To save everything nice " for best"

Ha, ha. To be in a work mindset when working from home, I need to wear proper shoes :).

DH was brought up similarly to you @Mylovelylittlepetbedbug I suspect. During the first few years of marriage I really annoyed him by throwing away socks and pants worn thin or with holes. It isn't necessary.

Whilst I don't keep things for best, I do wear things out and send them to the charity shop/recycling when they get shabby or develop a hole.

Me and my husband have three bottles of special champagne gathering dust that we got for our wedding twelve years ago. It's ridiculous!

Drink it now! It may already be too late. Champagne can go off.

I think that sometimes we don't wear "best" clothes because they tend to be more formal, and they're not as comfortable as everyday clothes. For the past few years I've been making a point of spending more on really comfortable "everyday" clothes - so I'll get a big, generous cashmere hoodie, rather than a little slim-fitting "smart" cashmere jersey, because the hoodie will get lots more wear.

I had some lovely crockery I inherited from my grandmother that I saved ‘for best’. A couple of years ago I realised I never really had a time when I considered it ‘best’ so now I use it every day. It’s lovely and it makes me smile. None of it has been broken which I worried about but if it was, I’m not going to be upset as I have enjoyed using it.

Just got to get the same idea with clothes now… I tend to live in my ‘gardening jeans and jumper’ at weekends. They’re super comfy but I don’t need to wear them if I’m not gardening…
This thread has inspired me!

This thread is a validation for social media.

So many people being kind to each other, and being encouraged to make their own lives better as well.

😇

Since wfh I have started to put perfume on for zoom meetings. Somehow it makes me feel more "done" - even though I have no bra on and am wearing jogging bottoms and socks'n'stocks....

Enjoy the little things.

Yeah I don't save anything for best, I never go anywhere nice tbh, but always want to feel and look my best.

My mum used to do this and I hardly ever got to wear lovely clothes and shoes before I grew out of them as a kid.

Buy nice things and use them, life is too short.

Don't do it! My mum and dad did this and were saving all the best things and new things they had bought for retirement. My dad sadly passed away 6 weeks before they both retired and it has always, always stuck with me. Live in the now! Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Wear and use whatever you want. Today is the BEST day so use your best things.

Gosh, I'm loving your updates, Op!

I do the same 😭

Just read your updates which are lovely! Absolutely keep fighting that old mindset and continue to work on the new way of thinking that you’re worth a bit of self care and wearing your nicest clothes and using your best makeup. You will feel better about yourself and in turn it will be easier to realise that you deserve it. Good for you that you’ve already started today.

If it's any consolation to anyone on here, I lived in rented bedsits for years with shared bathrooms. Any time I received nice bath and shower stuff for Christmas etc I never used it because I didn't want to use such lovely things in a draughty old rented bathroom.
Fast forward 20 years and I have a collection of lovely bath stuff. But the ingredients are not made to last 20 years.

I used to do this with perfumes and only use cheap ones on day to day , I threw away about £300 worth as they expired all almost full. Now I just use the designer ones and always get compliments, don’t need to buy cheap ones which probably was a false economy!

OP if you are weirder than you thought then so am I and a lot of others on this thread who've admitted to doing similar things 😆

To the person who said it must be something psychological, well yes that's the point, that's what we're here discussing and ways to overcome it.
Some of us doing well so far!

As Ma in Little House on the Prairie said, 'they're not for special occasions, they're for special people'.

am going to have my coffee what was my " best " mug but is now just my mug x

Beautiful 💟

I'm so pleased to read this! Well done you. Put your old leggings in the bin, and treat yourself with new ones. That cheesy L'Oréal advert was right, you know - you ARE worth it.

I know I need to stop this

Stop doing it then.

Seriously. What is actually preventing you from putting a new pair of leggings on or spraying yourself with some perfume?

This isn't about 'can't be bothered' because putting on a nice new jumper or your best coat doesn't take any more effort than putting on an old scruffy jumper or the coat you've had for 20 years.

You either have some sort of subconscious OCD thing about not using new things, or there's something psychological going on where you're somehow telling yourself you don't deserve nice things. Either way, you need to address this and start living your life to the full and using your nice things instead of 'saving them for best' because the way you're living at the moment sounds miserable to me.

My lovely friend had an equally lovely DM, who would welcome me into her house like another daughter. A hot drink was always on offer - served in an old mug which was probably given away free with the coffee, and grimly functional.
Sadly, she died, the house was cleared, I went to visit my friend in her own home.
Afternoon tea was served on the most beautiful vintage teaset, and I commented on how elegant it was,
You can probably guess; she had found it when clearing the family home, with many other pieces of beautiful china which had not even been displayed in a cabinet, in case they got damaged. My friend was making an absolute point of using a different teaset every day, and relishing elegant afternoon tea, with silent thanks to DM for the simple pleasure it gave her.
Jesus commands us to "Love your neighbour as yourself" , so treat yourself with kindness, and your neighbour will reap the benefits.

Many years ago I watched a friend put her socks on. They were lovely socks - no holes and fluffy - she put them on slowly and carefully and smoothed them down. I realised that she loved herself. I took that as a lesson and try to treat myself the same way.

Gosh this resonates so much with me, and with so many others on this thread. I would love a daily/weekly 'get ready with us in your 'saving for best' clothes and use your best perfumes and cosmetics' post.

I find this so difficult. I wouldn't say I'm depressed either, but my self worth is tenuous and dips to zero so easily. I only really learned how to apply make up in my mid thirties, and now have some really lovely cosmetics but find it increasingly more difficult to make myself sit down and put make up on. I used to wear make up most days.
I also tend to wear the same clothes for four days in a row, when I used to change my clothes daily.
My winter coat has needed to be replaced for two years and I've finally done that, but I haven't worn it yet because it's 'new'.

Every now and then I get myself by the scruff of the neck and manage to change my clothes more regularly, make an effort, and it does make me feel so much better. Perhaps consistent practice would help? It feels like it is hard-coded.