Is it reasonable to ask a woman to change her profile picture?

I was widowed when I was 29 my DH died after a long battle with leukaemia.

It's so long ago that it was pre-facebook but I was still wearing my wedding ring when I met my now DH. He was very patient and supportive.
I cried once on a date and he said that he loved me and my past was a part of me and that it was okay.

Asking her to change a picture to remove her late DH may feel disloyal to her.
You can't erase her past and you def can't put her in a position to choose.

Grief isn't linear-it's cyclical and there will be good days and bad.

She absolutely needs to call all of the shots around this and if you can't do it on her terms/timeline then I think it's not for you.

There's something seriously off here: "trying to friend her on Facebook".

If they've already started some kind of a relationship, why is he having to try to friend her?

Sounds more like stalking to me. (I'm speaking as a widow close to the 4 yr mark who still has a pic of my husband with me in my FB profile photo.)

Why is it challenging because she has a photo or her and her husband on fb. Surely if anyone in your family says anything you just say she's a widow.

You might want to sit down and have a think if you can cope with dating a widow of you feel threatened by fb. Its not like her husbands memories will just evaporate. She will have pictures of him and of their happy times together

WTAF?

Yeah, don't go there. You can't ask her that.

Yes I would ask her and explain your reasons. This will ensure the relationship does not progress and a vulnerable woman isn’t in the clutches of a territorial controlling man.

Good job you asked on her rather than ask her tbh I can think of anything you could ask that would be more offensive

If you ask, don't be surprised if rather than agreeing and 'advancing to the next level', she backs off.

Yeah, go ahead and ask, hopefully she'll see the red flag and run.

You forgot to say how long you've been seeing her?

I expect she will update it in time, when her friends and family - particularly her sons - are comfortable that a new relationship won’t eradicate their memory and love for the chap who died. These things take time and care.

However, trying to friend her on Facebook and get her starting to learn more about my family is challenging. if she just simply had a picture of herself, it would be easier

There is no logical connection between these two sentences.

You say her family and friends know about you, so that's the issue? You'd like to ask 'a woman' (not 'my girlfriend'-- 'a woman'??) to change her profile picture because you don't like being reminded she was married, and her marriage ended through in the death of her spouse, not in divorce?

Well, I can see why you would want a different picture, but you don't actually get a say. And I would assume your friend sand family also know that she is a widow, so that is a key part of who she is. I would let it go.

What's mor eimportant is whether the relationship is progressing in a way that you are both happy with.

How long have you been seeing her?

God you can't ask her that.

You can’t ask her to change her profile picture because that controlling

She probably doesn’t have pictures of you around her house out of respect for her kids.

Can I suggest if you are gonna be in a relationship with a widow, that it’s better to not try and erase her dead husband but accept and embrace it