to think boarding schools are no longer ok...

I grew up very rurally, my mother was disabled and my father was a doctor working extremely long hours and never home until midnight. Boarding offered us the opportunity to have a much more normal life with friends, extra curricular activities etc

All the other children that lived anywhere near us went to boarding schools, and I came from a family where boarding was the norm so we always knew that we would board for secondary school and were actively excited about the prospect.

My brother chose to leave for 6th form - my sisters all chose to stay boarding (we had the choice).

There is no research that says that. The research says under threes do best in a family type environment and that can be a SAHM, childminder or grandparents. There is ZERO research that says babies and toddlers who are only looked after by their parents do better than those who who are looked after by parents and other regular care givers.
There is LOTS of evidence that boarding schools are damaging.

Well I am Inclined to agree with that comment actually.

I attended the prep school featured in the YouTube video from age 8. My experience was horrendous. My dad was in the Army and so my parents had little option but to send me to boarding school, but it was a brutal experience being plucked from home and deposited there, only allowed "out" one weekend each side of half term. I was bullied. Some of the teachers were... well let's say I doubt they'd be in the profession nowadays.

That said, having watched that TV programme it appears that there is far more (ie there is some) focus on pastoral care now. But in my view before secondary school is still too early for children to be sent away from home. None of my children have attended boarding school, nor have any of the children of anyone I know who boarded.

I'd say it's far more damaging putting a tiny, non-verbal child in a setting without their main carer for the majority of their waking hours day after day then it is sending a 13 year old who actively want to go, to a weekly boarding school where they can phone/FaceTime their parents daily and have a team of people looking out for their well-being.

Hmm...would like to see some research to back that up...

Say I agree with you (I don't ) are you saying that because Nursery isn't an ideal environment for young children its fine to send them away from age 11 or whatever?
2 very different things and I have no idea why using a nursery justifies the existence of Boarding schools - I have never used either by the way but only one of them horrifies me as a concept.

If think if it is at all possible yes. It doesn't have tobe one parent for example 2 parents could work 3 or 4 days each with maybe a grandparent picking up the other day really until 3. If this isn't possible then a nanny or childminder is probably better.

I'd say it's far more damaging putting a tiny, non-verbal child in a setting without their main carer for the majority of their waking hours day after day then it is sending a 13 year old who actively want to go, to a weekly boarding school where they can phone/FaceTime their parents daily and have a team of people looking out for their well-being.

As I said, for a very very small group of children it may be the best option but if you don't mind answering what about you? Why were you at Boarding school?

It was nice your sister was there but she wasn't a parent,it wasn't unusual at my school for the younger kids to cling to the older ones even if they weren't related

Babies at nursery come home at the end of every day, its not the same at all.
Its a tired argument thats often used when talking about Boarding schools.

I think people should follow the research. That shows for under threes childminder, SAHM or grandparents is the best option, in a family style environment. By 3 nurseries have clear benefits.
Boarding schools are damaging for children, like all institutions. Children do best at home, unless the parents are abusive or terrible parents.

I think if you were going to design, from scratch, a system where the abuse of children could flourish, you'd probably come up with the traditional boarding school. Lots of young children, geographically isolated from their parents. No way to escape at night. A closed system where you can spend weeks at a time on the premises. Everyone - adults and children - believing it's a great privilege and opportunity to be able to attend. The single biggest asset of the school being their reputation, so everyone has a huge incentive to cover up. And the parents have made a massive financial commitment, so they won't want to hear 'this is a terrible idea'.

My dad was a weekly boarder. He is in his seventies now and it still affects him today. I would never, ever send my children away to board.

So you agree that one parent should stay at home for the early years and no baby should be packed off to nursery?

British people who work abroad are choosing to do so. And even then, it is normally only one of them who has a job abroad. The other parent could remain in the UK and have the children at home.

Having children means your life changes. You can't live your life as you might have done before.

It's not that simple.

DD was keen to board because she is a very gregarious extrovert who is an only child and lives with introvert parents in the middle of nowhere. She plays multiple instruments and is very focused on a music career. Juggling lessons, practice times, performances plus school work and other extracurricular interests means that she very rarely has any downtime and most of that is spent on trains. When she is home, she's either practising, doing homework or online with her friends.

The music is her choice, and I would not dare try and interfere in what she does. I haven't told her to practice since she was about 8.

Boarding school would have given her all of that on one site, plus a built in social life with other girls her age. I felt very guilty for a long time that there was just no way we could afford it plus all the extras.

When I was at boarding school, all but one of my siblings was there too - it wasn't as if I was totally alone.

Really? When all the research shows how damaging that is for a child's education?
Read:
t.co/M8LCVtCZyL

Not necessarily, if that is realistically the only way to keep a roof over the family's heads.

Na I don't buy that.

Not necessarily, if that is realistically the only way to keep a roof over the family's heads.

Nevertheless, if it were me I would rather risk chopping and changing the child's schooling than send them to boarding school.

My mum went at 12 to one an hour or so from home. Hated it and vowed never to send us to one. She told me about one pupil who was sent there from overseas at 8 because her older sisters were already there. She only saw her parents at Christmas and the summers. Hope her sisters looked out for her.

@Silvan which is why all the research shows childminders or grandparents are best.

Yes but you’re dealing with much smaller children (and babies) with a much, much greater need for caregiver bonding and love.

@CruCru You were claiming there is no way to oversee boarding schools only being legally allowed in exceptional circumstances. I was saying with 2 minutes thought I could come up wit a way. There will be other options.
And I know a number of ex child protection workers, it is a tough job and people rarely stay in it for the whole of their career. Most get burnt out. So yes there are plenty of ex child protection social workers who could do the work. All you would have to allow is an easy way to re reregister for this specific work, if their registration has lapsed.

Paid or not, do they have time to do this as well? Or do they do less of their standard job to fit this in because it pays better?

I suppose my point is, how much of your life do you want overseen by a social worker or some other person who doesn’t share your values? The older I get, the more suspicious I am of governments - I commit no crimes and I pay taxes on time so there should be no reason for anyone to get involved in how I live my life.

I am not someone who would choose a boarding prep school. But if someone else were to decide that their child would enjoy weekly boarding at Lambrook, should they have that decision overruled by someone else? How would one ensure that that person was unbiased?

My DD goes to a boarding school as a day girl, currently in yr 6 in a tiny, very nurturing girls school. Boarding is available from yr 7 & she would absolutely love to board, but it's unaffordable.

Ironically as a single parent with zero support from anyone else, boarding would allow me to work more and may well give her a "nicer" life with some of the treats I cannot currently afford. Plus allow me to work more during term time and have a lighter load during the holidays and therefore more quality time together.

We shall see, flexi boarding is available so may prove the best option for us both if I can increase my working to both afford and justify this, but the fundamental reason would be because she wants to be there. I'm not sure I'd ever choose it for her, but understand the attraction of "sleepovers" with her friends, in a place she truly loves.
We are very very close, as it's been just us from day one with no support, so I'm pretty sure her preferences are nothing to do with a failing in our relationship.
All children, families and schools are different & we're mostly all trying our best in our own unique circumstances.

Nothing is perfect, but I'll never understand how people can't see that different things work for different set ups. In the perfect world, I'd be a SAHM to lots of children with a supportive partner and family, but unfortunately that's not how it worked out, so like most others I'm doing my best with what I have.

@CruCru The service would not be free. It could be a lucrative side gig for social workers.