People seem angrier somehow

I hear you.
Last week I was driving back home at around 3.30pm. On a horrible stretch of road which goes down quite quickly from 70 to 50 then to 30 as it goes around a huge bend. The road then splits and I was following a huge lorry with foreign licence plate with a company van glued to my rear the whole time.
The road then straightens and goes into 2 lanes. I moved over to the left lane as soon as I could and the lorry remained in the right lane. It was going slow but I could sense that they were unsure of where they were going so I held back a little not wanting to undertake them. Well that incensed the van behind me who remained glued to my bumper flashing lights at me honking his horn. Not sure where he wanted me to go as I was in the left lane and a huge lorry on the right boxing us in.
Van eventually overtook me then cut straight back in and slammed his brakes on.
Then continued to do the same all the way up the a road. Getting in the wrong lane at every island. Cutting me up. Slamming his brakes on. Screaming at me to get out of my car at every island.
Very frightening. The rage that was within him when I'd done nothing wrong.
I was so shaken that I couldn't remember his full licence plate or his full reg to report him.
He was literally held up for seconds. Just seconds and he'd have caused me to have a very serious accident if I'd not held back. There was nowhere to pull over and he was waiting at every island until I got to it

I think it's also different stages of life, etc. I have little children and the main thing I notice is that lots and lots of people are really kind to them, engage with them in public, etc. Obviously you get the odd arsehole but overall it's really nice. Given that and that I've also aged out of street sexual harassment, the world feels much friendlier to me than it did 15 years ago, but I don't think anything has changed, my circumstances have. I think a lot of people find that the world feels more hostile and confusing as they age but that doesn't mean that there's been some big cultural shift.

Danny Wallace's book "Fuck your very much" shows research that shows rudeness is catching, contagious. Well worth a read (it's also funny!)

I think more people are being radicalised by the Internet and social media than we care to admit.

Modern media, not just social media but also the news, mean that you know if your thoughts are shared and they trigger new views too and all this makes you angrier. Whereas in the 70s for example you might have a chat with family and friends and air views and that's it.

Things that make me mildly annoyed, I go on Twitter or Mumsnet and read more and I think yeah too right! And then I feel REALLY angry!

I live in a 'nice' town and I've noticed a large shift in the mood over the last year. We now have groups of young men loitering in the market square who are quite intimidating and openly smoking cannabis. As a result, I'll go to town only for what's needed and pick the local retail park for browsing instead. The result seems to be everyone is on edge and defensive, so there's no stopping for chats which increases the tension. Everyone is on a higher level of alert and can only think about their immediate family and friends (and I include myself in that), with no capacity for strangers.

There's a general lack of optimism and I can't remember the last time any news headline made me feel like there was going to be any good change.

I agree social media algorithms are a major factor.

I was going to name change for this, but what the hell. About 2 years ago over the space of about 2 months DH became grumpy and negative and his political views shifted abruptly. First I worried he had a hormonal imbalance or illness then, when our sex life died, I suspected an affair.

Finally our adult DC, who had also started to worry, had a look at his Twitter account. About 3 months earlier he'd gone from liking the odd sports post to liking the odd political post. Within a couple of weeks he was liking more and more increasingly divisive content, up to 200 likes a week. Stuff he would have laughed at people for believing just a few months earlier. I searched some of the accounts he was liking and so many were obviously bot accounts. He had naively let himself become radicalised.

He was defensive but agreed to delete his old account and start a new one and stop engaging with anything contentious. Within ONE WEEK he was noticeably happier. Months later he had completely reengaged with family life, our sex life recovered and he was enjoying life and excited about the future again.

I am still shocked how quickly it happened and how my sensible moderate DH was sucked in. The funny thing is that I'd spent a lot of time talking to the younger DC about the danger of social media algorithms and the necessity to actively manage them, but never dreamed I'd have to do the same with DH who, back then, rarely engaged with social media.

Now, with Twitter/X likes being private we would not have been able to spot the cause of the problem so quickly and intervene. I think the speed of DH's radicalisation was due to him not realising people could see what he'd liked. His perception of anonymity.

I agree with everything's that been said and I've been feeling that too.
But society is made up of individuals so if its not working in tbe way you'd like, we can all chose to behave differently. Be that patient person when driving, that considerate and polite person when out and about, that friendly person when in the company of strangers.

There is definitely a thing about manners. In the parts of the U.K. where it feels good, manners culture applies. In the parts where it feels bad, it is all about rules. People insisting they can do what they want, there is no law against it, or you have to comply. There is no latitude.

Manners culture has a lot of implicit understanding in it. You do this I do that, and all of it goes unsaid.

By the time you’ve got people insisting on rules and standards to regulate behaviour then there are problems. People get very pissed off.

I haven't noticed it irl but all the angry people seem to be on mumsnet now!

Japan is a homogenous culture.

Why are these issues - high cost of living, overcrowding, covid, the weather (ffs 😂) used as reasons for being rude, though? My mortgage and Sainsbury’s bill has gone up, like millions of others, but I don’t behave like a cunt. I live in the north west where it rains pretty much every day (but there are fewer people and I definitely think overcrowding is a south east thing) but I just get on with life? What’s the point of snarling at people in the street?

Certainly Covid has had a significant impact but it remains to be seen over time how much societal change it’s caused.

Overcrowding, cost of living for even just the basics, static wages, social media and easy of access to extreme pornography are factors in making the UK simply a foul place to live at the moment.

