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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Update - where’s the new Guardian Soulmates?

196 replies

Snowfish79 · 24/11/2024 08:57

Having stumbled upon the above topic via dear Google…. I wonder if any wise and informed persons have an answer?

I may be shot for being a boy, in a girls’ place…. Please make it quick 🙏🏻

OP posts:
WandsOut · 26/11/2024 08:47

Oh God, Guardian Soulmates where 60 year old + men approach 30 year old women and try to use the arts as lubrication.

herecomesautumn · 26/11/2024 08:46

Snowfish79 · 26/11/2024 00:08

To all those that have chosen to make critical and unkind or unpleasant comments in response to my post; I have been in touch with the poster of the original question - I contacted her before making the post - and she wrote this:

“I've just read your thread. What a vitriolic rabbit hole. Sorry you had that experience. Appalling behaviour. I'm temporarily embarrassed to be a woman.”

Food for thought!

As for me, 24hrs is enough life wasted

Edited

Food for thought?

For whom?

anythinginapinch · 26/11/2024 08:39

You could have listened and learned something from women. But nahhh. Why bother, eh? When you're so on point with the "sorry i upset xyz but wasn't my intention" line, that saves you the bother of ever having to change

unclebuck · 26/11/2024 08:21

Hoppinggreen · 26/11/2024 08:04

I bet she was thrilled that you contacted her and isn't it lovely how she agreed with you and completely validated you.
Do you feel better now a woman has made it all ok?

😂

Hoppinggreen · 26/11/2024 08:04

I bet she was thrilled that you contacted her and isn't it lovely how she agreed with you and completely validated you.
Do you feel better now a woman has made it all ok?

Original poster
Snowfish79 · 26/11/2024 00:08

To all those that have chosen to make critical and unkind or unpleasant comments in response to my post; I have been in touch with the poster of the original question - I contacted her before making the post - and she wrote this:

“I've just read your thread. What a vitriolic rabbit hole. Sorry you had that experience. Appalling behaviour. I'm temporarily embarrassed to be a woman.”

Food for thought!

As for me, 24hrs is enough life wasted

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 23:49

YouHaveAnArse · 25/11/2024 23:45

Nobody would have known you weren't "a female" unless you told us.

Show quote history

Ummm…. Others have disagreed with this 🤷🏻‍♂️

Either way, the responses are fucked up!

OP posts:
YouHaveAnArse · 25/11/2024 23:45

Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 09:34

I think the question is quite clear?

A female asked the same thing about six months ago and a healthy discussion followed. I post and get only criticism and abuse…. What a friendly bunch you are 👍🏻

Show quote history

Nobody would have known you weren't "a female" unless you told us.

Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 22:56

mrlistersgelfbride · 25/11/2024 22:47

One of my best mates is on bumble. I'm not going to say the area but she's lovely ...keep looking!

I also have a friend who met his wife on hinge and they married this year (they are 40).

Show quote history

Thanks for that! Rather put off women for now following the responses to my post!

I’ll keep an eye open for your lovely mate 🙂😇

OP posts:
mrlistersgelfbride · 25/11/2024 22:47

Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 20:54

Thanks for that, I have dabbled in both and found it’s like panning for gold 😂

Show quote history

One of my best mates is on bumble. I'm not going to say the area but she's lovely ...keep looking!

I also have a friend who met his wife on hinge and they married this year (they are 40).

Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 21:06

unclebuck · 25/11/2024 10:22

The thumbs up have jumped the shark, shame, I was about to to nominate this for classics 🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Ummmm… what? 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 21:01

herecomesautumn · 25/11/2024 09:40

Are you Martin Goodman, OP?

Whoooo?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 21:00

EmpressaurusKitty · 25/11/2024 20:22

Sex is much better than gender.

And if you’re staying, I recommend looking round, reading some threads & getting a feel for the place.

This sounds like the sort of ‘joke’ I’d be crucified for

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 20:58

Hoppinggreen · 25/11/2024 10:25

Interesting how fast the mask drops isn't it?

