For not wanting to host christmas dinner for my friends?

Is there any reason they can’t host it their parents house and send the parents out for a meal. They still seem to be in kid mode and wanting everyone else to host.

Or if you were interested you could provide the venue and they could do all the paying, cooking, hosting and tidying away.

I don't think, intrinsically, that a group of friends discussing together and perhaps suggesting to do something at the house of the person for which that sort of event would be easiest/best is weird. But I do think it's perferctly okay if the person whose house it is doesn't want to for whatever reason. If you did do it, in a situation like this I'd ask for proper contributions from everyone in terms of food and drink and as it's clear you're not that keen on the prep/cleaning up, I'd add that in too - right, Dave, you're the one who wants this so you're on washing up duty, Maria you're doing the drying up and Penny, can you come an hour early to help with table settings etc.

But at the end of the day, if you don't want to you don't have to.

Depends really n how much you want to hang out with your friends.

Personally I'm quite happy with providing a plate of food and/or drink and go to someone's.

I'm also happy for people to bring stuff and hang here.

The reason we often go to someone specifics house is varied. For example if friend without kids they came here so ds could be in bed.

During day with kids we went to friends with kids who have big houses and gardens.

I live in a flat so if playing loud board games we'd either have an earlier meet up here or later at someone's house where we won't piss the neighbours off quite so much!

But if you really dont want people at yours then you just say "Xmas food as a group sounds great - how about x place. These dates work for us - what works for you?"

Oh and we all tidy food away together, wash up on night and no friend expects a deep clean before they visit. They come to see me - not inspect my house!

Just laugh and say no thanks we are just having it the two of us! He was cheeky and you should have cut it off there and then - not say something where he could offer a 'solution'. If it comes up again just say nope we are enjoying it on our own.

Your friend sounds as though they are overcomplicating it. Their friend must feel the friendship is strong enough to invite themselves over! I would just tell them I was happy to host a "bring a plate party" but nothing more than that.
Surely if you like them all that would not be too much trouble. If they are not satisfied with that that then just ignore the request.

It isn't just the cost though. It is the preparation, cooking, cleaning up as well. Is he going to do it all? I hate when people make arrangements for YOUR house. My narcissistical distant db did something similar, even took the liberty of picking up an M&S food catalogue to discuss with him, his partner, and dm.They had prearranged to come to ours for Christmas day.
We have two young dcs and a 4 seater dinner table, we used to have 6, and db wasn't overly keen we had changed it. Yet despite this, we are the ones with the house. God, I'm pleased he is now estranged. We are having a cosy Christmas just the 4 of us.

Ahh I see, would you want a gathering at your place or is it purely just the cost that’s stopping you? If you wanted to then I think everyone bringing a dish and a bottle is a good idea that way the cost is split but if you don’t want to then just say no sorry we haven’t the time this year

I’m confused is this a problem your friend has or a problem you have? You open with writing for a friend who needs advice but then go on to talk about you and your partner

It's not just the cost of food - I'm hosting a large dinner party at Christmas because I owe several people hospitality, and I have a list as long as your arm of things to organise. Crockery for 3 courses, cutlery, glasses for fizz, wine and water, table mats, napkins, nibbles to start, coffee and mints for after, water carafe and condiments for the table, decorations for the table, etc, etc. Everywhere has to be tidy - I'll have to move the piles of crap off the dining chairs and table - and clean, of course. My kitchen is in full view from the dining table, so it can't be too chaotic. And then there's the shopping for ingredients. We live rurally, so there is always the dread that our local small supermarkets will be out of mushrooms or sprouts or lemons. Cooking will have to start the day before, as there's such a lot to do. I suppose it's like hosting Christmas for a large family gathering, which lots of people do, but it's a LOT of work. Your friend should just say no firmly, even if guests offer to bring plates of food. Don't do it unless you have to!

Yanbu

I would suggest going out somewhere and everyone paying for themselves. It’s fair and square that way.

If your friend does invite people over, it can be ok BUT as long as everyone contributes and brings food and alcohol.

The problem with this of course is people invariably bring as little as possible or conveniently forget to bring anything at all, and you end up shouldering the lions share of the cost. I’ve been stung very badly before.

Your friend already has her tradition set with her partner, the MAN (surprise fucking surprise ) wants free labour from your friend.... he can sod off and host everyone himself when he gets his own place.

It’s not normal to pay for rounds of drinks in Norway, I’ve been told, due to the expense. Your friend just needs to laugh and say ‘No way’. Inviting yourself to someone’s apartment is super cheeky.

But they don’t want to?!!!!!!!

When we were younger my partner and I would host as we were the first in a flat big enough etc and everyone would bring something of the Xmas food/drink so the cost was shared. You don’t have to host if you don’t want to, obviously, but if you are worried about cost/effort it’s a good way to split it.

So just say no!

He's a cheeky beggar. I'd honestly just say nope, let's all go out for a Christmas meal somewhere. End of discussion.