Daughter getting fat in school

So why does she board then if you can have her at home?

You seem quite prickly and defensive op. What do you mean "I don't believe in comfort eating?" You refuse to acknowledge it happens? You don't personally do it? People have suggested lots of reasons for your daughters weight gain, it could be something linked to her operation, a hormonal imbalance or linked to her mental health in some way....and that's not suggesting a failing in you as a parent, she's been through a lot. Or maybe the weight gain has happened because after an op you are less mobile and she hasn't got back into all her sports again?

You sound very matter of fact about it all and a bit dismissive of suggestions your dd might be struggling. I wonder if you are quite a successful, high achieving and resilient person and therefore just cannot fathom that your dd might be finding things a struggle after her operation.

Please contact her specialists too.

And don't be talking to her about it being her fault or down to her eating problems. Or blaming the school for the availability of food (which she will interpret in the same way). Whether it's physical or psychological that won't help.

Go to the GP. I would worry about the tumour returning.

I would get her checked by the doctor. If it's not medical then it's more than likely a lack of self control or somethings on her mind and she's comfort eating (I make no judgement either way about it being boarding school related)
I was on contraception from 13 and I was not "that sort of girl" as you put it. It was the only way they could control my acne which was causing spots that were more like boils all over my back.

Well done, I think that's for the best.
In order to have an open conversation you might need to explain to your daughter ahead of time, or ask her to stay out of the room while you initially talk to the doctor. I'm not sure how best to play it. You need to be Frank with the doctor that she's put a lot of weight on in a short space of time xxxx

It could be nothing, but best to get checked especially with her surgery x

Could this be connected to the surgery she had ? I’m assuming the tumour was benign as you haven’t mentioned any ongoing treatment, but depending on where it was situated could the effects of the surgery be responsible ? May be worth discussing when you see your GP.

The language you use makes me worry about what you’re saying to your daughter. Something is obviously wrong, whether it be medical or emotional, she needs her parents to be sensitive.

I detest the idea of boarding schools, it’d have been over my dead body with my two, because you need to be around during any bad times. This is obviously a bad time for your daughter and my heart goes out to her.

OP get her bloods tested for pcos. I gained about 20kg in a year when I started my period at 11 and used to eat healthy but it just kept piling on. I used to feel so upset that the slim girls in school used to seem to eat loads. It turned out I had pcos and a huge dermoid cyst which was messing up my period and hormones.
I went on a low carb diet and lost it all. I’ve kept it off ever since even after 2 dc. I eat a lot of bread but have to be careful with rice or pasta carbs. Does your dd carry most of her weight on her belly? If so that can be a sign of pcos.

OP, I’m so sorry that I can’t stay on thread right now, but I’m just going to post again to strongly suggest you speak to your oncology team. I’m extremely surprised that any recent tumour isn’t still on 3-4 month follow up, and that they haven’t already picked this up, but in case this isn’t a discussion you’ve had with them I’d want you to call this week.

Ascitis is very painful, she will know if it was that. I had it and only had 500ml of liquid (that would have been jusr half a kilo weight gain, maybe a bit more than that because if the inflammation it caused, but say one kilo) and could barely walk from the pain.

There really isn’t any need for such a vicious reply.

If she’s happy and settled in school then I would think forcing her to leave and start over in a new environment away from all of her friends is probably the very worst thing you could do and will make her feel like she’s being punished for gaining weight.

You haven't clarified OP whether her weight now is obese.
The fact you're avoiding this question makes me wonder whether actually your daughter was underweight previously (perhaps due to the tumour?) and now that her health is better has rapidly gained weight as a result. Lots of girls fill out quite a bit in the mid teens and if she was previously underweight it may be she's gained quite a bit.

@joey197860 you seem convinced there is nothing psychological going on and that you may have one of those unicorn teenage daughters without any complexity or hidden emotions...

So if you're convinced there is nothing psychological going on, then I'm not sure you want to get from this thread?

It's either something wrong medically - see a doctor, or she's unhappy in some way - but you're going to need to shift your attitude if you're ever going to understand why.

That sort of weight gain says there is either something physically wrong or she's struggling with her mental health. If you can afford boarding school I would be paying for a referral to an endocrinologist immediately.

Can you write out with her a healthy eating plan and she can record what she has in a food diary?

If she’s had major surgery and is struggling with food control she surely needs to be home with her family.

🤣

On a serious note, bring her home.
Look after her properly, give her stability and the warmth of a home.

Teenagers are notoriously problematic but they need their parents to parent them.

What? There's lots of reasons teen girls might use contraceptives that don't involve them having sex. I was given the pill at 14 for horrendous heavy periods. Dianette can help with acne. It's a reasonable question to ask.

Has your daughter been to the GP and had bloods done, and are you sure there is no medical underlying reason, e.g. thyroid issues, PCOS, any issues with blood sugar control?

What kind of tumour? This really sounds like a medical issue.

I really think you need to take her for a proper screening, putting on a stone in 3 months is easily doable. 22kg is a lot, I’d be really worried there is something wrong either physically or psychologically.