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Assisted dying bill (TW assisted suicide discussion)

310 replies

Onand · 24/11/2024 13:30

I appreciate this is a divisive subject and a sensitive topic for many. Please avoid this thread if you find any discussion of suicide, death, trauma, terminal illness, cancer and faith triggering.

I’m curious to know how others are feeling about this subject, from what I can see there isn’t a lot of discussion, is this a MNHQ decision or an indifference from posters?

My opinion and views on this potential landmark decision are based on my horrifying experience of watching and waiting for my mum to pass from end stage cancer several years ago.

For over four years she fought advanced cancer, she took every treatment and trial offered to her. She endured major abdominal surgery, many blood transfusions, multiple rounds of chemo, lost her hair several times, her bones started to crumble causing excruciating back pain, severe abdominal swelling, double nephrostomy as her kidneys failed, multiple lesions on her brain that caused debilitating headaches and personality changes, her teeth and bones were decaying due to a calcium disorder, various hospital stays for infections, the list goes on.

Truly the most hideous nightmare cancer ‘journey’ anyone could ever imagine, it always felt like one step forward and two backwards and yet she carried on without much fuss or sign of fear to protect the family and herself from the true horrors of suffering.

She never wanted to die and so she never gave up or gave in- that was until the last few weeks of her life when she had no choice. The immense damage and toll cancer had done to her physical body was too much to survive any longer so the last infection she had took her consciousness and so began the final horrifying curveball that cancer has up its evil sleeve, this one is for the loved ones though, because now you have to wait and watch for the end to come. Anyone who has endured this knows exactly what I am talking about, a horror that truly brings home the meaning of hell of earth.

If the assisted dying bill was around whilst my mum was alive I know she would have never entertained an early death whilst she was still in control and able to fight, but I do know that her love for the family would have also meant she would never have wanted us to endure that final two weeks of watching and waiting for her body to shut down if it could have been avoided and she was able to specify what was to happen at the end. There was no possibility of her ever getting better or a miraculous recovery, death was very inevitable and a certainty but we still had to sit and watch, doing oral care and leaving the room as they checked for bed sores and did secretion suction. The only thing I could do to protect and help her was the make sure she was undoubtedly unaware of what was happening as she feared death and leaving us behind- the thought of her being remotely aware meant we were constantly asking the nurses for more and more sedation.

If this bill gives patients the choice to avoid the hideously evil ending of a terminal illness and the following ptsd that impacts the loved ones left behind then it is an opportunity I strongly agree with. Watching a loved one die an agonising death is soul destroying and something I hope no one has to ever endure if said loved one could choose to avoid.

How do others feel?

OP posts:
SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 24/11/2024 13:52

I don’t agree with the bill. Sorry.

Assisted dying won’t make death painless and quick- by the time terminally ill people use it they have gone through the worst of the pain and suffering already. There is no such thing as a beautiful, dignified death.

Where it has been legalised it has been expanded either legally or in practice to include people who are not terminally ill, and who would rather live but due to economic duress, emotional blackmail, mental illness or societal pressure end up feeling they have no choice but to die.

ByMerryKoala · 24/11/2024 13:52

I'm completely opposed to it until palliative care is easy to access.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 24/11/2024 13:50

First of all I'm deeply sorry for the circumstances you all suffered when losing your precious mum, Onand

While obviously I can see the benefits, my own position's remained consistent: it's an excellent idea in principle, but comes loaded with too many potential problems for us to be able to trust its implementation

They've all been mentioned on here and elsewhere before, but briefly:
Coercion in order to save money / the NHS
Targer driven healthcare related to the above
A lessening in the improvement of palliative care
Pressure for those understandably exhausted by caring
The same from those eager for their inheritance
And most of all, "mission creep" as eligibility expands ever further

Staunch backers will insist that these either won't happen or could be overcome, but sadly I'm by no means as confident

Dramatic · 24/11/2024 13:50

I've never been through what you have with your mum, I'm so sorry you and she had to endure that. I've always had a fear of dying a horrible, slow, painful death and I really feel there should be an option to end that sort of suffering. I hope this time it's properly discussed.

Gettingbysomehow · 24/11/2024 13:49

Its come far too late. Ive watched hundreds of people die in a variety of ways over 40 years of being a nurse.
Some ok others just plain awful. I ended up with PTSD. I do not understand why people cant choose when they want to die.
I have euthanised most of my 10 cats at the end of their lives .aking a considered choice. Id be arrested for animal cruelty if Id let them die in agony but apparently we have to risk dying in agony if we are human. Whts with that?

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 24/11/2024 13:48

I'm completely against it.

I'm a nurse abs the repercussions if this passes terrify me tbh.

It is possible to have a good death without the need for suicide/assisted dying.

Given how difficult it is to ascertain if a patient has full mental capacity now I have no idea how they can fully safeguard this for society's most vulnerable people.

Coercion, guilt and pressure undoubtedly will be used to make people feel they have to die.

FupaTrooper · 24/11/2024 13:46

I love my cats more than anything. If they were in pain I would make sure I did everything in my power to end it, even if I had to do it myself. It would haunt me for the rest of my life, but I would do it.

This seems to be an acceptable opinion throughout most of society, but then we expect humans to die in painful, undignified, terrifying ways.

I believe if someone wants to end their life they should be able to do so with medical help to ensure it is done as safely and painlessly as possible.

I also believe there needs to be serious psychological evaluations and mental health being a huge consideration. We know we can't trust these processes in all areas (parents and patients have been let down on the trans issue)... So huge oversight of the people signing off on this would be needed.

Mrsttcno1 · 24/11/2024 13:44

Honestly it’s one of those things for me personally where I can absolutely see both sides. I can see where if I was in that position, terminally ill, no hope of recovery, I would want to be able to make that decision for myself and so I totally understand the position that it could be a good thing in those situations.

However my biggest worry with anything like this is the potential for abuse and this becoming a slippery slope, so can also see the argument against it being a strong one.

Womblewife · 24/11/2024 13:41

I agree with it - but I think there should be a referendum

Didimum · 24/11/2024 13:40

I don’t overtly disagree with it, but I think it currently has not been open to enough debate in the current parliament and leaves itself far too open to abuse.

I also cared for my father throughout his demise from cancer.