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Original poster

Would you bring Dh food back from the restaurant on your birthday?

105 replies

Almostthattimeoftheyearagain · 24/11/2024 18:37

It’s my birthday this week, I have a young Dd and the plan is to have a nice day with her. It’s things she enjoys doing, but I like doing them with her too…we’ll visit santa, go to a Christmas village, maybe a film and then pizza (we’ll be doing more of this kind of things at weekends too with Dh)
Dh will be working all day until 6, it’s dark and cold by then and Dd will get tired, plus i’m not fussed about going out in the evening.
Dd and I will have the dinner out a bit earlier and be back by 6. Would you bring Dh some food from the restaurant back for his dinner? Feel a bit mean not doing so and him having a toastie or something for dinner, but also on a budget before christmas and it’s a fair bit extra to bring a pizza back, plus Dh hasnt planned making any dinner or getting a takeaway for my birthday, I’ve organised it all, although I know he’ll get a cake a small presents off dd

OP posts:
SmalllChange · 24/11/2024 19:37

Unless I've missed it, you haven't said whether he's asked you to bring him home a pizza?

Has he?

kiraric · 24/11/2024 19:37

Sounds like you prefer spending time with your DD rather than your DH.

This is how it came across to me. Like she sees herself and her DD as a unit.

It might just be one of those things but I do find it interesting that she hasn't answered any of the questions asking about how their relationship is in general

roseymoira · 24/11/2024 19:37

Does your house only have a toastie maker or something?

DH sounds like he's making a lovely effort, considering you don't want to go out on the evening when he has finished work or get a takeaway. Not sure what else you want from him

Whaleandsnail6 · 24/11/2024 19:35

Your original post sounded resentful that you feel he isnt making enough effort which is why you dont want to bring him anything back. But actually, he can't help having to work and cake/balloons/presents sounds like a pretty good effort for a work day.

Personally, I'd have day out with dd and then go home for nice takeaway with dh but you obviously dont want to do that and say you cant afford to bring him anything back so really there isnt another option (other than him making himself something better than a toastie!)

TheChosenTwo · 24/11/2024 19:33

Just bring him back a pizza, you seem to be weirdly digging your heels in about this 😂
Or forgo the meal out with dd and just order pizzas in for the two of you once she’s gone to bed if you’d rather.
Birthdays as an adult can be a bit meh, I go to town for my big ones but other than that we all get a takeaway and enjoy it by the fire for the rest of them.

SallyWD · 24/11/2024 19:32

Almostthattimeoftheyearagain · 24/11/2024 18:42

@murasaki He will have bought and wrapped presents with Dd, cards, balloons & bought a cake. Is that crap? Asking honestly

No, it's not crap. Some people will out him down simply because he's a man.

ChatChapeau · 24/11/2024 19:28

My feeling is - just do something nice for him. It's not that hard. And can't be that much more expensive.

Otherwise, I think this is how relationships become tit for tat with no one doing anything nice for the other person because of [some reason]. Sometimes you just have to break the cycle - you have thought about doing it, so you probably think he would appreciate it (or you would want him to do this for you if roles are reversed).

I like to think of it as making a deposit in the "love account" (cheesy as it sounds). It does work.

Georgyporky · 24/11/2024 19:25

I thought left-over pizza was only for breakfast?

Can DH not join you for dinner after he finishes work ?

DelicateSoundOfEchos · 24/11/2024 19:24

Why are his only options restaurant pizza or a toastie? Can he not just make something for dinner like any other adult?

ThinWomansBrain · 24/11/2024 19:23

why don't you ask him?

SouthLondonMum22 · 24/11/2024 19:22

It’s your birthday. Do what you want to do and DH can sort himself out.

StormingNorman · 24/11/2024 19:21

I would do the activities with DD and bring takeaway pizza home to all eat together. I’d feel bad my DH was missing out and I’d want him to be part of the fun.

Humphhhh · 24/11/2024 19:21

Mumsnet is so weird sometimes 🤣 OP if you want to do Santa stuff with your kid and not stay in all day on your birthday then go right ahead. If you can stretch to a small pizza for your DH then bring him a takeout because it's nice and you're married. But you don't have to.

Original poster
Almostthattimeoftheyearagain · 24/11/2024 19:19

I can have lunch out with dd but having a normal dinner when we get back and cooking it doesnt feel very different or special

OP posts:
Original poster
Almostthattimeoftheyearagain · 24/11/2024 19:18

@LaFidola He wouldn’t be eating all alone, we’d be there and Dd would maybe eat something again.
I can’t afford lunch out with her plus a takeaway in the evening too. We’ve done just the takeaway before but it doesn’t feel as special tbh
Its a rubbish month to have a birthday, if it was summer we’d go out after work for ice cream or something

OP posts:
Mercedes45 · 24/11/2024 19:17

God, some of the responses are so petty. And if their husbands didn't bring them back anything they would be on here moaning.

Yes, bring him home pizza!

DurhamDurham · 24/11/2024 19:15

I'm sure he could russle up more than a toastie for himself. Have the day you would like, he won't starve I'm sure.

Original poster
Almostthattimeoftheyearagain · 24/11/2024 19:14

I was thinking I might bring chocolates back or something and we could all cuddle up by the fire before bed. We’ve never booked a babysitter and gone out on my bday without dd

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 24/11/2024 19:13

Sure I would. I'd ask him what he'd like as a takeaway from there. He's been at work all day so nice thing to do.
Why are people so nasty?

LaFidola · 24/11/2024 19:13

I've spent a few birthdays on my own with my pre schooler now and while we do something nice for the day, I wouldn't have dinner out without my husband before he got home from work.

I'd have lunch out with my child probably and then a takeaway with my husband once child is asleep. Or a birthday tea all together if he was home earlier.

I'd find it really odd if the situation was reversed and my husband and child celebrated without me, while I was at work and I had to just make my own dinner and eat it by myself, on his birthday. I'd be wondering where we'd gone wrong.

Original poster
Almostthattimeoftheyearagain · 24/11/2024 19:12

@Ragwort Santa and the Christmas village is free..maybe a cupcake/cookie for dd from there, cinema for just us isn’t too bad and we’d only get kids pizza menu and I’d get a small pizza.

I’m not leaving him out of anything, I can’t help if he can’t take the day off

OP posts:
Wherethewildthingsfart · 24/11/2024 19:12

I would, it would be mean and petty not too!

StillAtTheRestaurant · 24/11/2024 19:05

I wouldn't bring food back, no. He can sort his own dinner out.

Ragwort · 24/11/2024 19:02

You say you are 'on a budget' but are planning a visit to Santa, Christmas Village (??) film and a pizza out ... sounds a lot for someone on a budget? Surely one treat is enough and either get a take away pizza to all have at home or a posh supermarket pizza?
If that was my DH and DS I can imagine them enjoying a sports match or similar together but then all eating together at home in the evening as a family 'celebration'.

Sounds like you prefer spending time with your DD rather than your DH.

nodogz · 24/11/2024 19:01

If I go out for dinner with friends, I usually bring back a pudding for my husband.I wouldn't bring back a main but I would bring home a treat.