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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to stop making these comments

139 replies

winterberri · 24/11/2024 11:47

They feel a bit relentless tbh and they are grinding me down.

’It’s a tip in here’
’This car is like a bin’
’the Kitchen is full of junk’
’theres kids toys everywhere’

It just isn’t helpful. It makes me feel bad and like I’m a slovenly person and I’m really not!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Mandylovescandy · 24/11/2024 11:56

I like the just agreeing with it approach.

AutumnFroglets · 24/11/2024 11:53

’It’s a tip in here’
’This car is like a bin’
’the Kitchen is full of junk’
’theres kids toys everywhere’

Okay dear, when do you think you will be able to sort it?
Yes it is, it's your turn to clean/tidy though.
It's at least half your fault so why are you moaning instead of dealing with it?

Keep throwing the problem right back at him. He either shuts up or he tidies it himself.

NoSquirrels · 24/11/2024 11:53

If you can’t change him, then change your reaction to him. It’s not your fault (I assume? I imagine it’s messy because you’re looking after children and potentially working as well and your husband is a lazy bastard who doesn’t think it’s his responsibility) so don’t internalise the ‘criticism’. It’s not your fault or your sole responsibility so don’t let him make you feel it is.

pointythings · 24/11/2024 11:52

I agree with everyone else who has said that you should say something along the lines of 'Well, what are you going to do about it then?'.

Northernduck91 · 24/11/2024 11:50

'wel why haven't you tidied it then, DP?'

coffeesaveslives · 24/11/2024 11:50

Tell him to clean it up if it's bothering him.

ByMerryKoala · 24/11/2024 11:50

'Don't say it, fix it', on repeat.

NoSquirrels · 24/11/2024 11:50

YANBU. It is unhelpful.

Tell him that.

Or just agree? ‘Yes, you’re right, dear. Terrible, isn’t it?’

Tink3rbell30 · 24/11/2024 11:50

"Clean it then"

Original poster
winterberri · 24/11/2024 11:49

This is exactly what I keep saying but he just carries on. I’ve actually ramped it up a bit and said directly that it’s hurting my feelings and making me upset and he does stop for a bit but then it’s as if he can’t help himself (I know he CAN but that’s how it feels!)

OP posts:
CitizenZ · 24/11/2024 11:49

What's stopping him from actively cleaning up himself?

FinanceLPlates · 24/11/2024 11:48

Well, what is he doing about it?

wizzywig · 24/11/2024 11:48

When you see him mutter "God, you again?" "Still here then?"

CRbear · 24/11/2024 11:48

“What are you going to do about it?”

everytime!

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