To not take DD to birthday party today

Other children at the party may well catch it and not realise before going to school tomorrow- so your child is probably going to get ill anyway.

A friend brought her 10 year old to a christening with chicken pox and told him to sit in the corner as she thought he would be safe there. Three weeks later the baby, plus my 3 month old son contracted chicken pox. Quite badly.

And maybe.... offer a play date when birthday girl is feeling better... but that might be outside of your bother zonemb

You did the right thing... message her to say that you will drop the present round.

Yeah I wouldn't be deliberately exposing my child to a sickness bug either!

I had to cancel a kid's birthday party due to covid once, literally the day of the party so lost money on the hall booking, bouncy castle, entertainer etc but I couldn't knowingly infect anyone.

My poor BIL works his backside of to give her what she never grew up with Are you suggesting she “married above her station”?

DD was at a party last weekend where a guest (another school friend) turned up at the party after being off school on the Friday with vomiting. She then continued to vomit (twice) at the party before her parent got some sense and took her home 🙄

Good for you @Whoosher I would have done exactly the same thing xx

Being miffed is nothing compared to the reactions from the other parents, when they realise that the birthday girl has been throwing up all night.

You did the right thing, I'd take the present into school for the kid so they don't miss out but I wouldn't have risked it either

The mum shouldn’t be upset with you. It’s perfectly understandable.

Maybe invite the birthday girl to your place, or for a treat out somewhere, when she’s better, so she knows you care about her.

Good on you pulling out and saying why.

The birthday girl's mum sounds ridiculous to still go ahead with it all.

Parents like this lady annoy me! I remember being a child and having to have my party at McDonalds cancelled due to me being ill. Yes, I was disappointed, but it’s life!

Have read all your posts. Tough one. It must be awful for the poor girl to cancel her party if she’s ill. And it may not be a bug. She may have vomited due to excitement or anxiety about the party.

But, especially as you’re a lone parent, I totally understand your fear of you all coming down with a bug, especially with Xmas coming up.

Could your DD go but you tell her not to get too close to the birthday girl or anyone else? I think it’s fine to warn your close friends.

I know these parties cost a small fortune which she wouldn’t be able to get back and everyone will be looking forward to it, but I think it’s really irresponsible of the mum to go ahead with it if her DC has been throwing up within 48 hours of it. Especially without warning attendees.

I would probably message the mum something along the lines of: So sorry to hear X was up half the night being sick. Hope she’s feeling better. We really need to void bugs if we can so DD will not be coming this afternoon, but I do hope it goes well and everyone has a great time.

So selfish of the mother. What about all the guests who'll come with lovely gifts only to end up getting sick and missing school and other important things. Their parents not being able to go to work because of their sick dc.

I'm pretty grossed out that nobody seems to have any principles other than to suit and serve themselves anymore. It's truly depressing. Does nobody do the right thing anymore? 😡

And the mother is not the sharpest tool in the shed either, I mean if you're going to host a D&V party, try and be a bit more discrete? No? I hope the birthday girl doesn't end up being sick again at the party. 😷😷

It really is if what she has is contagious she will make other children ill. My DD ended up in hospital fighting for her life because she picked up a bug at school. She couldn't keep her medication down. Her health condition is difficult to control as it is even when she has meds in her system.

Parent thought it was just something child had eaten so sent them in. Baring in mind this is a SEN school there's a lot of children there with life limiting health conditions. One child had recently returned to school in remission from cancer treatment. Now that's utterly selfish.

I can't think of anything more miserable than having to attend a birthday party (even my own) in the aftermath of a sickness bug.

My DD was up at 3am yesterday being sick and she was feeling better by about 10am yesterday. However no way she was up for anything more than a bath, laying on the sofa and eating ginger biscuits yesterday (and she's still wiped out today!). So selfish of the mum in many ways but I also kind of understand why someone would go ahead. Assume there is zero option to reschedule at this late stage so it's either cancel or go ahead?

In your situation OP I think I'd cancel. I'd probably tell a white lie about "having a very important week with work and not wanting to take any chances with illness"

I know it's too late now, but I probably would've text something along the lines of "oh sorry to hear NAME is unwell with a sickness bug, I assume the party is cancelled?"

I personally wouldn't want to go to a party knowing the birthday girl was vomiting repeatedly the night before...

I wouldn't be happy with this. Has the child passed the 48 hours and if so are they sending them to school tomorrow? Hate it when people don't adhere to the 48 hours but even if it was close to then (which it doesnt sound like this is) the poor child is more than likely to be feeling rubbish at the party.

There is one parent in one of DC class who doesnt stick to the 48 hours - child vomited at school and my husband saw them out in a cafe the following day!

The venue probably won't want their staff to get it, or for parents to associate their child catching norovirus with their business and tell their friends.

I’ve cancelled my kids parties before because of illness. A lot of venues are very understanding and will rearrange. Of course the kids could still catch the bug/already have but knowingly having a party with a poorly child probably won’t go down well with most parents.

YANBU X