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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not take DD to birthday party today

141 replies

Whoosher · 24/11/2024 13:03

DD6 is invited to her friends birthday party today. It’s a craft party at a venue.

DD and friend are in the same class at school and half the class is invited. They also attend the same dance class every Sunday. Friend’s mom text in the dance group today saying friend was poorly with sickness so won’t be coming to class, this was about 10am

anyway, party is still on.. and she hasn’t told any of the other parents that the birthday child is sick. I don’t want to take DD now, as I don’t want to risk her getting poorly and passing it to the whole family, we had a sickness bug a month ago and it was horrible.

AIBU to say to the mom that she won’t be attending due to her child being ill?

also, should I warn the other parents? Two of whom are my close friends.

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 24/11/2024 13:12

I agree to message and ask what’s happening with the party, it’s probably an excuse.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 24/11/2024 13:11

I'd take it with a pinch of salt tbh.

Whinge · 24/11/2024 13:11

GrumpyCactus · 24/11/2024 13:08

I would message the mum directly and bluntly ask what's happening regarding the party if she's sick? I wouldn't think it would be an excuse to get out of the dance group, it seems an odd excuse to use.

I agree.

If she messaged the dance group around 10am, I'm surprised you haven't already sent a message to the birthday girl's mum asking if the party is still on.

Orangelight23 · 24/11/2024 13:11

I would assume it's a white lie because dance class and a party in the same day is too much. Can you not just text her and ask what the score is?

Futurethinking2026 · 24/11/2024 13:10

GrumpyCactus · 24/11/2024 13:08

I would message the mum directly and bluntly ask what's happening regarding the party if she's sick? I wouldn't think it would be an excuse to get out of the dance group, it seems an odd excuse to use.

Depends how serious the dance group is. Some ballet teachers are brutal about any absence other than illness.

Comedycook · 24/11/2024 13:09

Are you sure the mum wasn't just making an excuse to get her DD out of attending the class?

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 24/11/2024 13:09

I agree verify the sickness issue with the mum.

Highlandfandango · 24/11/2024 13:09

Most likely it was a fib to excuse absence from dance class in build up to party excitement.

However, if you can somehow check and if she was in fact vomiting in last 24 hours (ideally 48) then I would put in apologies. I have done this in the past - “so sorry we can’t come, due to vulnerable family members we need to avoid exposure to anyone who has had vomiting in the last 48 hours”

Futurethinking2026 · 24/11/2024 13:09

Sounds possible that they had other plans yesterday (pre birthday celebrations / shopping etc) and couldn’t be bothered with the dance teachers eye rolls.
Also possible that she was sick Friday am, stayed home yesterday and is now fine and past the 48 hours of infection.
If they have been at school together, chances are they will either get it or not anyway.

EmotionalSupportPotato · 24/11/2024 13:08

GrumpyCactus · 24/11/2024 13:08

I would message the mum directly and bluntly ask what's happening regarding the party if she's sick? I wouldn't think it would be an excuse to get out of the dance group, it seems an odd excuse to use.

This but don't be rude just direct

applestewing · 24/11/2024 13:08

I’d assumed she’s said that so she can miss the class and not pay?
but I’d still go to the party

GrumpyCactus · 24/11/2024 13:08

I would message the mum directly and bluntly ask what's happening regarding the party if she's sick? I wouldn't think it would be an excuse to get out of the dance group, it seems an odd excuse to use.

User37482 · 24/11/2024 13:07

I just assume that when one kid gets sick that they are all going to get sick so don’t really worry about it tbh. I’d still go. Fairly sure I’ve picked up a flu from a class party I went to, tis the season and all that.

Comff · 24/11/2024 13:06

Did the text say she had been sick that day? Otherwise dance class could have been at the end of 48hrs of no sickness. Or she could have just been saying it as an excuse. If you’re close to the mum I’d ask a few casual Qs first.

saraclara · 24/11/2024 13:06

Mum will have paid up front for the venue, so a whole bunch of you not turning up will be cruel.

She might have just been fibbing to the dance teacher,: as ' we're busy getting ready for a party' might not go down well?

Clairey1986 · 24/11/2024 13:05

Is she definitely ill? Or did mum say that to explain her absence from dancing if the teacher is in the chat?

I’d check that first and go from there.