Aibu to stop this multiple Christmas day madness?

DH and i both had kids when we met, mine alternate Xmas day between parents, his are always with mum Xmas day and us boxing day and on those years I do a 'double Xmas day. It's a lot of work but it matters to us, it's up to you though to do what's best for your unit.

I agree.

I can see why someone working Christmas day would want the works on another day. Tricky.

Bollocks to that. Quick drink xmas eve if you want ( but you could easily argue you'll be too busy sorting out presents etc, xmas day as normal. Quiet boxing day for left overs..just you ( and children) .

Is this actually coming from the people who are working?

I pretty much only know people who routinely work at Christmas and nobody does this. Working person fits around rest of family ie if they’re on a night they join during the day (if not going back that night). We’d do nibbles and drinks with an BBQ Christmas Eve (we live somewhere warm) , Christmas Day all trimmings, Boxing Day leftovers. Presents each day only in that if you see family members you haven’t seen you get your present from them. Santa only comes once!

That’s crazy. I’d expect all gifts for the kids to be at our place and be opened on 25th. Maybe 1 gift per place per kid in the other places (will help keep kids occupied for a bit). But going full on for 3 days is too much.

Yes - she is. Just not at a paying job.

I think if you or a close family member is one who works on Christmas then the rest have to flexible to certain extent. Be that celebrating on different day or having a few ‘do-overs’.

I agree 3 days in a row of turkey or rouast would have me eating salad and fruit for a more after. But I’d do it.

We do similar. Wanted Christmas day just us. No pressure.

Then doing all of both families on boxing day was rather crowded and rushed and overwhelming for the kids, parents even got competitive! So we split it. But we do boxing day with one and new year with the other to spread it out a little.

Blimey. If you have to see people on Xmas eve and Boxing Day then at least don’t sort a full Xmas dinner each day eg have a Boxing Day buffet type thing - bread, cheese, meat, pickles etc.
Just be honest and say 3 consecutive Christmases including meals is too much so if they want to come over things will have to be different this year

I grew up with a big, fancy meal on Christmas Eve. So the transition to also having some presents that day hasn’t been that difficult. The menu between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day isn’t the same with our families though.

Three christmas dinners is madness!
But having a Christmas season with family is lovely.

Our Christmas will be:

Christmas Eve: steak and kidney supper (with crackers and Christmas cake) Church and Christmas film with in-laws.

Christmas Day: The usual Christmas dinner and presents with my family.

Boxing Day: More extended family round for more presents, Big Christmas ‘leftovers’ meal (mostly cold meat and salads but with hot potatoes) more crackers and party games etc. Some family stay over to the 27th.

27th: Fancy breakfast / brunch, afternoon Pantomime and evening takeaway, monopoly, etc.

So every day is Christmassy and special but not identical. You need to do something like this.

We did that last year (having 3 consecutive days) and thought it was utter madness! And I've ended up doing the same this year! :(

Last year I hosted 1 event at my house, but it was too tiring! Especially with kids to also look after. So this year I said I'm not hosting anyone at my house, and I am happy to cook on each day something to bring to the parties

Crazy!! Children over the age of about three will know that Christmas is one day. Yes - you can go to granny's for Xmas Eve, and Aunty's for Boxing Day, and may get family presents (as opposed to Santa presents) but the food can be anything.

The biggest problem is people who tell their DCs that all presents are from FC. Make sure they know that small things and stockings are from Santa, and the rest are from friends and family. Then there is no issue with spreading them out over a few days, and family get thanked for their gifts.

Spread the festivities - but don't pretend that Christmas Day is happening over and over....

There was one year when we had my DPs on Xmas Day and DMIL on Boxing Day with roast dinners (but different meat) on both days. (MIL went to her daughter on Xmas Day).
But that was just one year, and after that, I refused to do two roast dinners on consecutive days, as I already had a lot of turkey from Xmas Day.
If you have to host meals on various days, I would make it something different, eg a Buffet, or something else.

We have 3 Christmas days to accommodate different family members. It's exhausting but also lovely.

I haven't voted I'm afraid!
When I was little (in France) we had 5 Christmas lunches between dec 20 and January 6, as every auntie and everyone else's grandma competed for the gigantiquest slap-up of the season.
But santa klaus didn't visit them all, just my home on Christmas morning for some unfair reason 😆
There were family presents from grandmothers (just the two!) and very different traditions- not the same kind of toys, rituals and signs of affection from one grandmother to the other.
Fast forward to these practical times where my brother, sisters and I are hundreds of miles and two countries apart. Christmas is altogether with my mum and dad every other year, then off to all our respective in-laws the next. So every other Christmas is quiet.

Which doesn't solve your problem. At one level, if you have your children, i-Ls and grandchildren for a Christmas (or thereabouts) and exchange presents, what do you care if they go off to do it again in your i-Ls family? I'd identify more precisely where the niggle is. If it's negotiating dates each time- make communication as easy as poss, get every adult in an email or WhatsApp huddle to set out constraints and pick dares. If it's the work or finances, ask for help - e.g. you bring desert, etc. If it's the shower of presents, how about secret santa for the grown-ups. But if it's "I'm Mrs klaus, she shouldn't be", then yabu, do your Christmas, your grandkids have two more grandparents who love them too.

I don’t think I would be up for 3 Christmas roasts in a row. The easiest thing is to change your Christmas meal on the day to something else easier/lighter whatever. I know a lot of people especially with young children now make the big meal on Christmas Eve and eat leftovers/buffet on Christmas Day so they can enjoy the day opening presents, playing with the new toys and watching films with their kids rather than spending hours in the kitchen.

That's a good point, I hadn't considered the other side.

Going out on boxing day for main meal would be a solution perhaps ? Toby Carvery?

Yay! A bunch of frozen food warmed up in the oven.

Not so bad when you’ve already enjoyed a lovely roast one day. Pretty depressing if you’ve been working through Christmas up to that point.

I care 😋

Well I think that’s awful! I understand wanting to be in your own little family unit for Christmas sometimes, absolutely, and you shouldn’t feel you don’t have the right to do that. However not at the expense of a parent or other loved family member being on their own. I’d only suggest that if I knew my parent had somewhere else to go, eg another child, a sibling, cousin etc who would invite them. The least they could do is have Christmas morning as a family then invite you for lunch (or maybe a late afternoon Christmas dinner). I think you are within your rights to say you’d love to see them at some point in the day, especially as you were on your own last year as well. I feel bad for you.

It’s totally normal to celebrate with family (whether they work or not) across all 3 days. But only one of those days is Christmas. On Christmas, we do the big Christmas lunch and we do opening stockings and presents.

Christmas Eve is Chinese food (no presents) and Boxing Day is leftovers, possibly a ham, cheese and crackers, presents opened from anyone who hasn’t been around for Christmas Day. We host all 3 days for complex and annoying reasons. I’m not cooking 3 bloody Christmas lunches!

Christmas dinners on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day, and a lovely, quiet day in between sounds wonderful to me. You could start your very own unique-to-your-family traditions for Christmas Day. Presents from Santa first thing - silly stuff, put some imagination into Christmas-stocking-type gifts. Then a long, lingering turkey sandwich brunch. A walk in the afternoon if your DC are up for that, or watch a film all together like in ye olden days. An evening in pyjamas picking at leftovers and prepping the Christmas dinner for the next day.

Not read the thread but no it's not normal or ideal. One person/family hosts Christmas day and that's " the Christmas Day" regardless of what day it might be.

Then everyone else involved does their own thing on whatever days they want. There's no need to invite everyone round if you've done Christmas a week early because people are leaving the country/working etc.