To ask if people today don’t agree with ivf?!

Didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to see the irony of saying about one group of people It's bloody insulting and invalidating to tell someone their feelings are wrong and then saying about another group of people I wonder why she has had so much trouble. Perhaps some mental health issues.

Your curiousity was couched in judgemental terms, while telling other posters they are not allowed to judge someone's feelings.

Exactly I had 2 transfers, 2 embryos each time, 1 baby 👶 and still had 3 in the freezer. (The 3 went to research bless them 😘)
And I was 40 so low odds anyway. We'd been trying for 4 years by that point.

That’s just silly. You don’t not have children because of the possibility of getting a terminal illness in the future. It’s different if you already have a condition that you know will shorten your life.

Having spent a lot of time in the hospital system and also having 5 rounds of IVF I have the following comments

IVF - the absolute vast majority of IVF cycles are privately funded. For most people the first round, which for us was our only NHS funded cycle, is just an experiment to see how you react to the drugs. We have spent more than £25k on our treatment which luckily resulted in my nearly 6 year old twins.

both of my twins have needed various hospital treatment over the years, sepsis, severe croup, hip displasia among other things. For those that have spent time in hospitals you will know that the waste is absolutely chronic. I was shown a very very basic kitchen that was fitted out staff. A few base units, probably 2 metres of worktop, no corners just very straight forward. They were charged £10k to just fit the kitchen. My dad is a joiner and would have done this in half a day for a fraction of the price. Another hospital they spent £50k and new theatre machinery only for it to be too big to be sterilised so it just sat there being unused.

The staff in SCBU constantly complained that they had to buy a £10 jar of coffee that they could buy online for £2 - but they weren’t allowed to and when they complained “management” told them to stop causing trouble. The list is absolutely endless

I love the NHS with all my heart but it needs a total reform. If it did we probably wouldn’t be having these sad conversations about whether it is a choice between one treatment or another.

Those are just numbers. You don’t get to hear the human stories behind the failures.

The success rates are available on the HFEA for all to see. They’re not hidden.

That’s indeed good going. Four transfers, no pregnancies here unfortunately.

Why is it an issue that she had IVF to get pregnant?

I don't understand your concern? IVF didn't cause lung cancer. And she wasn't infertile because of it.

Because she died young she had no right to have IVF?

I adopted my son. If I die young does that mean I should not have adopted him?

Indeed. I have four transfers, three pregnancies and two children. I would say that is good going.

@SerenePeach

Thst is why I asked you the question about what if only one pot of money was available and two patients needed it, one to create a life and one to save one. However I can see from what you’re asking now that you think these things are equally deserving.

I understand the hell of infertility. I had it for nine years before I got lucky twice. However I cannot sit here and say that if I had been told that my IVF treatment was up against someone else’s life-saving cancer treatment, I would take that person’s chance to live away from them, in order for me to create life. Ethically and morally I could not have done that.

I was absolutely desperate to have children and every day my entire life since I have thanked god for my beautiful children. I am beyond grateful and I remember every single step of my journey as though it were yesterday. However, cannot, despite everything see IVF on the same level as life-saving surgery for cancer. Luckily I could pay for treatment , because my authority deemed me too old, by the time I’d reached the front of the queue at 34.

Thete are so many tough questions surrounding funded IVF which is still why I believe that those who can pay should.

What a bizarre argument.
How do you account for any child losing a parent?
Surely, any child who has lost a parent has been dealt a shit hand, as you say?

Adding in, Have you ever sat at a parent's deathbed?, is really unnecessarily dramatic.
How about any parent who adopts? Any foster parent?
Reel in your wasteful use of emotional imagery. P

@Mumtobabyhavoc God forbid anyone would ask how a literal child is coping with the shit hand they were dealt. Have you ever sat at a parent's deathbed? Bloody traumatic is what it is. And all anyone can say is "the mother was happy she got a kid", I mean really?

So, ask who, exactly? No one asks to be born.

Well it's about as logical as saying people who haven't been born have the same rights as those that actually exist.

So, ask who, exactly? No one asks to be born.

Oh ffs you really are entering *** territory, aren't you. 🤦‍♀️

Er no, living breathing people take precedence over non-existent people, bloody hell! Maybe the non-existent person wouldn't even WANT to be born?

It's always about what the prospective parents want-that's exactly what posters are getting at. How did her daughter feel having to lose her mother so young and to such a horrific disease? Not even a mention of that, ever. The mother got to fill the void she had, that's all that ever matters.

@Prettydisgustingactually no your missing the point.
IVF like ever other NHS treatment should be available or it shouldn't be. No postcode lottery no means testing.

Maybe stop thinking about it is treating the couple but forming a new life. That little person having the chance of life. Maybe getting a chance to be formed has as much right as and old life the chance to be extended.

What is the point then if it's not that cancer is more important than IVF?

@SerenePeach You are missing the point

There is one pot of money. It is already divided up between all the different treatments required. Should we be dropping mental health treatment for cancer treatment to have more money? Or physio? Anything that isn't lethal should be stopped to spend all the money on things that are lethal? Where do you draw theline? How far does it go when you're deciding which treatments are less important than cancer?

Women have shared their stories on MN and this thread, too. Maybe it depends how much a person is looking for info. 🤷‍♀️
An example, but different subject, is I had never heard about RSV and the dangers, until last year. Now that I have children I'm picking up on different children-related issues. iykwim
On the ivf topic, I have researched it in the past and did find success/failure rates online along with "natural" conception stats. 🤷‍♀️
A mum at my dc's school shared with me she went the ivf route after having had cancer and was grateful and felt lucky it worked out. I took that to mean that her post-cancer body accepted it and that the stats were in her favour.

You implied she must have something wrong with her to have a problem with being donor conceived, as if it’s fact that donor conception is a good thing. There are different opinions on it and as someone that is the donor conceived person, she is against it.

I don’t believe in god and I also don’t think all scientific breakthroughs are good ones.

You don’t hear so much about the failures, that’s why it seems there are more success stories.

I certainly don't think means testing IVF is a precedent that should be set within the NHS.

You start with IVF what next?
Means test GP appointments?
Means test physiotherapy?

The UK cannot expect higher rate tax payers to continue proping up services if they aren't going to benefit from those services too.
That will in effect force working people to have private health care and zero interest in the quality of service the NHS provides.

Yes but if you’d been means tested then you would not have needed to pay because as you say you could not afford it.

I also had ivf privately twice as by the time I reached the top of the list I was too old at 34 cut off.

Asking hypothetically then, if there was one pot of money for someone’s ivf and someone’s life saving cancer treatment, who should that pot of money be given to?