Daughter getting fat in school

When she was 12, the yearbook had phrases underneath each eighth-grader’s photos.
My mum’s was “pleasingly plump.”
At 90, she was still angry and obsessed with that because she was so insulted. Mum was incredibly beautiful.
That began a lifetime of dieting, and she roped my sister into it too. I remember them eating these things called “Ayds,” — they were little chocolate candies wrapped in waxed paper that you ate with a hot drink. My sister was 15, and she was “pleasingly plump,” too.
Neither of them were fat.
One little damaging comment can do a lifetime of harm.

It is almost half a century since ES attended school. I think we can agree the world has changed a lot in that time. It is clear to me you have little to no experience of what a modern boarding education looks like and appear to be dredging up historic experiences to shore up your personal distaste for people who choose to spend their money on their child’s education. Which is weird.

This poster has gone. If anyone knows her could you please get her to contact me.

I work with hormones. Please contact me.

Pituitary tumour?

tropical fruits are the highest but you are correct on the berries and cherries.

No it is not. What you are describing is disordered eating.

It is if access is available where it wasn't before

OP, I’m finding it hard to understand what your real concern is here and honestly concerned reading your replies. You sound shallow and arrogant.

Why on Earth are you on here asking for advice about your kid looking fat when she recently had major surgery for a tumour? Why are you taking the school medics word for it? They aren’t an endocrinologist or oncologist. Take her to the doctor and get it checked, for Pete’s sake.

She is a girl, who just started at a new boarding school just after tumour surgery - all you appear to worried about is her eating and weighing too much. No kid puts on 3.5 stone in 4 months happily. She’s probably sick or trying to cope.

You are responsible for her health and well-being. If you’re the loving parent claim to be, focus on her health first before complaining to strangers and her school about her size.

Where does OP reference a malignant tumour or the loss of an ovary ? I can’t see that anywhere in any of her posts.OP has said no ongoing treatment or Medication and has confirmed that the tumour could affect hormones - that could be any number of benign tumours, and could be responsible for the weight gain.

Apologies - difficult to tell written down sometimes !!

Er, no. My DH is type 2 diabetic and fruits with a low GI won’t spike blood sugar - even high sugar fruits like melon, pineapple and cherries can be eaten in moderation,

@joey197860, thank you for justifying the prejudice I have against the sort of parents who send their children to boarding school.

It seems looking at the back story that this young girl has had an awful lot to deal with one way or another.

Disabled single mother, with much younger siblings at home. Seems like a bit of an unconventional family, reading between the lines. I'm guessing she has been given a bursary/scholarship to board because of some challenging circumstances at home? And then to cap it all she has a malignant tumour diagnosed, resulting in the loss of an ovary. That's a lot for a 13 year old girl to deal with. She may be putting on weight because her surgery has messed up her hormones just as she's going through puberty or she may be comfort eating because she's dealing with a lot of shit.

I'd be interested to know how much she weighs and what her height is.

Thanks I was being facetious.

Those are bursaries. As I pointed out, they are different. Election (as it’s called) holds no value.

Somthing similar happened to me. How old is she?

Reasons why it happened to me... I had an eating disorder prior (did a 'skinny' sport and then gave it up) and then I started eating 'like other girls' and that really hit me. I was also quite stressed, big lifestyle change from being active to suddently having to study hard and stay in more, so had a big bowl of cheesy pasta for stress relief as lessons finished, and then snacks to help with studying as the evening went on. Was also surrounded by people that throught junk food was normal food.

Similar happened to my cousin when she changed schools and had a big lifestyle change (harder academics, loss of full-on sport routine).

Similar happeed in first year of uni as well, again, similar factors.

You're right that if the school is creating an obesogenic environment and think that is normal, that is probably not the place for her. Environment and habits are so important as a teen.

Could she live at home?

She needs to find other ways to manager her stress. A step away from eating out of boredom/ stress, and a move to use physical activity and outdoors time to help with the change instead would be good.

How she learns to cope with changes and environments now is probably pretty key to her future health.

People may slate you for it, but there's actually nothing wrong with being in a more health conscious, active lifestyle oriented environment. Teens eating junk food is not normal, no matter what popular culture tries to tell us.

Just to give you an idea of the calories involved:

Let's say 17 of the 22 kg have gone on in 17 weeks. So that's 1kg a week, 143g/day, and a gram of fat is 9 calories. So that's almost 1,300 calories per day, every day, beyond what she needs.

For reference, a digestive biscuit is about 70 calories, a can of Coke is about 130, and a Big Mac is about 500.

This 😔 Poor kid

What a horrible way to talk about your own child… “daughter getting fat”

Just imagine if she ever stumbled upon this thread (however unlikely that may be is irrelevant)

Eton offers over 100 no fees scholarships per year
https://www.etoncollege.com/eton-outwards/broadening-access/

Difficult to tell without any information on age, tot weight etc. but assuming it’s as bad as you portray have you tried having a conversation with your daughter about her apparent obesity? How does she feel about her current appearance?

It’s a moot point as there are state boarding schools where you’re only paying for the board.

St Paul’s is not a boarding school. It has music and drama scholarships and a bursary programme.

That thread is over 5 years old now. I don’t think we can make assumptions that the OP is still single and disabled. Some disabilities resolve over time. It’s a huge assumption that she has a permanent disability, she may well have a relationship now; she hasn’t confirmed any of this in the current thread, so I don’t think it is relevant.