Mask?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 20:54

Sayoonara · 25/11/2024 20:47

To answer your question...probably Bumble or Hinge.

Thanks for that, I have dabbled in both and found it’s like panning for gold 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 20:53

EmpressaurusKitty · 25/11/2024 20:22

Sex is much better than gender.

And if you’re staying, I recommend looking round, reading some threads & getting a feel for the place.

Can you remind me the difference? Not a trick question!

I’m not sure how long I’ll stick around….

OP posts:
Sayoonara · 25/11/2024 20:47

To answer your question...probably Bumble or Hinge.

EmpressaurusKitty · 25/11/2024 20:22

Sex is much better than gender.

And if you’re staying, I recommend looking round, reading some threads & getting a feel for the place.

Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 20:15

EmpressaurusKitty · 25/11/2024 19:58

Contrary to how it might appear, I have met real humans of both (all?) genders and even have friends and have had relationships 🤷🏻‍♂️

Well, you’re one up on all the blokes begging for advice on the Relationships board then.

But ‘all genders’? Can we just go with ‘both sexes’?

Both sexes is fine by me. I was trying to be sensitive and to be honest am not sure what the ‘right’ words are. Possibly for any topic! Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 20:10

MinistryofThyme · 25/11/2024 10:29

reeling continuously due to Gaza, Ukraine, the American election…. Wondering where human kindness, understanding and empathy have gone. It seems there is almost exclusively polarisation and defensiveness

god are we to blame for those too?

No. That’s not what I said

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · 25/11/2024 19:58

Contrary to how it might appear, I have met real humans of both (all?) genders and even have friends and have had relationships 🤷🏻‍♂️

Well, you’re one up on all the blokes begging for advice on the Relationships board then.

But ‘all genders’? Can we just go with ‘both sexes’?

Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 19:53

Hoppinggreen · 25/11/2024 10:43

There is someone on another thread who is (probably) female and looking for a new friend so perhaps look for that.

Oh? A probably-female? Sounds perfect! Thanks 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 19:50

LouiseD1977 · 25/11/2024 19:25

Were you not heading off to join Boysnet?

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Turns out it’s not a thing, so I’m stuck here 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowfish79 · 25/11/2024 19:49

OuterSpaceCadet · 25/11/2024 10:47

Seriously OP.

Women aren't firing rockets at children in Gaza, attacking Ukraine and nor are they Trump. Those are men and men's deeds you're talking about.

I think you're getting a rough time from the off because when your use of the term "girls" was criticised you went all brittle about it. Men with fragile egos are tiring to deal with. Too many women are probably still married to dudes like this and don't have the bandwidth to face them online too.

It's ok for some women to object to the term "girls" you know? You, as a man, really don't have the right to police that. But it's also ok to get stuff wrong or disagree or whatever.... Just don't demand that women conform to gender stereotypes of deference and helpfulness in this uniquely female dominated place.

Women aren't a receptacle to cater for your every need. We are simply humans of the opposite sex. No more and no less

I'm not trying to make you piss off. If anything, I think you should hang around and try and see things from women's perspective if you're intent on dating women.

With respect, my reference to world events were in response to another member’s post, about unpleasant things happening and people being kind to each other - or not. I hadn’t meant it to be gender related.

I understand your other points - but maybe a bit overthought? No offence intended. I had meant to ask a simple question, and I made a light hearted remark which I didn’t intend ‘mean’ anything.

i wasn’t intending to demand that women conform to any stereotype…. I wasn’t aware I had a fragile ego…. And I wasn’t meaning to imply that women are receptacles to cater for my every need….

I occasionally ask things in various groups and thought the general etiquette for others to respond to the question, or not, as they wish - but not to ignore the question and tear the poster to pieces.

Contrary to how it might appear, I have met real humans of both (all?) genders and even have friends and have had relationships 🤷🏻‍♂️

OP posts:
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