Is it reasonable to ask a woman to change her profile picture?

Living with another man's toys?

Can you unpack that for us @NewmanintownRob ?

As a single 50s (?) man who's willing to get into a serious relationship, who works, is presumably solvent, who does not have addictions , mental health issues etc etc ...you are gold dust on the dating scene.
50s, 40s and some 30s women will consider you.

You would have plenty of options. Maybe you'll have good chemistry with another woman. That's a numbers game.

This woman sounds like she's not ready to move on and can't give you what you'd like at this point. I'd probably not invest any more in it and get out dating and having fun. You might find that comparatively, she's not actually all that. You may well meet another woman who you could see as a potential life partner. One who's actually able and willing to move at the pace you'd like (which is certainly not a fast or unreasonable pace by the sounds of it).

If you ending the relationship and moving on triggers her to change the current status quo (and not just say she will and then Nov change anything); all well and good, but your goal should not be that ...if should be to see who else is out there and give yourself a chance to meet a woman with whom you have chemistry who can have a relationship that goes somewhere within a reasonable time frame (which the vast majority of women will be).

On Tik Tok maybe, which really isn't helping your case that you're over the age of 12.

No it can't FFS.

Why don't you just break up with her, you clearly can't get past the fact she is a widow and keep bloody repeating it.

OK, up until now I figured maybe you were just a bit weird.

But surely there isn't anyone on the planet over the age of 12 who actually uses the word "unalived"?

Dear god man she is not “a widow”. She is a woman. The fact she has suffered a tragic loss is only part of her story. Stop banging on about her being widowed

I'm sorry but for someone who's still in their late 50s you are sounding like someone so much older. You might have another 25 years!
Not everyone who dates as an older person feels that time is running out in the way you've said, several times here.

You mention a career in the military- are you ex forces in the UK?

You say you could move closer to this woman but in a previous post you said you worked 15 minutes away from where she lives- so you can't be that far apart unless you travel a long way for work.

Every reply from OP has had widow in it, so doesn't need to keep repeating.

Yanbu to be bothered by it. I would give her some time, but once you reach the stage of 'love' and have been together a couple of years I'd think she should change it.

It's not disrespecting her deceased husband, but if she's excited about a future with you I'd expect her to have a photo of you together.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

is she a widow? I had not realised....

Very relevant isn't it. If she wasn't a widow and had her profile photo of her with someone else, it'd be LTB straight away.

ffs read your last two updates - are you on a target for how many times you can say the word "widow"?????????????🤣

I'm totally baffled by the responses on here. People challenging why they would be FB friends. It's normal to be FB friends with the person you're dating/ your boyfriend/girlfriend if both of you are on FB!
I can also see why OP is uncomfortable with his family seeing photos of his girlfriend with another man. They may not all know she's a widow. He's not thinking of all the photos she has, but her profile photo.

She's still a bloody woman. Stop banging on about her being a widow like it's alien. It makes you sounds like a reet GF.

Why keep mentioning she is a widow?

I think the problem was that you appeared to need her to change her FB photo in order to give credibility of your relationship (to your friends and family on Facebook.)

No one needs to advertise their relationship status on Facebook, or anywhere, with photos or anything else.

Our situation is very complex

From what you have posted before, it doesn't seem 'complex' just early days where you're hoping to run before you can walk.

In other words, you're trying to rush it.

As you have only been dating a few months, I don't think it's long enough for her to be viewing this long-term, even if you are. I do think losing her husband might play a part in that, too, regardless of how long ago.

It's still the honeymoon stage. It's most certainly not long enough, or at the stage to be talking about her Facebook profile picture. When the honeymoon period is over, and the lust dies down, if you both still feel the chemistry, and still enjoy each others company as much as you do now, then you know it's more of a long-haul relationship. However, this is usually a gradual progression where you really get to know someone given 'good time' to see where it leads. You already said she has told you she wants to continue. Isn't that enough at this stage?

Unfortunately, because you are both older, time is against you. However, if this really is a concern for you because of time, I think an important discussion to have with her right now is the one about your comment stating, "there are plenty of other women out there that are interested in a long term relationship and possibly marriage". This comment says a lot, and if you present this to her, you will truly know how she feels and where she stands right now on this matter. She will either stay, or run, but you will know either way.

She does need to know how you feel, as much as you need to know how she feels. You might even be wasting her time. You both may have loads of similarities but want different things, also. She may not want to get married again, or may not be looking as long-term as you. It would only be you wasting your time if you don't ask about these things that are so important to you. Just not the Facebook profile picture.

You have to make decisions and be responsible for your life. Any delay from moving on is ultimately down to you.

I must say that there are some things you have stated that are quite confusing and contradictory, I feel.

You are using statements such as: "I am ok with things how they are. What we have is more than just a few casual dates. It's too soon to ask her for something too serious. I just want to take it to the next level. We both know what we want, I don't wanna date anyone else because I feel she is the one."

However, I think that this may be because you could be so back and forth with your feelings on the whole thing. For a period of time, you're ok and happy with it and where it's going, and then you may be experiencing feelings of doubt and insecurity. I think that's normal, but you might be confusing her too.

Anyway, I wish you all the best with it 😊