Daughter getting fat in school

The daughter has had surgery to remove a hormone related tumour. The weight gain is overwhelmingly likely to be linked to that. And the daughter hasn’t been to any medical professional other than the school doctor. OP is consulting the GP with a view to investigating what’s been going on since the surgery.

Nope. OP has said several times her DD can go to day school if there’s a problem and many posters have said taking her out of boarding school will be even more of a problem if she’s happy and settled there. So many stupid assumptions about boarding schools here.

Nobody puts that much weight on is happy. The daughter has been to a medical professional.

And no matter how delicious food is it isn't typical for someone's appetite to multiply in a three month period.

Bollocks. Do you think a disabled single mum is poncing around skiing in the Alps ? At least read the thread before posting vapid responses.

Why do people insist on going down this rabbit hole ? Have you not read the full thread ? OP is a disabled single mother. She possibly has bursaries in place for boarding school - these are not given without good reason. She hasn’t sent anyone away to school. She says it works for them, DD is happy and settled and the other two children are excited about going away to school. Right from the start, the fact that DD is at boarding school has been the excuse for so much batshit input.

There is zero justification for palming your kids off to boarding school and the idea that regular army can spend money on boarding school is bordering on the ridiculous. It's social engineering pure and simple as mummy and daddy ponse around skiing in the Alps.

Do people really send prep-school age children to boarding school, how sad. Kids learn normal healthy eating patterns by being taught at home around the table with their families, maybe you should rethink outsourcing your parenting responsibilities.

I don't think that's true. Food is delicious, it's very easy to put weight on.

This isn't the place for a rant about b schools.
But one single post to put the other side (and I hope you can leave it or start a new thread!)

Some students go for very good reasons.

One of my closest friends boarded from age 7 which they say was far too young, and they do bear the 'scars' then went on to one of the top UK boarding schools. It was the thing that upper middle class parents did decades ago.
They spent the next 40 years teaching in very good boarding schools helping to make them happier places for the pupils and run on very different lines.

I've worked in boarding schools and they are very relevant to some children, whose home lives aren't stable (eg Forces) or where parents' work means a lot of overseas travel, sometimes for single parents (widowed - not necessarily divorced.)

Grow up in what way. Person is correct.

Exactly this 💯

The punishment post was shocking. Thanks for posting it pp. The poor child clearly isn't happy. And given the medical history it's crazy op hasn't taken her straight to the GP. And when you do op- do leave the room to allow your daughter to speak freely to the Dr.

Why would OP engage with something so significant as 'bringing up your own child' when this can be palmed off to an deviant, demonic, destructive and deranged institution, as a perverse form of parental privatisation, out sourcing for social engineering purposes. What else are these parents doing all day? Is a career THAT important above bringing up your own flesh and blood. Read Earl of Spencer's autobiography and get back to me x

Always happens about this point. People can't be arsed to read back. Cue pages of irrelevant and out of context comments.

Sending your kids to boarding schools is basically abandoning your child off for someone else to do your job (Parenting which should be naturally maternal, emotional, sacrosanct) Palming your kids off then wondering why they are eating excessively - Wow! Maybe it's to quell their feeling of parental abandonment. Other than being rich, name me one justification for sending your kids to boarding school? I'll wait.

Why don't posters read the thread?

Yes I'm thinking the same. In fact I'm wondering if this is PCOS?
I had similar issues in my mid teens and it was found to be PCOS. My GP put me on the pill to regulate the hormones (late 1970's) but there may be more effective treatments out there now.
I think a GP referral is required OP. Good luck 💐

Where was the tumour if pituitary will effect your appetite same for some other tumours and if in steroids rapid weight gain common

@joey197860

Is your DD upset about the weight gain?

In all fairness, it sounds like you're going to get her checked out medically now.

What sort of junk food does she have access to? DD only did two years at private school, but all they had access to in their kitchen was granary bread, marmite, cheese for toast/sandwiches and fruit. DD used to moan there was a lot of fruit and yogurt in the dinner hall, so whilst they contain sugar, I wouldn't consider them junk. I've not idea what other schools do, but they should be providing a healthy meal plan.

@Westofeasttoday I agree with a lot that you say but I think it's possibly derailing the essence of the thread to blame boarding schools in the way you have.

Boarding schools have changed over the years and most now are genuinely highly involved in pastoral care.

The ones I worked in attracted parents who worked overseas a lot or sometimes where parents had split up. They felt the stability of a good school was more than they could offer as a single (often very busy) parent.

I am fully aware of the 'damage' a boarding school can do. A very close friend boarded from age 7.

But most boarding schools now are also day schools and at a senior level they are mixed.

The feeling I get from the OP is that she sets very high standards, which isn't bad in itself, but maybe lacks compassion and the D feels under huge pressure.

I was miserable at boarding school (I didn’t last long) and I also piled on a ton of weight. I don’t think it was solely misery-munching, a lot of was new shiny hormones and not having any say in what and when you eat.

I boarded. Food was a very loaded issue and I wouldn’t necessarily say all schools are on top of what is being eaten, where, how much, with whom. I gained weight as the house kitchens were a place to make noodles, pasta n sauces, toast etc with friends - it was a social occasion. By sixth form there would be additional snacks laid out after supper at about 8pm. However, I was miserable, and took it upon myself to sort it out myself. Ended up being anorexic for the next four years.

Good summary and think you nailed it.

I dont know anyone who parents their children in such a draconian way and know loads of children who are sweetness and light because they are loved and given balance in their lives.

The OP sounds detached and like her child is a chore.

For the life of me I dont understand why you would have children and then willingly shove them out to boarding school no matter how ‘good the school’. These children are basically thinking ‘my parents don’t love me enough to want me to be home and want strangers to look after me’. Yes there are exceptions but wanting an institution to raise your child and then being shocked they have gained so much weight is really worrying.

They go from draconian measures to complete freedom (sure with rules) no wonder your child is struggling.

The view that boarding schools are all awesome is wrong. They are full of addictions, disorders and mental illnesses. Not solely but more than a good school. In fact that is why some parents send their children there so that someone else can deal with it.

I truly hope your daughter isn’t suffering medically but when you get another doctor telling you nothing is wrong perhaps you will take a step back, look at yourself and the environment you have created and realise the problem started at home.

Thank you couldn't remember the condition. It does sound possibility of being Cushing's