To request no more photos are taken of me?

This.

Other people don't see you that way and just want a photo to remember you by. When you look back on those photos in the future you'll wonder what you were bothered about because they'll look fine - that has been my experience.

You are in your 30s and size 10 to 12. Read that again. Have you ever had therapy very kind?

I spent years hating my photo being taken. But, when I've looked back I don't know why I was so funny about having it done as the photos are ok. I have decided now, at the age of 52 and really looking it, to embrace photos. Thankfully my dd takes quite a few, mainly with pets which I don't know about at the time, otherwise no one would have any record of me 🤣

But, it is a hard thing to embrace when you feel so self conscious about it, so I do understand.

I tried doing this when my weight crept up a few years ago but still got random family pics of me in circulation (one that sticks in my mind a rather unflattering one of me at nephews birthday bbq sitting with my son eating, I looked like a fucking barrell)

You've asked that they delete the photos of you they post online, which the twats don't, but how about making it clear you don't want to be in the photos in the first place? Simply say "I don't want my photo online so please don't post photos with me in them", and if they do the whole "Oh you look fine, don't be silly", say "I find it distressing being in photos, and I do not want to be online. I really don't want to fall out over this so please respect my wishes on this". They need to be told that even though they don't understand and see no harm, that it'll damage your relationship with them if they go against what you're asking.

You mentioned you thought one side of your face had drooped. and someone else above mentioned a possible medical condition. Do you have someone who could give you an unbiased truth about changes in your face because if they really are as you described there could be a medical reason behind it worth a chat with your GP.

I know you won't believe me but at least to some extent this will be in your head. I absolutely hate photos of myself and it is a fact I'm not that photogenic, carry weight on tummy too and size 12 but always look bigger think maybe bad posture?
On holiday with my daughter I sent my mum a photo of us both and said DD hates the photo of herself she's so silly. Mums like you always say the same! And it's true and she looked lovely in the photo.
Your own perception of your self in photos will be skewed, that said if you don't want photos taken then don't I also actively avoid them

I’m sure you’re perfectly lovely just as you are and that your friends are pleased to have you in their photos for the memories.
Instead of saving for Botox (it only lasts a few weeks) why not treat yourself to a colour consultation and shape/style analysis with a personal stylist instead? Learn your colours and how to dress for your body shape - this will make you feel more confident and help you present your best self. You’d be surprised at how wearing the wrong colours can drain your face and the right ones can brighten and highlight. I had mine done recently and when I wear black I look horrendous, navy is much kinder to me. I had loads of black in my wardrobe!
But above all of that please be kind to yourself, negative talk to yourself is not healthy nor helpful. I’m sure none of your friends and family would describe you as an ugly duckling nor fat and frumpy.

I went through several years of avoiding photographs when I was younger. I regret it now. I don't have a real record of that time. I really didn't look as terrible as I thought I did, and part of the reason I didn't always look good was just the result of untrained people taking snapshots on film. The exposure was wrong half the time, so it made you look somewhat ill.

I'm like this too photos of me just don't look nice. But like @BarbaraHoward I've found I like photos when I'm looking back. So photos of me 10 years ago I hated at the time, but now they're the memories of those events and I'm glad I'm in them. So now I get the photos taken but don't really focus on them. In 10 years time when I'm older and wrinkling I'll look back on them and be glad I have them. I wouldn't say i look great in the mirror either, but I look nicer then I do in photos. I've tried a few times over the years and I just can't smile at the right time in the right way, my face looks much worse in repose, my arms look fatter, my belly seems more obvious, but none of those things will matter that much in 10 years time.

I also fee the same as you. No advice but you are not alone.

What's the secret?

The secret is that they are taking the photos so they can make sure they look good before they post them.

And with a selfie the photographer is right at the front of the photo so dominating it (not in a bad way) and will instinctively make sure they look good before they take it.

I bet if you looked at a sample of five group photos of an evening out and took a good look at the people who weren't posting them, they would look good in some, ordinary in some and bad in some. Same as you.

