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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should i be annoyed?

38 replies

PinaColada24 · 25/11/2024 14:10

My partner of 20+ years and I recently went a way for a long weekend. We have 2 adult children. I’m not normally insecure or the jealous type but for some reason this has unnerved and annoyed me.

On the flight home we were both sat in the aisle seat across the aisle from each other. It was only a 90 minute flight.

He was sat next to a young woman who looked to be in her early 20s.

He was watching a film on his phone and literally as the flight was about to take off the woman started talking to him. They carried on chatting for the entire flight.

I paused my film a few times and at no point did he even look over at me. They carried on laughing and chatting.

Generally on a flight he’s not one to chat. We both watch something on our individual devices. He told me afterwards that she was a nervous flyer.

Towards the end of the flight we had some turbulence. He knows that scared me but again they just carried on chatting.

I know nothing untoward happened so why do I feel so annoyed?

OP posts:
ginasevern · 25/11/2024 17:52

Yep, this is what men do best. They tell you they were only "comforting" a woman in distress (who also happened to be young and fit). Really? Well what about comforting your actual fucking wife. Priceless isn't it!

Raineys · 25/11/2024 17:29

What a rude response from him.
The chatting to her was one thing.
Its the totally ignoring you that was rude and the to give you such a PA nothing response.
Not nice, not kind, and certainly not respectful.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 25/11/2024 17:22

You do realise as you're posting about a bloke talking to a woman that looked youngish you'll be told YANBU.

If you wait long enough you'll be told he's now had his head turned, arranging a weekend away with her so they can ramp things up and he's going to continue an affair whether you like it or not...

Ducks in a row, is your next move.

Julie168 · 25/11/2024 17:02

He was loving the attention from a young pretty woman whilst ignoring you. I'm not surprised you feel the way you do OP.

Original poster
PinaColada24 · 25/11/2024 16:58

Anonymityisvital · 25/11/2024 16:41

I totally agree with you OP.

And actually I think his response is pretty poor. If he really doesn't think he did anything wrong then he must have been so engrossed in his conversation he wasn't even aware of you during the journey. Oherwise part of his mind would have been conscious he was ignoring you.

Very disrespectful of you.

Thank you. I think it’s the fact he forgot I was even on the plane with him is what is so upsetting. He was very engrossed in the conversation. They were chatting and laughing. When I mentioned that he was so unaware I was even there and that I heard them laughing he denied that even happened.

OP posts:
healthybychristmas · 25/11/2024 16:55

I completely agree with you. Also if it had been an older woman who wanted to talk to him all that time he would've got really annoyed and would've called on you for help. He didn't even acknowledge you and that woman obviously thought he was single.

Anonymityisvital · 25/11/2024 16:41

I totally agree with you OP.

And actually I think his response is pretty poor. If he really doesn't think he did anything wrong then he must have been so engrossed in his conversation he wasn't even aware of you during the journey. Oherwise part of his mind would have been conscious he was ignoring you.

Very disrespectful of you.

Ablondiebutagoody · 25/11/2024 16:40

So next time sit next to him and talk rather than watch your individual devices if that's what you would like to do. I don't see that he's done anything wrong.

Original poster
PinaColada24 · 25/11/2024 16:24

I did tell him it was very upsetting. He apologised but still doesn’t think he did anything wrong. His apology was “I’m sorry if you felt I ignored you”. The fact is I didn’t just feel ignored I was actually ignored!

It’s so not his normal behaviour on a plane. He would always just watch something on his iPad or phone. We both feel claustrophobic on planes so tend to book adjacent aisle seats.

I think it’s the fact that he stopped what he was watching and carried on chatting to her for the duration of the journey without once looking over to me or asking if I was ok.

We’ve been together for years and traveled extensively so I know what he normally does when on a plane. I’m really not a needy person but just an acknowledgment that we were travelling together would have been enough.

OP posts:
Anonymityisvital · 25/11/2024 16:07

I think that was pretty rude and thoughtless of your DP . Ignoring the person you are travelling with to socialise exclusively with a stranger , no matter who that stranger is, is poor behaviour.

Did you tell him that you found it upsetting? And if so, was he apologetic?

MoonWoman69 · 25/11/2024 14:36

Aww bless you. I know what you mean, I've been there myself, all unfounded of course, but it doesn't stop you feeling those insecurities once in a while and for the oddest reasons! Don't let it cloud your memories of a lovely weekend. I'm glad you had a good time! 💐

Original poster
PinaColada24 · 25/11/2024 14:32

Thank you. You’re absolutely right. Had we been at a party I wouldn’t think twice about it. We had a wonderful weekend away and he’s never given me reason to worry before. It was just an odd situation I think the fact she was young and pretty added to my insecurity. I’m surprised at how upset it made me feel.

OP posts:
MoonWoman69 · 25/11/2024 14:27

I'd think I'd be a little bit miffed if my husband ignored me for a full hour and a halfs flight too. But I would honestly say that I think it just seemed worse because you were on a flight as opposed to being at a party or function. He was across the aisle from you too, which makes it more tricky to converse with each other. Maybe he did keep checking across, but you were busy watching your film at those points? (Still no excuse for not asking if you were ok during the turbulence though).
I don't think you have anything to worry about or be jealous over, unless there's some background to this that you haven't included? Was the break away ok? Did you get on as you normally would? If so, I'd chalk this up to just one of those strange occasions. We can all convince ourselves that something perfectly innocent is nefarious! Maybe because she was younger and a nervous flyer, she'd said that it was nice to be distracted on a flight and your husband was too polite to go back to his film? Maybe he felt his protective father mode kick in. You said your children were adults, could this be a possibility? The fact that he'd hope if it was one of your children in the young womans position, that someone would do the same?
💐