It’s very clear there has been a further breakdown in social behaviour and it’s getting worse every passing year. Crime rates, drug use, attacks, verbal use, poor attitudes towards women all increasing.

I live in a semi rural town in the South East. It’s changed in 10 years from being a peaceful, quiet pleasant place to being a traffic clogged, loud, cannabis fuelled toy town with faceless homogeneous new build estates.

There is no community! It feels dystopian; whole communities live shut in their tiny boxes, ignoring everyone around them. Poor services too; thousands and thousands more people here now but no increase in basic infrastructure.

Queues for everything! Everything! Police not following up reports. GP appointments take 3/4 weeks now and like another poster says, nothing works! Bus services cut, trains are extremely expensive, traffic is unreal.

What I am really disliking is the heavy focus on being constantly “ correct” and for want of a better word “ watched” in society. Yet we have on the flip side, rampant lawlessness which isn’t being addressed.

By that I mean the outward obsession with “woke”; so safeguarding, you can’t really have an opinion, causing offence easily, our lives being completely intruded upon to the extent that when I apply for a job now I have to explain why I left a student job when I was 19 from 30 years ago.

Every aspect of my life as a law abiding citizen is logged, noted. Yet shoplifting, drugs, fraud, attacks, domestic violence is mostly being ignored by the police, with criminals being let out early.

Nothing is done and cases rarely make it court. No one can afford lawyers either which is really affecting those trying to seek justice.

I honestly find this topsy turvy weird social approach in the UK quite bizarre, scary and very 1984.

I’ve also noticed can increase in men being rude. Fuelled by “ equality” no doubt!

Men treat women like commodities much of the time still. Society still allows men to walk away from their childcare responsibilities- look at the rubbish child maintenance service! You can just up and leave your family - no consequence. I am generalising of course, but the attitude to women is that men can just do whatever they like and we can see that in the increase in sexual assaults, rapes, etc.

Divorce courts have changed and now men are given parity in equity no matter what career sacrifices women make to bring up children.

It may seem outwardly that women have more rights but I’m not seeing it on the ground.

I’m seeing men really feeling entitled and trying to constant assert control or mansplain me.

Saying that, I do meet lots of lovely people every day and my daughter received excellent care at Kings College Hospital last week. My vets are amazing and the baristas at my local coffee shop are great, so friendly !

I have noticed this a lot too. It's pretty dispiriting.

I heard someone on a random TV show the other day say, "good manners provide quality of life", and this really struck a chord with me.

I know that I feel a lot better in myself if I make an effort (not always easy) to be polite and patient in public life - not get annoyed on the road, let other cars out, hold doors open for others, smile, let people ahead of me in queues if they're obviously in a rush or wrangling small children. I also obviously feel better when others are also polite and considerate.

I guess the idea is that being well mannered and respectful of others creates a more pleasant society for everyone, both for the givers and receivers of respect and consideration.

Exactly. Money is tighter than ever, and companies are constantly pushing their luck by cutting quality to the bare bones and hiking prices. I'm on a crusade to send back absolutely everything and anything if I spot it's shoddy quality.
Tired of feeling like I'm being conned, and I expect many people feel the same and that also probably contributes to a general feeling of hostility.

I agree with your sentiments but I also think when money is tighter that people are more inclined to send that coffee back if it isn’t perfect, or send clothes back if they aren’t sure that they will last.

Sacrificing the young to the old.
Very well put.
Many people secretly rage about that.
It covers a variety of scenarios.

What a surprise, being forced to live in this dump of a country.

Yes definitely, I was just thinking this the other day!
Reading an exchange on our village social media where a guy completely lost it at something completely innocent someone had posted!
Other drivers are so rude and impatient too

I think we’ve elevated extreme individualism and lost a sense of being a society and smaller communities. I grew up with the form er and now see a massive difference in general attitudes. Before people would definitely often put others first (eg disabled,person getting on a bus as mentioned by PP above).

Internet too has had hugely negative influence on our attention and how we spend out time. More individually spent time. Less connection with others in groups.

Just a thought; when I recently read about Danish life it sounded as though they grow up in a culture that gives very high value in an overt way to society and choose rules and ways that support this. I wish we could realise what we are losing and change direction so people feel more connected and regain hope.

I have noticed an untick of women acting just a bit shitty in a way I never noticed before and think is new. Minor things like complaining that the £3 coffee isn’t quite as they requested (because “mostly water with a splash of oat milk” is super clear), returning something they’ve worn once but didn’t like, turning their car in the middle of a busy street when there is a roundabout ahead, dissing the teacher on WhatsApp or just generally being a bit but not overtly rude.

As for why, I don’t know. Social media? Lack of empathy? I hate it though.

I think social media is the biggest problem. People just go down a rabbit hole of algorithms that reinforce any stereotypical views they already had.

And customer service is shit these days. That is the fault of Covid.

I’ve been driving for 35 years and I have had no more aggressive experiences with male drivers than I ever had. They’ve always hated women once they’re behind the wheel

A couple of observations:

You can’t tell who the wealthier demographic are. A substantial number who work, and are home owners are struggling financially. Good quality clothes and cars built to last may have been bought in more abundant times.

Some problems cannot be solved with a bit of extra money. Friend whose parents need carers is stressed. There are a shortage of paid carers in their area, meaning companies cannot offer the amount of daily care visits her parents need, so she’s having to pick up the slack herself, in between working and caring for kids.