Most of us think we look odd in photos because it's unusual for someone to have a symmetrical face, so the image that the camera picks up (which is what everyone else sees) is not the same as the reverse-image we're used to seeing in the bathroom mirror .
Also the usual reaction when standing in front of a mirror is to stand a little straighter and suck in your tummy, but this is not really how people stand, generally, so an unguarded photo will often catch us looking a little frumpy.
I found peace with the fact that I am, objectively speaking, "plain" while I was quite young, and I don't see the point in stressing it. If I was happy to go out in public like that, then why get worried about a photo of it?

I'm not photogenic. A handful of times over the years conditions have been just right, and I treasure those pics. I don't think I'm vain, I don't look at my reflection all day, but it does grate that I'm not photogenic. For the most part I just don't look at pics though, I don't ask anyone not to take it, i just know the outcome won't be for me. It's the same for me with the mirrors at work. At home I look fine at work I look tired and dishevelled. Somehow the world gets on with this other version of me just fine!

I'm going to give some practical suggestions to help with how you deal with how you feel.
Facebook does allow you to stop tagged photos appearing on your timeline which may help in part.
Improving your sleep may help your skin, you could try ashwagandha which helps relieve stress and makes you sleepy. Also magnesium at bedtime, in the morning b vitamins, and an omega supplement as they also helps sleep.
Skin - get a good eye cream which reduces bags and dark circles, and a YSL Touche Éclat works wonders.
Tummy - you may be carrying visceral fat, increasing your fibre intake really helps this.
Your friends don't see what you see, and they love having you in the photos and want to remember those happy get togethers.

I think it's bad manners to post your photo online without your permission. I wouldn't like that either.

I agree with others saying that you sound highly self critical. Maybe practice noticing what you do like about your appearance/body. It's hard when we are surrounded by unrealistic images.

We think we look worse in photos than we do. This is partly because people are much more critical of themselves than others, and partly because people are used to looking in the mirror - when they are fully groomed and subconsciously will choose flattering poses; e.g. tilting head up to avoid a hint of a double chin - rather than being caught on the hop.

If there's a photo of you on a night out with your mouth gaping open mid-laugh, bright red face because the lighting has under-exposed you and seemingly awful posture because you're leaning over to speak to your friend, it's easy to think that's what you 'look like' but a snapshot in time is not representative of your general appearance.

Im so awkward in photos. I don't like I actually look bad but I take an awful photo because I hate having it taken I just look uncomfortable. Most of my friends know that now and I just offer to take photos instead or they wait until I'm drunk as I don't care then.

I'd offer to take the photos if I were you.

I bet you don't look half as bad as you feel though. But at 40, maybe it's time for you to start taking care of your skin etc. I recently got my mum started on using tretinoin at 67 and her skin looks fantastic.

There are pretty much no photos of me as I’m so avoidant. I’ve been known to literally run if someone pulls out their phone to take one. It’s pathological and steeped in some trauma so I honestly understand. The advent of phone cameras has been a complete nightmare for those of us who hate our photos being taken.

Wrong thread

I feel the same, but now I think it is a shame as there are virtually no pictures of me with my grandchildren. Now I have lost a lot of weight I don’t mind pictures being taken of me, especially with my DGC, but I remain unphotogenic! But in the future I am sure they will want to see pictures. I regret not having many pics of my grandparents and none on the paternal side.

Post a pic and let's see 🤣

I'm a kind funny person and I'd rather be known for that.

A couple of years ago someone said I had "a kind face" and that really stuck with me. Of all the things we strive for and fixate on looks-wise, how nice to have something ageless and positive as being kind. And funny too. These are the best qualities and much more fundamental to who you are and your worth as a person. It's what your friends see which is why they want to capture memories with you and can't see an issue with it.

I'm 10 years older than you and have the one side of face droopier thing and definitely dumpier at size 16, but it's how I look and I know looking back when I'm older I'll think I looked okay and wonder why I wasted any time worrying about it.

I'm not saying you're wrong to have these insecurities. We all do. But if you can try to give them less headspace and actively try to give less of a crap about photos online then you will be happier. Think more about your positive points and the fun you've had with your friends and don't waste your money on Botox or nose jobs. Especially with a dd.

I get what you mean about looking fat. I’m a size ten, sometimes an eight, and always manage to look massive! I think it’s where you carry your weight - so boobs and tummy make you look larger than you are!

Say NO more pictures, please!
Have a glasses, moustache mask or a covid mask in your hand bag which you wear to every party until your friends heed your request.