Aibu to stop this multiple Christmas day madness?

My adult brother quite often has to work Christmas - mum usually plates him up a dinner and gives it to SIL (who Christmases with my parents regardless), to take home. He then fits in with whatever the family / extended family wants to do on the days he's not working, such as Boxing Day.

I don't think any arrangement is wrong, but if it doesn't work for you personally, the family should find something that's a compromise for everyone. Maybe if this year has already been agreed, then go along with the plans but say next year you'd like something a bit less full on.

Buffet sounds wonderful idea. Lots of lovely picky bits (charcuterie, mini pizzas, pigs in blankets, samosas etc) in Aldi at the moment. Some chocolate log, mulled wine and/or cocktail mixers and you're all sorted!

But what about the Boxing Day buffet?? Does nobody care about the buffet?

Having multiple Christmas Days is madness. Eve/Day/Boxing Day are all perfectly nice days on their own, and people who work over Christmas should just join in with whatever they can - that's what our family do, anyway.

See my post above. OP 's not hosting them all! She's eating the Christmas roast at three different places.

She's not cooking all the meals! She's only hosting one of them.

We always had two 'Christmas Day's as kids - Christmas Day with my Mum's side and then Boxing Day with my Dad's side.

No one worked Christmas it was just easier to give a day to each side.

If I were you, and you want to do the Santa thing, I'd do no presents for kids on Christmas Eve (they can be left with you to hand out on Christmas morning), no Christmas Dinner on Christmas Day - do a more picky food lunch/dinner, and then Boxing Day grandparents can bring over gifts (with a 'Santa left these at my house for you' excuse) and have a second Christmas dinner that day.

Honestly - I think if you have you Christmas dinner with in-laws on Christmas Eve.

Have a chilled day - no massive cooking on Christmas Day - just any easy food you fancy - more time to spend with the kids, not have to wrestle them away from their presents, have a pj day.

Then even if you have another full Xmas dinner on the Boxing Day - at least you've had a break from Xmas dinner for perhaps change up the meat so it's a bit different.

Sounds ideal!

I’m a bit jealous you have a fridge big enough to store three turkeys 😂

We don't do Christmas Eve, but have always had big dinners on Christmas Day (always at home) and Boxing Day (away). However, you need to keep Christmas Day special surely? How about accepting the pressies for the kids beforehand but not opening them until Christmas Day. Also as others have said, Christmas Day is the big traditional spread and the other days are more relaxed.

You'd be mad to make a full Christmas roast dinner on Christmas Day itself if you're having one on Christmas eve with the inlaws and hosting one Boxing Day for your side of the family.

Party food an d snacks on CHristmas day when it's just you, DH and the children. It will make a nice break.

Drinks party & nibbles or snacks. Simple. I certainly couldn't be bothered with all that celebrating.

I grew up doing double Christmas and loved it!

my mum always does a huge buffet party on Christmas Eve - invites all the friends/family/neighbours over after going to church and we would get to stay up late (was and still is my favourite day of the year)

Christmas Day at home with my grandparents staying

Boxing Day - over to my grandparents on the other side of the family for Boxing Day with cousins/uncles/that side of the family. Christmas dinner again!

we host Boxing Day now my grandparents are older, and have ILs over as well

I bloody love it

We host on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day, but we don't do turkey and all the trimmings every day.

Christmas Eve we have a party with a buffet in the evening for family and friends.

Christmas Day we have turkey and the trimmings for Christmas lunch for family.

Boxing Day we do smoked salmon/bucks fizz and other things buffet breakfast/lunch for family and friends.

Over the three days this includes pretty much everyone we want to see over the Christmas period.

It all starts again with a different batch of friends, who live further away, over New Year.

It's a lot of work, but I enjoy entertaining. I wouldn't be cooking a big Christmas meal three days running though.

A few of our friends and family have offered to host, but we have got the biggest house and I prefer being at home.

It’s a lot of work for you and I assume quite repetitive. If nobody else in the family can host, I would at least switch up the menu.

Christmas Eve: Big fish pie
Christmas Day: Turkey
Boxing Day: Ham, leftovers and cheeseboard

Thank you @BarbaraHoward ♥️

That's very kind of you. I think you should think about being honest. We'd never leave our parents on their own (one side widowed, the other will be in the next few years). As you eloquently said, it's about the family gathered around the table joking about sprouts and telling terrible cracker jokes.

For the same reason that in another recent thread, the majority of posters felt that parents of young children should be able to have Christmas Day with just their own little family.

Like parents of adults are supposed to, I made all the right noises when they expressed that wish, and following last Christmas Day, so as not to guilt anyone, I told them I'd had a nice day on my own.
So they're not being mean. I get why they want it, and they think I'm fine with it.

Why can't you say so?

Because a) on Mumsnet that would be called guilting them, or being entitled, and b) because that's clearly not what they want from the day, so why would I want them to feel they have to invite me?

Genuinely, I understand why that's what they want. And I'm on Mumsnet enough (too much in fact) to recognise that this is where grandparents have to just suck it up with a brave face and wait for Boxing Day.

I’m lucky not to be working Christmas Day but have done my share over my years as an NHS nurse.
My DM did a repeat once for me and would probably have done the same for my DSis.
DD is now a student nurse and I’ll happily do a repeat Christmas dinner for her when required.
Three consecutive Christmas dinners seems a bit OTT but if you’re on your own on Christmas Day why not just have a buffet?

Why can't you say so? And why are your family leaving you alone on Christmas Day? If it's because you're working, can't you do something festive there? (Appreciate this will likely not be full roast dinner depending where you work but we always used to have Christmas cake/mince pies/pigs in blankets etc. laid out to dip into between patients).

Sorry OP, I haven't RTFT, just your responses so I'm sure I'm repeating everyone.

I think the set up in terms of seeing one family on Christmas Eve, one on Boxing Day and just being by yourselves on Christmas Day is pretty standard.

Three Christmas dinners is a bit much.

Personally, I'd stick with Christmas dinner on the 24th and 26th and do something very easy like pizza when it's just you on Christmas day. Lean into it being a relaxed day of playing with new toys, with the big gatherings either side.

@Sugargliderwombat WHY cant someone else cook on boxing day in your extended family??

I would nip this in the bud NOW, or you will regret it in five years time. Utter madness.

Yes that’s not normal. It’s normal to see family on those days, and exchange family presents, but not to basically pretend all 3 days are Christmas Day and have the same menu 3 days in a row! You can do something special and festive on Boxing Day without it being a full Christmas dinner, and if you’re hosting you get to decide on the food.

Exchanging gifts and seeing family across multiple days is pretty normal. Not 3 Christmas dinners though!
If the in laws are insistent on doing a roast on Christmas eve then I would be tempted to do something else on Christmas day that you enjoy and then have a buffet on boxing day with your parents who you mention are quite lenient.
I would check on the Santa idea though as some excitable grandparents like to take over with this idea and say that he stopped at their house too and produce another sackful - amazing as a kid, not so as a parent.