Aibu to stop this multiple Christmas day madness?

I think having three different Christmas is normal but in my family the food is different on each day.

@Sugargliderwombat It’s a tough one because people who have to work Xmas Day (often public sector workers like police, firefighters and NHS) should be able to celebrate on another day.

But I agree three full Xmas dinners over three days would be a bit much. Is it just your immediate family on Xmas Day? If so, could you have something different (e.g. a whole salmon/en croute, roasted baby new potatoes and steamed veg) on Xmas Day and save the roast turkey for the family get togethers?

As for why Santa has left presents with relatives to give kids on Boxing Day, could those relatives not get their presents to Santa early to deliver with the rest on Xmas night? If the relatives want to watch the kids open them, you could suggest the kids save them to open the next day. Or it could the relatives explain they’ve asked Santa to deliver them to their house, so they can give them when they see your kids, as they love watching them open them? I found it easy to explain most Santa things, by saying ‘because he’s magic’.

I'd ask/tell family coming that you're not doing the standard Christmas meal. We stopped doing these in our family as everyone would groan at the thought of turkey and then there were those that were allergic or vegan or whatever. So better to mix it up a bit.

Mom had quite a bit of fun over the years. Once she decided we should all have lobster (lobster races across the kitchen floor anyone?) and another time it was all wild food - bear, hare, venison.

I had 3 Xmas's when I was younger. The w/e before at my Nan's. Xmas Day either at home or Auntie's and Boxing Day reversed. All the family attended the 3 days, every family had their day of hosting. Presents were only on Xmas Day though, with only a little stocking filler type present on the other days.

I absolutely loved it growing up and thought I was so lucky to have 3 Xmas's. Think of the DC, lol.

Pretty standard in our family . However I generally always host 2 days out of 4 at least.

DB and family Xmas eve. But not hosting we go out.

Xmas day here usually, ds ILS and DM

Boxing day open house here. Again it's, dm, ds and dil.

Around 27 / 28th at my DFs with DB Dsis and SIL

Why would your family leave you on your own on Christmas Day?

@saraclara can you do a big spread on New Years Day? We used to do crackers then as well as Christmas Day if we had some left over

Not normal to have three Christmas days. We have two main days to celebrate Christmas on alternate years, eg we see my family on 25th and husband’s family on Boxing Day then swap over each year. But we don’t have Christmas dinner both days! Still have nice lunch, crackers on the table, exchange presents etc but don’t treat it like Christmas Day if it’s not.

Definitely Father Christmas only comes on Christmas Eve. You can still give each other presents on the other days but gifts from the main man are only there on the morning of the 25th.

The hosting needs to be shared around on both sides of the family so that it’s not always you.

We have full on Christmas Dinner 3 days in a row. Always have. But there is so much options that you can technically have different food each day. Gifts only on one day though.

Surely if Christmas Eve is when you are seeing the in-laws then that will be when they get their presents and vice versa . If someone wants to go the whole hog and cook a Christmas dinner then that’s up to them . Nobody is expecting you to cook 3 Christmas dinners . WRT children believing in FC that is nothing to do with getting presents from other people .

And I’ve never heard of having a full on turkey dinner on Xmas eve either - usually it’s a nice glazed ham or something and some Christmassy cocktails.

Yes, this. Nobody should expect a full on replacement dinner on Boxing Day. It’s a buffet day!! Their choice to have a job that works over Xmas and they can cook their own full on dinner and invite you over if that’s what they want.

I'm the one not getting a Christmas dinner. This year looks like being the second Christmas Day that I'm on my own, and when I do see the family, they'll all have had their Christmas dinner and will be expecting something different. It's already been made clear that they don't want to eat multiple roasts that week.

If I'm entirely honest, it makes me sad. I want my family around the table with me, eating turkey and all the trimmings, and pulling crackers and it being 'my' alternative Christmas. But I can't say so, so I'll keep my mouth shut, put a brave face on being alone, and cook un-Christmasy buffet food for the family days I host.

Is it just you/DH/kids on Christmas Day? If it is I'd do something easy on Christmas Day not a full Christmas roast, anything easy that can all be preprepared like a curry or a cottage pie or some. Have a fun Christmas Day with the children and have the traditional food on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day.

Do your parents cook Xmas dinner too? How does your mum feeling sorry lead to your making dinner for everyone?!

To be fair if you are at home the middle day you don't have to do a full Christnas dinner thereafter having one the day before and after.

3 Christmas dinners in a row is a lot, however We do do 3 days though as multiple of us work the Christmas period.

It tends to work out my side Xmas eve (buffet/ charcuterie that type of thing) Xmas day at home- full dinner- family are welcome to visit morning/afternoon as they please, Boxing Day at the in laws which is cold cuts, pickles, chips, crusty bread. We exchange gifts that go out to family prior to Christmas Day so that everyone has their gifts on Christmas Day.

Well when you're having your Christmas at home, don't have a roast...

It's not all that unusual. With different family locations & schedules, everybody wants to 'do Christmas'. By the time you've added in work Christmas, schools & clubs Christmasses, Christmas with friends and/or down the pub, you can easily end up having 7 or 8 turkey dinners over the season 😬

I agree your safest approach is to something different on the day you host - even if it's a different roast (to give everyone the 'Christmas dinner' experience) you'll get a break from the turkey!

We have inlaws on Christmas day, my family on boxing day. Yes we have two full meals. Yes we have two sets of presents. No we don't pretend Santa visited twice that would be very strange 😅 but spreading out the family presents works quite well?

Christmas day there is a lot more playing with new toys etc and on boxing day we go for a walk. So the days are not identical.

We have done this but not 3 consecutive days, no one wants that many Christmas dinners! Sheet the point is to see each and spend time together at Christmas, not to have a roast

Main thing is if you want to do the family days in a row, we've not gone full on like that and instead spaced it out over the week which is easier to manage if the menu ends up very similar

May I suggest this, Op?

Some of this is totally in your hands OP. So that everyone gets at least one Christmas dinner, but you don’t get three, why don’t you cook something different on Christmas Day?

Me and DH have both worked Christmas. Whichever side had one of us plus DS always puts the other a plate up. Only DH works Christmas now but we host on another day if he's at work it's usually buffet or Christmas sandwiches.

My preference if it works shift wise is lunch on Christmas Eve (lunch time or evening) so Christmas is more social and not kitchen based.

I don’t think it’s so unusual to see family that work on other days than Xmas day. Or exchanging gifts from those other family members on days other than Xmas day.

If you know your mil will do a full Xmas dinner on Xmas eve then I wouldn’t do a big family dinner for your little family on Xmas day. So picky bits - whatever you fancy - on Xmas day. Open all the gifts from Santa or yourselves on Xmas day and do whatever you want on the day. Then do your big meal on Boxing Day with your extended family- perhaps a ham or beef if you are sick of turkey. Gifts from that side of the family can be exchanged and opened on Boxing day. I think it’s good for children to learn how to be flexible about how Xmas goes. And nice that presents are spread out over a few days. So many people grow up with a stick up their backsides when it comes to Xmas.