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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it reasonable to ask a woman to change her profile picture?

389 replies

NewmanintownRob · 25/11/2024 13:03

I have someone I am seeing and she has a picture of her and her deceased husband as her main profile picture on Facebook. I keep in touch with a lot of family and friends through Facebook, but I’m not obsessed by it. However, she has been a widow for four years and I am fully supportive of her sons and family and her deceased husband’s family. However, trying to friend her on Facebook and get her starting to learn more about my family is challenging. if she just simply had a picture of herself, it would be easier - her family and friends know about me and her, most of my family and friends know about me and her. I have a picture of her in my apartment and on my phone - she has no pictures of me in-home or on her phone. I’m trying to advance this to the next level and I’m starting to get worried that she isn’t wanting that. I am giving a time but it does make me a little uncomfortable. AIBU ?

OP posts:
MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 20:12

MildredSauce · 02/12/2024 20:09

This just gets better and better. May we contact Mr Unalive to establish how furious he is that his wife is entertaining such a cockwomble?

I think that would be an excellent idea.

Psychic pistols at dawn might well be the result because I'm sure Mr Unalive would be spinning in his grave / urn.....

TheShellBeach · 02/12/2024 20:11

MildredSauce · 02/12/2024 20:09

This just gets better and better. May we contact Mr Unalive to establish how furious he is that his wife is entertaining such a cockwomble?

I'd love to know his views on this wanker.

MildredSauce · 02/12/2024 20:09

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 20:06

Oh yes, a merry widows gathering indeed. ...

And I can even offer a ouija board ......

This just gets better and better. May we contact Mr Unalive to establish how furious he is that his wife is entertaining such a cockwomble?

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 20:06

MurdoMunro · 02/12/2024 20:04

I would like an evening of singing while drinking from @MistressoftheDarkSide’s coffin bar accompanied on @TheShellBeach’s spinet. Sounds like the best Christmas party ever.

Oh yes, a merry widows gathering indeed. ...

And I can even offer a ouija board ......

MurdoMunro · 02/12/2024 20:04

I would like an evening of singing while drinking from @MistressoftheDarkSide’s coffin bar accompanied on @TheShellBeach’s spinet. Sounds like the best Christmas party ever.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 20:04

TheShellBeach · 02/12/2024 19:57

I have an ancient spinet.

I keep it as a test for suitors.

Those who are unable to play it are ignominiously rejected.

That sounds wonderful 🥰

Cosyblankets · 02/12/2024 20:03

My husband is currently sitting on the sofa next to a photo of me with my late husband. He's not in the slightest bit insecure.

TheShellBeach · 02/12/2024 20:01

Because IMHO 'true love' would allow for memories of a deceased spouse

I think you mean an unalive spouse.
🤣

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 20:00

MildredSauce · 02/12/2024 19:51

Have you really, because that sounds like the most amazing thing!!!!

Yes, I really do 😁

Lifestyle vintage Goths for our sins.

I also have a coffin containing a black spray painted skeleton holding a violin with a perspex lid. We've used it as a bar and a coffee table in happier times.

The suit of armour he wore for our handfasting is sadly rusting in a suitcase, but when I win the lottery and buy a new Gothic Mansion, I'll have it restored and on display. And the sword collection will go up as well.

TowerRavenSeven · 02/12/2024 20:00

Yes yabu! Hth.

AcrossthePond55 · 02/12/2024 19:58

@NewmanintownRob

"Also the photos all over her bedroom, living room, memorial bench, etc. A man gets the feeling he is a maybe suitable replacement, maybe just intimate partner, perhaps living in another mans house and with his toys and wife - not in something that is welcoming to a new man’s family and friends and is not something true love feels like"

So in the event this relationship should progress to something 'serious' would you expect her to take down those photos, dismantle her memorial bench, get rid of his 'toys' etc? In other words, erase every trace of his existence? Of her memories of him? Because IMHO 'true love' would allow for memories of a deceased spouse.

MildredSauce · 02/12/2024 19:57

NewmanintownRob · 02/12/2024 19:52

You are all hilarious - but songs like Widowmaker and widow widow my little widow sound like a good rock song ! ))

That's 8,367,844,096 @TheShellBeach - and enough mentions to send DodgyRob off to the downstairs lav to sort his emissions again...

TheShellBeach · 02/12/2024 19:57

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 19:47

I've got a small size black penny farthing beloved by my late DP with a goats skull on the front with an attachment for a parasol in storage.

If I ever have room for it in a house, I shall use it as a test for any future suitors.

I have an ancient spinet.

I keep it as a test for suitors.

Those who are unable to play it are ignominiously rejected.

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/12/2024 19:56

NewmanintownRob · 02/12/2024 19:52

You are all hilarious - but songs like Widowmaker and widow widow my little widow sound like a good rock song ! ))

We think you are off your rocker.

MurdoMunro · 02/12/2024 19:53

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 19:47

I've got a small size black penny farthing beloved by my late DP with a goats skull on the front with an attachment for a parasol in storage.

If I ever have room for it in a house, I shall use it as a test for any future suitors.

Oh bloody hell, you need to crash @TheShellBeach and The Widow’s date on the ATV with that lot. I am frantically thinking about what the hell I could contribute, this could be an EVENT. @MildredSauce might even bring Christopher Biggins.

NewmanintownRob · 02/12/2024 19:52

You are all hilarious - but songs like Widowmaker and widow widow my little widow sound like a good rock song ! ))

OP posts:
MildredSauce · 02/12/2024 19:51

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 19:47

I've got a small size black penny farthing beloved by my late DP with a goats skull on the front with an attachment for a parasol in storage.

If I ever have room for it in a house, I shall use it as a test for any future suitors.

Have you really, because that sounds like the most amazing thing!!!!

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 19:47

I've got a small size black penny farthing beloved by my late DP with a goats skull on the front with an attachment for a parasol in storage.

If I ever have room for it in a house, I shall use it as a test for any future suitors.

gamerchick · 02/12/2024 19:47

NewmanintownRob · 02/12/2024 17:57

You obviously do not use social media - unalived is ok, dead or death is forbidden and can get you banned. Thanks for the comment though !

Not on here.

Tbh this sounds all very immature.

Instead of subbing dead with unalive. Try and omit widow completely. Just leave a gap.

TheShellBeach · 02/12/2024 19:39

MurdoMunro · 02/12/2024 19:35

Are you thinking of making a move on The Widow yourself there @TheShellBeach? I mean, no snark from me, a date on that ATV could be a cracking afternoon.

I'd love to see the unalive husband's "toys" yes.

Classic Car Chevy GIF by Off The Jacks
TheShellBeach · 02/12/2024 19:37

Did someone say widow?

MurdoMunro · 02/12/2024 19:35

Are you thinking of making a move on The Widow yourself there @TheShellBeach? I mean, no snark from me, a date on that ATV could be a cracking afternoon.

TheShellBeach · 02/12/2024 19:34

https://widow411.com/popular-widowed-women/

MistressoftheDarkSide · 02/12/2024 19:34

MildredSauce · 02/12/2024 19:30

Is he dating Christopher Biggins - it is panto season....?

😂

And the unalive husband is"behiiind you...." apparently....

(Disclaimer - I'm a widow and macabre humour is all that keeps me sane, and prwvents me screamind eternally out loud, but apologies to anyone who finds it distasteful xxx)