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Original poster

Daughter getting fat in school

561 replies

joey197860 · 24/11/2024 07:49

Teenage daughter has gained 22kg in new boarding school. No medical explanation for it and she's very happy, wrll integrated and academically excelling. School has a shop on site and girls have access to kitchen in the evenings. Daughter had major surgery last year and specifically should not eat sugar loaded food. What am I to do? I want to pull her from the school at the end of this term. The school is absolutely no help when I discussed this with them.

OP posts:
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Darkmodette · 24/11/2024 08:15

Putting on that amount of weight will shape her entire life. Get her out of that school asap. Then figure out, when she’s at home, what is going on.

EmotionalSupportPotato · 24/11/2024 08:14

joey197860 · 24/11/2024 08:06

Good God, no! She's not that type of girl.

What do you mean not that type of girl? So judgey

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 24/11/2024 08:14

I hope haven't told her she's getting fat.

Could be a control thing to get back at you.

fedup33 · 24/11/2024 08:14

Poor kid.

Mumofteenandtween · 24/11/2024 08:13

If the gain is in the last 4 months then presumably some of that time is while she was at home for the summer? Was she gaining weight then as well? What was she eating at home?

“Most of” 22kg in 4 months is about 5kg a month or 1kg a week. That means over 1000 calories a day more than she needs. I’m not sure that you can explain that with just a bit of over eating. Binge eating maybe. Are you sure that she is happy at the school?

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 24/11/2024 08:13

Are you sure there isn't something wrong? 3.5 stone is an awful lot to put on in 3 months, that's a stone a month at least. Even my perimenopausal weight gain didn't go on that fast.

And School doctors aren't great (at least our one wasn't).

ChitterChatter1987 · 24/11/2024 08:12

First things first your attitude in the way you speak about your daughter needs to change... 'getting fat' sounds incredibly derogatory and unkind and I hope to goodness you don't say that in earshot of her to her or anyone else!
Secondly, weight gain CAN happen when someone is happy and comfortable....it can also happen when someone is not happy and they are comfort eating.
Was she UNDERweight before?
If she is a teenager all you can really do is try to encourage her to think about her health needs and perhaps seek medical advice around how to promote a more balanced diet, due to the need to limit sugar because of her medical condition.
But you or school trying to clamp down too strictly won't work.....the forbidden food is the most tempting.

sunsettosunrise · 24/11/2024 08:12

I was a day girl at a boarding school, whenever I hanged out with the boarders. the food looked pretty rank and low quality, although this was 10 years.

Bluetrews25 · 24/11/2024 08:11

Is the weight gain all around her stomach?
Is it ascites? - fluid in the belly, often related to other issues
Is her health ok, or is this a sign of complications?

DrunkTinkerbell40s · 24/11/2024 08:11

I would definitely take her to the GP and just say you'd like a general check up, blood tests etc

DrunkTinkerbell40s · 24/11/2024 08:10

The comments about boarding schools and likening them to kennels are ridiculous. I went to boarding school and absolutely loved it.

OP, you say she had a tumour removed. Could that tumour have been somewhere that affected hormones? That might cause weight gain?

A friend of mine put on a lot of weight as a teenager and it was due to Cushings Syndrome x

Original poster
joey197860 · 24/11/2024 08:10

I am at my wits' end. The school doctor said no medical reason. I'm tempted to bring her to our local GP.

OP posts:
Cupofcoffeee · 24/11/2024 08:10

How old is she and why is she boarding? Is she a healthy weight? Eg very skinny but put some weight on and now is healthy? Or is she obese? We need more info.

Moonlightstars · 24/11/2024 08:10

Why is she at boarding school? If I had had major surgery and got sent away I would be heartbroken.

hazmatte · 24/11/2024 08:08

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Lana26 · 24/11/2024 08:08

They shouldn’t have to close kitchen as your daughter can’t stop eating. Surely she’ll have free access to a kitchen even if you took her home. This is a large amount of weight to put on in a short time though- could there be a medical reason?

HangingOver · 24/11/2024 08:08

I think a lot of people get a bit porky at boarding school unless they're one of the sporty ones. I remember piling into the kitchen when it was cold and everyone wolfing down four slices of white toast with jam and peanut butter between classes. The canteen food was all delicious (especially to me coming from a comp).

Original poster
joey197860 · 24/11/2024 08:08

She did move from another one. She had a tumour removed. The weight gain is totally excessive and the only explanation is free access to rubbish edibles.

OP posts:
Marblesbackagain · 24/11/2024 08:07

joey197860 · 24/11/2024 08:04

She has boarded since prep school. She's not happy about putting on the weight. There isn't any explanation except having free acces to rubbish. I think the kitchen should be closed at night.

Well that's one way of introducing disordered eating to more if the students 🤦‍♀️

If food needs to be locked up you have a serious medical condition. That isn't the method to solve this.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 24/11/2024 08:07

How old is she? If it is a situation where rubbish food is constantly available and a source of socialising, like a sort of summer camp arrangement, I could see that being really difficult.

TrumpIsACuntWaffle · 24/11/2024 08:06

joey197860 · 24/11/2024 08:06

Good God, no! She's not that type of girl.

Judgemental much?

Original poster
joey197860 · 24/11/2024 08:06

Good God, no! She's not that type of girl.

OP posts:
Styleislost · 24/11/2024 08:05

It’s a new boarding school?

Did she move from another one? Why was there a move?

Or if it’s her first boarding school why was boarding school decided?

What time frame is this in? You say ‘new’ but surely she can’t have put that amount in since September? This really doesn’t add up.

What operation did she have which means she can’t eat sugary food? Or was the operation connected to a condition?

Original poster
joey197860 · 24/11/2024 08:05

Most weight gain is over the last 4 months.

OP posts:
Original poster
joey197860 · 24/11/2024 08:04

She has boarded since prep school. She's not happy about putting on the weight. There isn't any explanation except having free acces to rubbish. I think the kitchen should be closed at night.

OP posts:
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