to think boarding schools are no longer ok...

Remember boarding from 11 is still normal in remote places, these are state boarding of course and weekly rather than termly. I certainly don't think under 11's should be boarding without exceptional circumstances but from 11 plenty of children board just fine

@BaklavaRocks I'm both. Mine don't board because my circumstances don't require it. I will absolutely agree that it's not for everyone and isn't usually 'better" than home, but I do also have experience of children who board due to very fragmented home situations and find more stability and guidance there than they otherwise would.

People forget that DC can perceive the most horrendous behaviour towards them as completely normal because that's all they know

So to them they're fine when to us it's barbaric

There was an awful documentary about Norland nannies - at the time they had a hotel for babies and younger children.
There was a 2nd birthday party for a child whose parents were away on business, one of the nannies was in tears - she'd helped host the 1st birthday as well.

Earlier I was chatting to someone about Old Etonians in film:

Damian Lewis
Hugh Laurie
Eddie Redmayne
Tom Hiddleston
Dominic West

is there something that early abandonment helps with?

I was desperate to go to boarding school but my parents could never have afforded it.

@OonaStubbs I went to (a very large and under performing) state school, DB went to boarding school. Who do you think performed better academically and went on to HE?

Fair enough if you feel your child would perform better in the private school.system but there are many day schools to choose from without sending your child away.

DC are good at keeping secrets

If they say anything to a teacher they know life could be 10 X worse for them

They're not stupid

All this you can come to us if you need to talk just doesn't cut it at some schools, most schools actually

i know two people who went to a boarding school and were insanely happy and countless others who said it broke them. Personally, I wouldn’t risk it. A child’s place is in their home. A boarding school sounds like something from Oliver Twist in my opinion.

My DH boarded from age 10 or so. He says what a great time he had and would see his education as excellent.

I see the many many ways in which he is emotionally damaged. He doesn’t want to dig into it, I don’t push it, but I’m very aware of it and make sure I counter it in our joint parenting of our children. Who do not go to boarding school.

Did anyone watch "Britain's youngest boarders".

The girls were constantly crying to go home.

I don't really have a problem with boarding 13-18 if it's the child's choice. It may give some children access to opportunities they otherwise wouldn't have, and the half-terms, long holidays and exeats mean that the children spend almost as much time at home then they do at school. Many parents will drop in to support their children for Saturday matches and other school events as well.

In terms of younger kids, I think flexi-boarding from maybe 10 or 11 is probably ok in terms of promoting organisational skills and independence (and a bit like a sleepover), but as for sending 7-8 year old off for the term with a trunk and tuck box, I'd hope those days are past for most parents.

I do think boarding as a concept is a bit odd, but I also find the zero tolerance, treat children as criminals approach that presently applies in a lot of secondaries odd too. Both seem a bit counter-intuitive in terms of raising happy, secure, non-anxious children.

I don't see a problem with it. State schools turn out far more fucked up individuals than boarding schools do.

They're not a good system.

And it leads to a lot of the students that go there to have issues with forming close relationships.

Thanks @BaklavaRocks. It is something that I struggle to make my peace with - I have a very good relationship with my parents but this is the elephant in the room. I think they do feel guilty but won't ever admit it. As my DC have grown older, I find it harder to understand. Sometimes when DS is acting up DM will quip 'and that's why we sent DB to boarding school!' I've had to push back a bit because it isn't funny at all.

If 18 is the average age for a child to leave home then you have such a short amount of time with them, why would you curtail this?? Plenty of good schools to choose from that don't require boarding!

Flexi boarding is what the majority of boarders do outside of the big public schools eg Eton et al

Many factors involved and very much depending on individual and the school but a couple of my friends who had an unsettled home time due to parents divorcing were very troubled about what might be going on a home as they were removed from the situation eg ‘ will my Mum still be there when I go home for Christmas’ type of thing

Some people love boarding when they're older, but it has to be their choice. I've seen the damage boarding young kids can do - a friend has finally gone to AA for his drinking problem which largely seems to stem from the trauma decades ago of being driven to boarding school aged 8 and left there despite begging his parents not to. Just awful.

I watched the James Blunt documentary recently on Netflix and he talks about being sent to boarding school at 8yo. He comes from a very upper class background and his parents justify boarding school as sayings it's 'normal.'

I think it's child abuse.

Childhood is so fleeting so to deliberately go out of your way to miss a large section of it is completely unfathomable to me.

My dad told me that when the youngest boys started, that the older boys would line them up and pick out the best looking younger boys, and sexually abuse them

Shall I tell you? We teach them there's always an adult they can go and find at any time of day or night. We teach them it's ok to feel sad or homesick and how to cope with that, if circumstances dictate that they are going to board at school. We teach them all the independent life skills that are CONSTANTLY bemoaned on here as being absent from "mollycoddled" kids with "helicopter" parents. They are given time to play and amuse themselves, time to do any homework, loads of organised craft / sport / music / forest school type stuff, trips away or data out, cinema, film and pizza nights. Storytimes at night if they want it.

Those documentaries are, as the OP says, very old. I'm actually acquainted with a couple of the children, now adults, in them. They are lovely young people, perfectly happy and well adjusted. I don't really see the point of commenting on a thread which, by your admission you have NO experience or knowledge of. I am perfectly sure that there are many for whom it didn't suit, especially those now in their 40s and above, but it's not remotely what most people think. Much like private schools in general really.

DDs DP only went within the last few years and is still at school now just not at boarding school

It's more about what the boys do to each other and teachers not giving a shit at all

Not SA stuff just weird nasty stuff. Dangerous stuff. Could die stuff. Hazing stuff

Bloody hell

Most of my family went to boarding school. Hell would freeze over before I sent any child of mine.

I agree actually that full time nursery is too much for babies/toddlers. I worked but was lucky enough to work part time. That said, I don't know what the answer is here because life is so expensive for young families.