To ask if people today don’t agree with ivf?!

Mumtobabyhavoc: May I also add that it's not uncommon for the harshest comments to come from those who have experienced pregnancy loss, infertility etc.
The comments say more about them that those they direct their comments to. I suspect it's rooted in the trauma of loss and that for many women it's something they've never been able to recover from.
........
I'm sure you are to something there. My parents were infertile (I was adopted), IVF and surrogacy wasn't a thing when I was growing up but one thing I did notice, often, was how scathing she would be about women who became pregnant. She'd say really nasty things about them, couldn't just let it pass, it was as if she couldn't stop herself. I used to think that she was probably jealous. She was fine with babies, it was the pregnancy that seemed to offend her; not mine, she was pleased when I was pregnant, excited, but I suppose that was different, I was her daughter and she was going to be a grandmother.

People are so weird.

I am surrounded by a wonderful community of the kindest souls who have been through/are going through infertility and pregnancy loss, none of them make harsh comments, including myself. Don’t excuse the behaviour.

But many don't and describe feeling an emptiness despite being fulfilled otherwise.

May I also add that it's not uncommon for the harshest comments to come from those who have experienced pregnancy loss, infertility etc.
The comments say more about them that those they direct their comments to. I suspect it's rooted in the trauma of loss and that for many women it's something they've never been able to recover from.

This!

@FeralWoman
Wind your neck in!

I can imagine you are ❤️ a such wanted baby. I’m sorry we have to read such ignorance on these forums,

@MinPinSins
Like I said the statistics are out of date.

@Cantalever there is no guarantee of viability of an embryo. Any implanted embryo could fail just as easily as one fertilized in the womb.

Way to gaslight women. I felt that way. Now I have my baby and I’m a wonderful parent. How dare you

Thank you. Elizabeth Day articulates the feelings around infertility so well.

I was convinced that I would never have a child as had unprotected sex for 9 years (since I was married at 22) so it wasn't like I was getting more fertile. But I fell pregnant last month miraculously just after being referred to a fertility clinic. This happens to quite a few women.

Congratulations,lovely news.

The issue here that nobody would understand unless they’d been through it is infertility causes mental health problems for many people. It’s like torture. There’s a great quote from Elizabeth day that I hope I’m not misquoting ‘infertility became the canvas that every experience was painted onto’. You can become completely paralysed by day to day life by it . It absolutely should be covered on the NHS for that, and many other reasons

I assume this was directed at my post?

No you can’t stop people conceiving naturally but most pregnancies are planned. My point was around the contradiction in using NHS maternity services without a second thought then object to NHS money treating someone’s infertility (which is a medical issue).

Every week on mumsnet there is some sort of post about ‘should I have a third child’? I have never seen the cost to the NHS raised as an issue. And far more people will have a second or third child than need IVF.

Sorry, this is not correct. It is the issue with destroying what would be considered already created life. Indeed, it could be argued that anyone who has an issue with abortion based on life beginning at the moment of conception should have also an issue with IVF given that there will be a destruction of created life in the event that viable embryos are destroyed.

i was responding to a post where someone implied that mental health is more important than fertility treatment. And as someone who has been through multiple rounds of failed ivf, a miscarriage, and a number of fertility related health issues - the thought of possibly never having a child is life altering for me and is the cause for my mental health issues and at this stage in my life I do not see myself ‘getting over’, my point is fertility treatment snd mental health cannot be compared as seperate issues and can very much be interlinked.

I was convinced that I would never have a child as had unprotected sex for 9 years (since I was married at 22) so it wasn't like I was getting more fertile. But I fell pregnant last month miraculously just after being referred to a fertility clinic. This happens to quite a few women.

I think actually statistically while many people do struggle the number of women who never manage (up to the age of 45) is quite small as many women conceive naturally even after failed ivf. But their pain is still very real, so I dunno how many get over it.

I thought I was over the idea of children but finding out I was pregnant, I am so happy. If amything happens to this pregnancy, I will pursue ivf because it made me realize I really want to be a mother at all cost.

I’m not minimising that pain, I went through 10 years of IVF without success. What I am saying is that there is never a guarantee of a baby. And that’s something many women have to face.

@Cantalever see my comment above - viable embryos die in the same way when women are on the coil. Egg and sperm fertilise, but embryo isn't given the opportunity to implant, similar to discarded IVF embryos - yet no one has the same outrage about people going on the coil

But for some people that’s exactly what it is? And their pain shouldn’t be minimised because they can get some hobbies or a pet.

My daughter is a product of my one round of NHS funded IVF due to unexplained infertility. I feel very very lucky to be given that chance to be a mum. She’s my little miracle.

But lots of women never manage to have a baby in spite of going through loads of IVF but they manage to come to terms with it and live happy fulfilling lives. I’m not sure it helps people with fertility issues to portray not having a child as something that you never ever get over.

This is incorrect

My DH can have a healthy life without a vasectomy. But yet he is going for one on the nhs after our child is born.. it's so that I don't need to be on the iud or implant or pills which I never needed to use for years due to my fertility issues. Which are all funded by the nhs incidentally.

None of this is life threatening.

This is interesting though because are you against using the coil? With the coil embryos can be fertilised and form in the womb every month - they're just prevented from implanting so they die, similar to discarded IVF embryos

Yet the coil is considered a form of contraception, not an abortion, so I'm not sure discarded embryos can be considered an abortion either