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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not take DD to birthday party today

141 replies

Whoosher · 24/11/2024 13:03

DD6 is invited to her friends birthday party today. It’s a craft party at a venue.

DD and friend are in the same class at school and half the class is invited. They also attend the same dance class every Sunday. Friend’s mom text in the dance group today saying friend was poorly with sickness so won’t be coming to class, this was about 10am

anyway, party is still on.. and she hasn’t told any of the other parents that the birthday child is sick. I don’t want to take DD now, as I don’t want to risk her getting poorly and passing it to the whole family, we had a sickness bug a month ago and it was horrible.

AIBU to say to the mom that she won’t be attending due to her child being ill?

also, should I warn the other parents? Two of whom are my close friends.

OP posts:
PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 16:18

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PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 16:18

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PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 16:17

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FrodosTemper · 24/11/2024 16:17

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 24/11/2024 16:14

That doesn’t mean she’s clearly miffed at all. Oh Ok has multi-uses

yeah I wouldn't infer that the birthday host is miffed. I'd infer she's air headed.

FrodosTemper · 24/11/2024 16:16

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Does it matter whose christening it was? The idiotic friend brought a 10 year old with chicken pox to a party with tiny babies. 😏

Probioaretheone · 24/11/2024 16:15

OP, I think you did the right thing for you and your family and if she doesn’t understand that it reflects poorly on her.

I just hope the other parents find out too and are able to make an informed decision because it’s unfair she’s withholding that information from them.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 24/11/2024 16:14

Whoosher · 24/11/2024 15:24

Glad I’m not the only one who thinks this is wrong! I replied and said I’m really sorry but DD won’t be attending as I can’t risk having the house infected with another sickness bug, said I hope birthday girl feels better soon.

all I got in reply was “oh okay” so she’s clearly miffed!

That doesn’t mean she’s clearly miffed at all. Oh Ok has multi-uses

Probioaretheone · 24/11/2024 16:12

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Yeah you just asked and I just explained 🤷🏻‍♀️no drama 😆

PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 16:10

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PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 16:08

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Probioaretheone · 24/11/2024 16:07

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I’m not the poster you asked but unless I’m missing something it’s pretty clear it’s not their christening?

Firstly they referred to it as “a christening” not “my baby’s /our christening” and secondly they stated the baby (presumably the one that was getting christened) AND their own baby fell ill.

A friend brought her 10 year old to a christening with chicken pox and told him to sit in the corner as she thought he would be safe there. Three weeks later the baby, plus my 3 month old son contracted chicken pox. Quite badly.

Whinge · 24/11/2024 16:03

Whoosher · 24/11/2024 15:24

Glad I’m not the only one who thinks this is wrong! I replied and said I’m really sorry but DD won’t be attending as I can’t risk having the house infected with another sickness bug, said I hope birthday girl feels better soon.

all I got in reply was “oh okay” so she’s clearly miffed!

@PunnyJoker

The mother isn't denying it. Her child is ill, and the party is still going ahead because apparently the birthday girl was sad to cancel it.

PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 15:59

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PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 15:58

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holdmecloseyoungtonydanza · 24/11/2024 15:57

GrumpyCactus · 24/11/2024 13:08

I would message the mum directly and bluntly ask what's happening regarding the party if she's sick? I wouldn't think it would be an excuse to get out of the dance group, it seems an odd excuse to use.

This. I think you need more information to go on, OP.

FrodosTemper · 24/11/2024 15:55

Blimeyitscold · 24/11/2024 15:36

A friend brought her 10 year old to a christening with chicken pox and told him to sit in the corner as she thought he would be safe there. Three weeks later the baby, plus my 3 month old son contracted chicken pox. Quite badly.

Your friend is either totally ignorant or totally selfish. It's quite worrying to see how so many adults don't have very basic life skills and common sense. I suppose they're good at social media and shopping.

Robotcustard · 24/11/2024 15:48

housethatbuiltme · 24/11/2024 15:44

You are aware disabilities exist right, many of which cause nausea and vomiting.

Just like not everyone that coughs have cold.

Yes I am aware, but I’m not talking about children with disabilities or conditions that cause them to be sick.

FinnJuhl · 24/11/2024 15:48

One of my son's friends was dropped off at my DS's birthday party and was very quiet, sat in the corner most of the time. Turns out he had been sick all morning, and so my poor DS spent his actual birthday with norovirus. A big thanks to those parents!

ChristmasGrinch24 · 24/11/2024 15:46

Problem is that if other kids are attending from the same school class, they likely to pick it up at the party and bring it to school and pass it on regardless to your dd.

housethatbuiltme · 24/11/2024 15:44

Robotcustard · 24/11/2024 15:43

People who don’t follow the 48 hour rule really annoy me. I always do and I feel like we’re in the minority. Or those who say, oh I’m sure it was just something they ate or they coughed too hard and were sick. I know it annoying having to have them at home for a couple of days, but stop being so bloody selfish and passing on nasty bugs when it could be avoided! Now you’ve had to make the decision to not take your child to the party when it should have been her making the decision to cancel it.

You are aware disabilities exist right, many of which cause nausea and vomiting.

Just like not everyone that coughs have cold.

Whinge · 24/11/2024 15:43

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Have you read the OPs updates? The child has been awake all night being sick. She's clearly unwell, but despite this the mother is going ahead with the party and hasn't informed the other guests.

Robotcustard · 24/11/2024 15:43

People who don’t follow the 48 hour rule really annoy me. I always do and I feel like we’re in the minority. Or those who say, oh I’m sure it was just something they ate or they coughed too hard and were sick. I know it annoying having to have them at home for a couple of days, but stop being so bloody selfish and passing on nasty bugs when it could be avoided! Now you’ve had to make the decision to not take your child to the party when it should have been her making the decision to cancel it.

PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 15:40

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PunnyJoker · 24/11/2024 15:39

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housethatbuiltme · 24/11/2024 15:39

It maybe that she lying, a sick day is the easiest white lie.

It also might be that her daughter has a non contagious sickness, my DS has gastritis often set off by acid food exposure (most commonly occures during the night/early morning by noon he is fine) and motion sickness due to his disability effecting balance perception.

He can be violently sick and then an hour later be perfectly fine, neither are remotely contagious to others though.