Daughter getting fat in school

You said OP was disabled and not child. Get your story right.

There is zero justification for palming your kids off to boarding school and the idea that regular army can spend money on boarding school is bordering on the ridiculous. It's social engineering pure and simple as mummy and daddy ponse around skiing in the Alps.

What's utter Bollocks is that a disabled single mum can get her kids into boarding school for free. Yeah, you cannot get enough of these stories in the media. Everyone knows disabled people are the most disadvantaged groups in the country, now your spouting this nonsense that they get free boarding school places. Grow up

Fond of telling people to grow up aren’t you ? I was a disability outreach worker for 20 plus years. Came across a handful of parents of disabled children whose only solution for providing suitable education for their children was boarding school and the LA provided a bursary. Most of them were single parents whose relationships had broken down and the father wasn’t on the scene. Maybe try to remember that professionals post on MN before you tell people to grow up.

There is zero justification for palming your kids off to boarding school and the idea that regular army can spend money on boarding school is bordering on the ridiculous. It's social engineering pure and simple as mummy and daddy ponse around skiing in the Alps.

What's utter Bollocks is that a disabled single mum can get her kids into boarding school for free. Yeah, you cannot get enough of these stories in the media. Everyone knows disabled people are the most disadvantaged groups in the country, now your spouting this nonsense that they get free boarding school places. Grow up

Do people really send prep-school age children to boarding school, how sad. Kids learn normal healthy eating patterns by being taught at home around the table with their families, maybe you should rethink outsourcing your parenting responsibilities.

Bollocks. Do you think a disabled single mum is poncing around skiing in the Alps ? At least read the thread before posting vapid responses.

You said she's had surgery to remove a tumour but you haven't even taken her to the GP or contacted her surgeon about the weight gain....that is not 'trying everything else', that's barely doing anything.

I didn't post out if lack of love or care. Everything else has been tried. Please do not insult me for caring about my child. There are plenty of other countries where obesity is not a problem. Anything goes is acceptable here. But when it is my child's health, well-being that is at stake.
And boarding school or not, it's a parental choice. Her younger sibling can't wait to go boarding. Boarding school has many advantages over day school for us.

Why would being single and disabled mean all 3 of your kids get bursaries to private school? And even if they are bursaries, op still has chosen to send her kid away. This is not the first boarding school from what she says and the child could attend as a day pupil but op has chosen not to do that. If you’re hugely worried about your child, you have them home of an evening! Bursary or not! Surely?!

I am usually pretty anti Boarding school but I believe that in a very small number of cases the awful homelife can mean its a better option .

Why do people insist on going down this rabbit hole ? Have you not read the full thread ? OP is a disabled single mother. She possibly has bursaries in place for boarding school - these are not given without good reason. She hasn’t sent anyone away to school. She says it works for them, DD is happy and settled and the other two children are excited about going away to school. Right from the start, the fact that DD is at boarding school has been the excuse for so much batshit input.

Where does it say the OP is a disabled single Mother? I can’t see that anywhere?

It doesn't matter how fancy and hotel like her upmarket Dubai boarding school is.
She's comfort eating,
She's not happy.
She should be home with you

Disregarding the emotional side of this (which I tend to think is the key) I'm surprised there is no follow-up from the surgery last year.

For such a major operation, I'd assume there were regular reviews with the specialist.

I'd also expect forewarning of weight gain if it was likely.

I'd also expect a teen to be able to control the eating of 'sugary foods' if they have been advised, after the surgery, to avoid them.

This is why I don't find a medical reason easy to accept because after such an operation it would be usual to consult the medics who did it, not a boarding school GP. (These are usually local GPs who do a stint at the school each week or less often.)

Why do people insist on going down this rabbit hole ? Have you not read the full thread ? OP is a disabled single mother. She possibly has bursaries in place for boarding school - these are not given without good reason. She hasn’t sent anyone away to school. She says it works for them, DD is happy and settled and the other two children are excited about going away to school. Right from the start, the fact that DD is at boarding school has been the excuse for so much batshit input.

Having experience of boarding school I guarantee the core diet will be well balanced and regular exercise will not be negotiable. The Matron and Housemistress would without a doubt have picked up on disordered eating very quickly and alerted OP and the school GP. OP will also have BUPA as part of the fees - honestly I don’t understand why she has not definitively ruled out a medical cause before jumping to the conclusion she has. All the resources and support will be in place. My take is she would rather be angry at the school than manage her child’s health because being angry is easier and less scary than looking for the cause when the family has already been through a lot with DC’s tumour surgery and assumed life would go back to normal

I'm presuming your talking about a English boarding school saying that no other country has such an obesity problem as the UK?

I know two bordering schools very well. Both only open kitchen for evening meals. Can't belive any private UK boarding school can offord to employ catering staff all hours. Both of my examples contracted catering. Evening meal is more like a supper. Lunch is hot meal and pudding.

Is that what your saying? Unlimited refectory all hours? Who pays for that? Your fees must be astronomical.

Isn't it not that likely that this is medical because @joey197860 wasn't warned by the consultants. If the surgery might provoke some kind of endocrine response after a few months, she'd be told. Even if it was 1:million chance, she'd be told.

And because her reaction is to change schools,(to take her D away from the temptation of rubbish food) it suggests she doesn't think it's related to the surgery at all - or a specialist would be her first move.

Considering the 'brutal' discipline at home, I'm wondering if her D has low self worth and is being bullied at school?

Is it an all girls boarding school or mixed?
Is she a weekly boarder?
How does she behave/eat at home?

So many unanswered questions around all of this.

She won't admit being unhappy to her Mum, because she (the mum) likes to think everything it hunky dory - that she's happy, excelling, well adjusted etc.

If this is not medical, it's saying' Help! Why can't you see I'm unhappy.'