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Tongue piercing

35 replies

Claire903 · 25/11/2024 07:09

I've been on a few dates with someone.
It was going well. I had honestly given up on meeting someone, so was pleasantly surprised and enjoying spending time with him.

Then on Friday we went out and both probably had too much too drink. He said some hurtful things that I remember about my tongue piercing. He delivered it in a jokey way but said that I only have a tongue piercing for giving fellatio and I must be really good at it.

He then went on to ask if I wear it in work. When I said yes, he said I shouldn't wear it in a professional environment. Now I'm worried that he's right and people will judge me and think the same as him.

I haven't talked to him about what he said. Should I just completely cut him off? or do I give him another chance and put it down to the alcohol? And is he right?!

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EmotionalSupportPotato · 26/11/2024 20:06

Well done

Claire903 · 26/11/2024 20:05

Otterhound · 26/11/2024 18:41

I think he is being a nob
Personally they give me the complete ick and I couldn’t date someone who had one but I if chose to I wouldn’t then make an issue of it

@Otterhound i think that's fair enough

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Claire903 · 26/11/2024 20:04

AnotherChildFreeCatLady · 26/11/2024 18:32

Def ditch the guy. Regarding what people at work think, I would say, they probably don't give it a second thought. I had a tongue piercing when I was younger, I don't now, if I saw someone with a tongue piercing I would say oh cool, a piercing. He sounds like a judgmental prick, don't think you have to worry about anybody at work caring about it one way or the other.

@AnotherChildFreeCatLady thanks. It definitely hasn't held me back at work. Without being super successful I've done alright professionally.

He's trying to meet up with me at the weekend but it's a definite "no"

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Otterhound · 26/11/2024 18:41

I think he is being a nob
Personally they give me the complete ick and I couldn’t date someone who had one but I if chose to I wouldn’t then make an issue of it

AnotherChildFreeCatLady · 26/11/2024 18:32

Def ditch the guy. Regarding what people at work think, I would say, they probably don't give it a second thought. I had a tongue piercing when I was younger, I don't now, if I saw someone with a tongue piercing I would say oh cool, a piercing. He sounds like a judgmental prick, don't think you have to worry about anybody at work caring about it one way or the other.

Claire903 · 26/11/2024 08:46

BMW6 · 26/11/2024 08:27

You were absolutely right to dump him, but can i ask what's the point of a tongue piercing if not for sexual enhancement? It's not decorative as not visible so I always thought must be for sex.

@BMW6 style, fashion, sensory feeling

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BMW6 · 26/11/2024 08:27

You were absolutely right to dump him, but can i ask what's the point of a tongue piercing if not for sexual enhancement? It's not decorative as not visible so I always thought must be for sex.

Sugarcoldturkey · 26/11/2024 08:21

Claire903 · 26/11/2024 07:20

@EmotionalSupportPotato exactly. That's why I had to nip it in the bud straight away before I got majorly emotionally invested

Great news!

Claire903 · 26/11/2024 08:18

SauvignonBlonk · 26/11/2024 07:37

He sounds awful OP. Well done for ditching him.

I was nervous about doing it but it felt great saying it @SauvignonBlonk

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SauvignonBlonk · 26/11/2024 07:37

He sounds awful OP. Well done for ditching him.

Claire903 · 26/11/2024 07:20

Sugarcoldturkey · 25/11/2024 09:37

Bluntly, this is exactly why people end up in shitty relationships. They excuse the inexcusable.

@EmotionalSupportPotato exactly. That's why I had to nip it in the bud straight away before I got majorly emotionally invested

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Claire903 · 26/11/2024 07:18

ItGhoul · 25/11/2024 10:42

Why on earth would you want to continue dating someone who criticises your choices around your appearance and tells you what you should/shouldn't do 'in a professional environment', let alone tells you that you only got it so you could give better blow-jobs?

He doesn't have any respect for you and he's a neggy, controlling prick. Seriously, dump him.

@ItGhoul I have done, I feel better for it as well. Thanks for giving men that nudge in the right direction

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Claire903 · 26/11/2024 07:17

EmotionalSupportPotato · 25/11/2024 08:16

How ridiculous. I wouldn't bother with him again.

@EmotionalSupportPotato thanks for your comments. I messaged him last night saying we should stop seeing other!

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Claire903 · 26/11/2024 07:16

Catza · 25/11/2024 08:15

even now, 5 years later I occasionally try to find it with my teeth 😂. But no, it’s been fairly easy to get used to not having it.
Honestly, the only comments I got were from young children asking me to stick my tongue out. If someone though something privately in their head, thankfully they had sense not to verbalise it.

Haha could imagine it feeling strange once removed. I've received comments about it over the years but more just on nights out from people I chatted to when I was in my 20's/early 30s.

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UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 25/11/2024 10:46

Completely disrespectful of him to criticise your appearance and make assumptions about why you got the piercing.

ItGhoul · 25/11/2024 10:42

Why on earth would you want to continue dating someone who criticises your choices around your appearance and tells you what you should/shouldn't do 'in a professional environment', let alone tells you that you only got it so you could give better blow-jobs?

He doesn't have any respect for you and he's a neggy, controlling prick. Seriously, dump him.

Sugarcoldturkey · 25/11/2024 09:37

Claire903 · 25/11/2024 07:16

@RampantIvy It feels like it was out of character, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. Dentist just asks if I clean it 3 times per day, which I do, hasn't discouraged me to have it.

Bluntly, this is exactly why people end up in shitty relationships. They excuse the inexcusable.

EmotionalSupportPotato · 25/11/2024 08:16

EmotionalSupportPotato · 25/11/2024 08:16

How ridiculous. I wouldn't bother with him again.

Him not you

EmotionalSupportPotato · 25/11/2024 08:16

Claire903 · 25/11/2024 08:09

It's people's perceptions he doesn't like. He must of liked it when he was begging me to go back to his on Friday. I didn't btw

How ridiculous. I wouldn't bother with him again.

Catza · 25/11/2024 08:15

Claire903 · 25/11/2024 08:10

How's it been since having it out, did it take a bit to get used to?
I've had comments like that before, though not many and not from someone that I was dating.

even now, 5 years later I occasionally try to find it with my teeth 😂. But no, it’s been fairly easy to get used to not having it.
Honestly, the only comments I got were from young children asking me to stick my tongue out. If someone though something privately in their head, thankfully they had sense not to verbalise it.

Claire903 · 25/11/2024 08:10

Catza · 25/11/2024 07:51

I had my tongue pierced at 18, took it out at 38. Not once in 20 years have anyone dared to say something like that to me. Throw the whole man in a bin.

How's it been since having it out, did it take a bit to get used to?
I've had comments like that before, though not many and not from someone that I was dating.

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Claire903 · 25/11/2024 08:09

EmotionalSupportPotato · 25/11/2024 07:37

It's fine for him not to like it but the way he expressed that was out of order.

It's people's perceptions he doesn't like. He must of liked it when he was begging me to go back to his on Friday. I didn't btw

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Catza · 25/11/2024 07:51

I had my tongue pierced at 18, took it out at 38. Not once in 20 years have anyone dared to say something like that to me. Throw the whole man in a bin.

Falseshamrok · 25/11/2024 07:39

God he sounds awful.

EmotionalSupportPotato · 25/11/2024 07:37

It's fine for him not to like it but the way he expressed that was out of order.