To not take DD to birthday party today

A couple of years ago I canceled my own dd's party last minute, because it was at our house, and my other dd had just come down with severe vomiting. People seemed quite baffled that I would cancel for that reason, and even a bit annoyed, ungrateful sods. But at least we didn't spread norovirus to school 😏

I would reply in the group with party chat saying that youre disappointed but you cant risk catching a sickness bug so you arent going to the party, but maybe they could do a playdate at another time to make uo for it.

Then I’d reply and say, that’s very sad for your dd but you think it’s better if you didn’t take the risk of spreading the bug and making multiple children unwell so unfortunately you’ll have to miss seeing her.

That’s awful of her, sick bugs are so contagious and she’s been ill that same day. I wouldn’t be sending my dd and I would warn everyone going.

I understand her child might be disappointed, but I can't believe she's going ahead with the party. 😲

You should explain your DD won't be attending, and I also think you need to inform the other guests. They might still choose to attend the party, but at least they'll be making the decision with prior knowledge of the illness.

Ooh I'd find it hard to resist sending a honest reply about what I thought of this. Nothing rude, just not a polite "oh ok, hope she feels better" that I imagine she's assuming you'll send.

I doubt I'd be able to come up with wording I was happy with though.

So she's obviously unwell and the parent doesn't actually care if her child then makes others sick. I would definitely be letting the other parents know.

Very simple, “so sorry I think dd might be getting the bug your dd has, she’s got a fever, pale and says tummy hurts so we are going to have to miss.” That way she can still go to school tomorrow as fever and pain stopped with a bit of paracetamol, no vomiting occurred.

I still think it's possible she's not actually poorly, despite the class being fairly relaxed. She might have missed a class or two recently or just have felt awkward. Easiest thing is to text the mum and ask, and if she confirms sickness bug then you just say really sorry, we can't risk it due to vulnerable family member

I really don't understand the logic of those saying she's probably already passed it on to your daughter so she might as well go. I'm guessing those saying that are the people who don't follow the 48 hours sickness rules in schools and nurseries?

In that case, no, we wouldn't be going. Yuk.

Me too and feeling poorly does not automatically mean having an infection. She could just be over-excited about her birthday party, you know what children are like.

Not to take your child and to warn others is a bit OTT. It's alarmist, the poor kid could end up with no guests at her party, Billie no-mates!

She's probably OK now. If she did have something infectious the chances are other kids in her class will have it too.

If you’re going to warn other parents, don’t be sneaky about it. Make sure you actually tell the birthday child’s mum what you’ve done. And if you’re not going then obviously tell her about that too.

I understand birthday Mum must be torn and upset, to cancel at this point she’d probably lose the whole party and have a very sad child. It is something I dread every year with children with winter birthdays!

But there is no way it is responsible to host a birthday party if the birthday child has a stomach bug and been up all night sick - completely unfair to the child, the other kids and families or the poor venue.

I’d probably not interfere or warn others, but I would message birthday Mum and say that I’m sorry, I’m not happy to expose my child to a vomiting bug and that therefore my child can’t come.

I don't think you are being rude by declining, illness is something unforeseen. Would be rude just not turning up.

Don't be ridiculous

YANBU. If her child was definitely sick last night with an infection then she’s unreasonable to go ahead with the party and potentially infect loads of other kids and their families.

I’d text her to thank her for letting you know about her daughter’s illness and wishing her a speedy recovery. Pretty obvious that you won’t be attending the party and why.

I wouldn't go but also will be worried that other kids will catch it and spread in school. I would warn the other parents I think ... the parent is being super irresponsible not cancelling the party.

Absolutely wouldn't go, and absolutely spread the word.

Your kid having a headache or being a bit tired from not sleeping well and needing to rest before a party, or needing some time off for something like asthma where a full on exercise class would be too much, or eczema in a scratchy dance outfit, is very different to throwing up for hours.

It’s more likely the mum too busy preparing for the party no time to take kid to class so made up excuse.

If she has a sickness bug (something that is unlikely to settle within a few hours) then she's properly ill. In which case, if she was planning on calling off the party, she would have done so by now.

Seems like she wants the party to go ahead. I would have just text "sorry to hear x is ill. I assume the party is called off so X will see X at school when she's better. Hope she feels well soon x"

Oh dear, I think your daughter might be starting to feel a bit nauseous op? Better stay away as she's probably going down with it too already.

I'd be very apologetic and suggest that you take. Birthday girl out for a treat with your daughter next weekend after dance class when they're both recovered?

I imagine it's because the parties cost so much.

I'd be really cross though, it's so selfish.