providing opportunities around clubs and sports, holidays, experiences like tickets for this or that. I wouldn’t give up the stuff that makes life nice for your kids.

For me, no2. Enjoy life while you can you never know whats round the corner. We live for holidays and doing fun things together. As my dad used to say “your a long time dead”

2.5- pay no more than the regular/minimum mortgage payment, take good holidays while kids are teens and will appreciate and learn from them, eat good food but not extravagant, save for your share of their Uni costs (as high earners they will only get minimum loan and you will need to top them up), then when empty nesters sell up, move to country and slow down with less stressful jobs and no mortgage.